Death Don’t Us Part
Life and death never end up like you think. I went to sleep one night, dreamed about being back at college with a lobster for a roommate, then woke up in a coffin. It was comfortable, at least.
I lay there for a bit, wondering why I had had a lobster for a roommate when I heard a tap, tap, tap.
“Who’s there?” I said. What else do you say?
“Is that you, Jamal?” It was my wife Olivia.
“Yeah, I’m in a coffin. Where are you?”
“In one too. I’m next to you.”
“Huh. Do you suppose we’re dead?”
“I suppose.”
There was a pause that could have been a few seconds or a few years.
“Do you think this is because we omitted ‘Til death do us part’ from our vows?” I asked.
“Could be. I never thought of this happening. So, you want to get out of here?”
“Can we?”
“After you, monsieur.”
I tried and a moment later, I found myself in a cemetery at night. A translucent version of Olivia appeared a moment later.
“Have you lost weight?” I asked. She rolled spectral eyes at me.
“You don’t have to be so grave about everything,” I said. That made her laugh.
“You kill me, you know?” she said.
“Not anymore. So, what now?”
She took my hand. “I don’t know, go visit our old haunts?”
“Now look who’s starting.”
We floated off. Together.
The Green-Walled Tower 
March 22nd, 2015 at 7:10 pm
Haha! Very funny! Loved it. And may you both be dead happily together for ever more. 😀
March 22nd, 2015 at 7:54 pm
Hopefully they don’t get bored or tired of each other. But it sounds like they’re off to a good start. 🙂
March 22nd, 2015 at 7:54 pm
True! 😀
March 22nd, 2015 at 7:36 pm
Very nice. A new take on a love story that was quite enjoyable.
March 22nd, 2015 at 7:55 pm
Thanks. This couple evidently takes everything in stride.
March 22nd, 2015 at 11:17 pm
This is one of your best. Love…it’s comfortable at least – and “Have you lost weight?” I asked. She rolled spectral eyes at me. Spectral, now there’s a word. Clever and funny 🙂
March 23rd, 2015 at 7:58 pm
Thanks, Susannah. I swear I write these for my wife, since she loves sappy scenes like this. I have a romantic side to me too from my dad.
March 24th, 2015 at 4:01 am
Yeah, but they’re romantic with humor, like Poe doing comedy.
March 24th, 2015 at 7:37 pm
Now I really want to read Poe doing comedy. 🙂
March 24th, 2015 at 8:56 pm
That would be really something, wouldn’t it?
March 24th, 2015 at 7:40 pm
Actually, Poe doing comedy might be like Ambrose Bierce. Have you read any of his work? He did some dark stuff but also some comedy and lived at a similar time to Poe.
March 24th, 2015 at 8:57 pm
Will check him out 🙂
March 22nd, 2015 at 11:18 pm
PS Reblog at Halloween
March 23rd, 2015 at 7:58 pm
🙂 Good idea.
March 24th, 2015 at 4:02 am
It’s really funny David yet creepy – what a great combo.
March 23rd, 2015 at 1:06 am
as long as they love each other…. 😉
March 23rd, 2015 at 7:59 pm
That’s the main thing.
March 23rd, 2015 at 8:07 pm
I almost died laughing 🙂
March 23rd, 2015 at 8:29 pm
Well, if you do, take the Brothers Grinn and come haunt Iowa. I’ll bet they’ll let you use your own bereavement rate. Or send yourself UPS. They charge by weight, so it should be almost free.
March 23rd, 2015 at 8:54 pm
“…charge by weight… almost free.”
LOL, good one 🙂
March 23rd, 2015 at 8:48 pm
Aw, that’s sweet and funny. Who knew omitting a few words could have such lasting effects? Great puns. You had me laughing throughout. I’m still smiling. Loved the story. 🙂
March 23rd, 2015 at 10:18 pm
Glad to hear you liked it. This is my sappy, silly side coming through. 🙂
March 24th, 2015 at 10:04 am
An interesting undertaking, David.
AnElephant has the ghost of a smile on his face.
And a question.
Was it the salmon?
March 24th, 2015 at 7:42 pm
It could have been. Something that got them both with one fell swoop, in any case. Either the salmon or a meteor. AnElephantCant know but he can speculate!
March 24th, 2015 at 7:14 pm
… a tap, tap, tap.“Who’s there?” I said. What else do you say?… Loved it. A very enjoyable read.
March 24th, 2015 at 7:42 pm
Thanks. 🙂