I woke in a room that smelled vaguely of peanut butter and wasabi. It was the kind of smell that slapped you awake and made you write home to mom about it. Once I was fully awake (and had written a short note to my mother) I noticed I was in a long, pearly-white corridor. It was shiny and plastic, like something from a 1970’s sci-fi movie.
I stood up and noticed a plaque on the wall that said Ancient Wasteland And Robotic Doughnut Society, or A.W.A.R.D.S. for short. An arrow pointed down the corridor with a friendly reminder written next to it that said “I’m pretty sure this is the way you want to go.” I took the wall’s word for it and started off.
Before too long, I came to a door with a computer screen next to it. On it, were the words:
Most Influential Blogs of 2012. You were nominated for this award by Alastair of Alastair’s Blog. Do you accept? (Y/N?)
Blink. I wasn’t expecting that. Of course I hit yes. To be nominated for anything by Alastair, who posts such amazing photos and cool music was a honor.
The screen changed. There are no rules for this award, it read.
“Is that true?” I said.
Yes, the screen said.
“Can you hear what I say?” I asked.
No, the screen said. I was suspicious. Please enter blogs you have found influential.
That was an interesting challenge. Hmm, I thought and started punching in names.
– Arjun Bagga of http://arjunbagga.wordpress.com/ I love his beautiful pictures and stories and actually I was inspired to write my Fantastic Travelogue after reading one of his posts. I love the way he captures the souls of common people.
– Rochelle Wisoff-Fields – Addicted to Purple http://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/ I have had a lot of fun and learned a lot participating in the Friday Fictioneers, a group she runs. I love the way she comments on every story that’s posted.
– Sharmishtha Basu: http://sharmishthabasu.wordpress.com/ Sharmishtha has been very influential to my writing, from inspiring stories, to using pictures of mine in her writing. I love her fantastic stories, great artwork, and spirit of activism to help those in need.
– Written Words Never Die: http://ericalagan.net/ Eric has been a very influential blog for me. I love his dark and fantastic stories and his short, but powerful flash fiction.
I stopped for a moment and the door suddenly opened. There were others that I found inspiring, but the screen had turned dark, so I continued down the corridor. I walked for a while and was passed by a robotic doughnut that was playing with a yo-yo.
I came to another door. This one was glowing and next to it was a screen with cherubs on it. The cherubs were playing cards when I got there but when they noticed me, they jumped up and shoved the cards out of sight.
“Welcome!” they said in unison (they said everything in unison, which was a bit disconcerting). “This is the Shine-On Award. You got nominated by Kim, from Unwalled. Do you want to accept?”
“Of course,” I said. “Kim is awesome. I don’t have any other friends in the Bahamas (that I know of) but I could have a million and still not have one as nice as her.” They nodded enthusiastically.
“So what do I do here?”
“You have to nominate 15 people that you think really shine,” they said.
“And what does that mean?” I asked.
They conferred for a moment. “That’s up to you. Also, you have to nominate 7 blogs that tickle your fancy.”
“I just put in some that were influential. Can I skip the ‘tickle your fancy’ part?” I asked.
They conferred for another moment. “Fine, as long as the influential ones also tickled your fancy. Did they?”
“Assuredly,” I said. “Can I nominate Unwalled back?”
“Uh…No. But you can thank her.”
“Very well.” I started to think of some blogs that I thought really shined in one way or another.
“Would you like to add why?” the little cherubs asked. “It’s optional.”
“Will the people see this?”
“Mostly likely, yes.”
Very well. I started typing.
1. Teacher as Transformer: http://ivonprefontaine.com/ A source of inspirational thoughts from a fellow teacher.
2. Miss Four Eyes: http://missfoureyes.wordpress.com/ Really, what’s not to love? Adding a little joy to my daily reading.
3. Mindful Splatter: http://marilyndavies.wordpress.com/ Great stories and pictures of daily life.
4. An Evil Nymph’s Blog: http://evilnymphstuff.wordpress.com/ Wonderful photographs and stories from the island of Mauritius and the mind of an evil nymph.
5. Ironwoodwind: http://ironwoodwind.wordpress.com/ I love reading his great, compelling stories every week.
6. Rambling and Other Nonsense: http://matronbell.wordpress.com/ She posts beautiful thoughts and great stories. I just finished her novel, Planet Atlantis, and really liked it.
7. Josie Coccinelle: http://josiecoccinelle.wordpress.com/ The only French blog I follow. She has such a sweet heart. I wish I could comment more confidently on her posts, but I’ve forgotten a lot of my French.
8. The Urge to Wander: http://theurgetowander.com/ She goes all the places I wish I could, or remember going. I travel the world through her pictures.
9. ABC of Spirit Talk: http://abcofspiritalk.wordpress.com/ Such great thoughts, especially those that use animals as metaphors.
10. Diary of a Lost Girl: http://completelymistaken.wordpress.com/ I love everything I read from her and am always happy when I see her around.
11. Boomie Bol: http://boomiebol.wordpress.com/ What a great and kind poet. Passion and love exude from her writing.
12. Life in Kawagoe: http://cocomino.wordpress.com/ My window into the world of Japanese culture, sharing the simple side of life.
13. Luddy’s Lens: http://luddyslens.wordpress.com/ A wonderful look at the world through photographs.
14. Elixir: http://bradleyball.wordpress.com/ One of my oldest friends. I love reading his perspectives on life, family, and Christianity.
15. Jodies’ Journies: http://cutenosegrl.wordpress.com/ Inspiration and thought-provoking posts.
I could have kept going, of course (my blogging friends really do shine on) but as soon as I had put in the fifteenth name, the door slid open.
“Bye bye!” the cherubs said in unison and then disappeared.
By this time, I had no idea what to expect next. I came to a staircase and starting climbing up and up. Lightning flashed. Somewhere, off in the distance, the Inspector Gadget theme was playing. I came to a third door. Actually, it was a portcullis. The screen next to it was 3D and when I approached, a booming voice shouted:
“You have been nominated for the Epically Awesome Award of Epic Awesomeness!”
“Is that a real thing?” I asked.
“Yes, of course. You were nominated by the Blog of the Imaginator, a very epically awesome person in his own right. Do you want it or not?”
“Of course,” I said. Who wouldn’t want an award for being epically awesome, or awesomely epic?
“There are rules!” the voice boomed. “First, you must tell me ten things about yourself…and write them on pieces of fruit!”
“I don’t see any fruit,” I said.
There was a rattling sound and a wagon-load of fruit rattled down the corridor towards me. “Sorry!” the voice echoed. “Our cook quit today. Now get writing!”
I picked up a banana and wrote: I hate getting up in the morning.
“Be more interesting!” the voice shouted.
I wrote I have watched the entire Simpsons series in order on a rather large apple. The voice didn’t say anything else, so I got down to work.
3. I abhor long sleeves (written on a mango)
4. The longest I’ve been unemployed since I was 12 is five months (written on a bunch of grapes; one word on each)
5. I’ve always lived on either the top or bottom floor of a building (written on a watermelon)
“These are becoming pedestrian!” the booming voice warned.
I picked up a cantaloupe and wrote: I love coffee. The voice huffed a little, but shut up.
7. I am currently listening to Don Francisco on Youtube (written on a jack fruit)
8. My current cell phone was obsolete when I got it in 2008 (written on a mandarin orange)
9. I really want to go camping in Greenland sometime (I tried to write this on a strawberry, messed it up, ate the strawberry, ate a few more, then wrote it on a musk melon.)
10. I hate it when I maek typos (written on a papaya)
“Are you being sarcastic?” the voice demanded, but then noticed that I had ten things and continued. “Next, you must nominate 10 people whom you think are epic. Get cracking!”
I stepped up to the screen and started to write.
1. Monk Monkey: http://monkmonkeysblog.wordpress.com/ A great, funny blog
2. Music and Fiction: http://musicandfiction.wordpress.com/ Music plus fiction equals a great combination
3. Oh God, My Wife is German: http://ohgodmywifeisgerman.com/ Hilarious cross-cultural fun. When people think fun, they think Germans.
4. Chosen Voice: http://chosenvoice.wordpress.com/ Seriously, check out her artwork and stories. Epic is the only word.
5. Tales of a Charm City Chick: http://talesofacharmcitychick.com I’ll read anything I can get from the inimitable La La.
6. waldotomosky: http://waldotomosky.wordpress.com/ Sweeping sagas of brawling Norsemen are just the beginning.
7. Christopher de Voss: http://chrisdevoss.wordpress.com/ Great quirky fun that’s right up my alley. Plus, he’s the guy that made up the name Edward “the Squid” Morrison.
8. The Bumble Files: http://thebumblefiles.wordpress.com/ One of my oldest blogging friends and such a great wealth of quirky stories and great thoughts.
9. Dysfunctional Literacy: http://dysfunctionalliteracy.com/ Where I go to feed my love of great and weird books, as well as the continuing saga that is the Long Story.
10. Moments with Millie: http://momentswithmillie.wordpress.com/ I love reading her inspirational thoughts every day. She has a beautiful, loving heart.
“Next, you have to tell the people that you nominated them!” the voice shouted.
“But won’t they know when they get the notification that I linked their blog?” I asked.
“Are you that lazy?” the voice shouted. “Where is your netiquette? Now go tell them!”
“Are you going to open the door then?” I asked. There was a pause.
“Fine.” The portcullis clattered up and I walked forward. Soon I found myself looking out of my own Green-Walled Tower. The land of A.W.A.R.D.S. makes you feel good but it sure can be strange sometimes.
For those who are interested, here is what the original forms of the awards look like:
http://kattermonran.com/2013/03/01/most-influential-blogs-of-2012/
http://unwalled.wordpress.com/2013/03/21/the-shine-on-award/
http://theimaginator.wordpress.com/2013/03/25/awesome-again-only-epically-so/
The Green-Walled Tower 
March 27th, 2013 at 1:38 am
I am honored to be found epic! XD
March 27th, 2013 at 1:39 am
What can I say 🙂
March 27th, 2013 at 1:48 am
That you’ll keep reading my blog. ^_-
March 27th, 2013 at 1:50 am
Fair enough. 🙂
March 27th, 2013 at 1:42 am
wacky way to present awards. definitely refreshing
March 27th, 2013 at 1:44 am
Thanks. I like to put my own spin on things, if I can.
March 27th, 2013 at 1:43 am
That was brilliant 😀
You deserve them though.
March 27th, 2013 at 1:44 am
Thanks, and thanks again for nominating me. I finally got around to accepting it 🙂
March 27th, 2013 at 1:48 am
You’re welcome 🙂 I’m still putting them out from last year 😆
March 27th, 2013 at 2:28 am
This is by far the best award post I have seen. It beats the, list 10 things about yourself and announce you got an award posts hands down. 😀
March 27th, 2013 at 3:26 am
I actually started following you when I saw that you were nominated for the epically awesome award. Since I only opened my WordPress account a week ago I’ve been looking for good blogs and I can’t say that I’ve found the search engine too useful. It was worth following you just for this post! I will have to take the time to look through some of the blogs you’ve nominated.
March 27th, 2013 at 3:41 am
Wow! Some spin on an award acknowledgement 😀
Honoured beyond words David, thank you so much!
March 27th, 2013 at 4:30 am
Ha ha, David; that was a lot of fun…! Very happy to accept..!
Shine On; you Especially Awesome, Influential Blog you. 🙂
March 27th, 2013 at 4:33 am
Epically awesome way to receive awards 😀
March 27th, 2013 at 5:15 am
Mmm…robotic donuts…
I have never been called super epically epic before! Thank you, this is really epically epic of you!
March 27th, 2013 at 5:52 am
Hi David….Wow!!……..this piece is uniquely creative and awesome!!!!…..Thank you for your kind sentiments…..I’m honored….really, I am….:)… and congratulations on receiving the other two awards……you absolutely deserve them all!….:)……keep working that gift…….there is greater to come!……..Kim
March 27th, 2013 at 7:05 am
Thanks for the nod, and I loved how you presented it.
March 27th, 2013 at 8:10 am
I love how you did this :). Thanks so much for the kind words and the nomination.
March 27th, 2013 at 8:11 am
Thank you for listing my blog I’m honord it.
I like Camping, too
March 27th, 2013 at 8:38 am
Ah, I see the connect and you’ve given it an amazingly new dimension but in a David Stewart signature style, I’d have never guessed otherwise.
Thank you David. It’s an honor and I’m deeply humbled by your kind words of appreciation for my work. You’ve been a great support, right from my beginning days of wordpress. I have no clue how I came this far and I think not much with my lil brains rather take my inspiration from friends such as you, I see writing volumes, back to back, brewing new characters and tales. Wow!
P.S. I had a deep burning desire 😀 to write about awards on wordpress. Hmm..let’s call it a wrap!
March 27th, 2013 at 9:01 am
David, I am truly touched and humbled by your kindness and generosity. I love your blog. Thank you always for your constant support.
March 27th, 2013 at 10:08 am
The most creative piece I’ve ever read re: acknowledging, nominating and responding to awards.
Very well done and very deserving, David.
Thank you also for your kind words in passing on the Most Influential Blogs of 2012 my way.
High five,
Eric
March 27th, 2013 at 10:26 am
Merci beaucoup! Que tu aies pensé à mon blog m’a fait très plaisir… 🙂 A bientôt… Je conserve ce message pour aller visiter les autres blogs que tu as nominés!
March 27th, 2013 at 11:57 am
[…] Look, you’re distracting me from my point. Just hours ago, David (the one I’m thinking of who you may never have met) nominated me for the Epically Awesome Award of Epic Awesomeness. […]
March 27th, 2013 at 1:21 pm
Lol, great story/adventure. 🙂 Also Thank You for the award 🙂 It was very sweet, and actually made my day, thanks. 🙂
March 27th, 2013 at 1:23 pm
I’m so honored, David. Thank you so much for thinking I’m in the Epic Awesome category!! I loved the way you wrote this up. So creative. Thank you!
March 27th, 2013 at 1:32 pm
Thanks, David! What a great way to present the awards!
March 27th, 2013 at 4:02 pm
having any problem in wordpress?
March 27th, 2013 at 4:05 pm
it seems the website has crashed here! absolutely crashed or rats have gnawed the website
March 28th, 2013 at 4:40 am
Hmmm….”robotic doughnuts,” you say? Are they non-caloric? I hope they’re non-caloric, but also still delicious.
Thanks for the nod, David. Also: “Oh, My God, My Wife is German” is hilarious! My husband is of German descent. I am forwarding that link to all of my in-laws.
March 28th, 2013 at 8:41 am
Yeah, I like that one a lot. I can relate to some of the things, living in a foreign culture.
March 28th, 2013 at 10:31 am
Wow! I think you’ve written the BEST AWARD POST EVER!! Thank you for the nomination. And also thank you for putting so many blog links on one post. Now when I want to check out some cool new blogs (“new” for me anyway), I can come here (after reading the latest epic awesome or awesome epic story you’ve written) instead of randomly searching the blogoverse. Thanks again!
March 31st, 2013 at 3:31 am
I really loved how you wrote it like an adventure story! Very unique approach for awards 🙂
Thank you so much for nominating me for the shine on award! It really means a lot to me! Thank you, thank you, thank you so much! 🙂
March 31st, 2013 at 11:01 am
Hey, you deserve it. 🙂 Glad you liked the story. I wanted to make it my own. 🙂
April 2nd, 2013 at 6:37 pm
Thank you once again 🙂
The other thing I noticed about the story, more than it being adventure it was like a computer game and going through the levels 🙂 I liked that idea!
April 2nd, 2013 at 8:15 pm
It was kind of crazy and random, but I was in that kind of mood that night, I guess. 🙂
March 31st, 2013 at 3:33 am
Reblogged this on Diary of a Lost Girl and commented:
My dear friend nominated me for the Shine On award 🙂
Thank you once again!
April 1st, 2013 at 5:51 pm
you deserve booker prize! I wish I could do something about that!
and I wish I could write an amazing post like this as an acceptance note 🙂
April 1st, 2013 at 8:14 pm
You are very sweet. 🙂 Someday, perhaps.
April 2nd, 2013 at 3:13 am
Wow a lovely shower of awards! Congrats! And thank you for nominating me 🙂