copyright Sandra Crook
The Rust Queen
My favorite teacher was Miss Ferrous, but we just called her Rusty. She had a tattoo that said “Rust Queen” on her arm.
We once took a class trip to the junkyard. We shot rats with a shotgun and Rusty showed us how thermite could burn through an engine block. We collected all the cool-looking scraps and dragged them back to school, where Rusty showed us how to weld. I made a scrap-racer and named it The Rust Queen, after her.
Even today, it sits on my porch, a tribute to the best kindergarten teacher a boy could ever have.
The Green-Walled Tower 
April 10th, 2013 at 7:13 pm
What a teacher….kindergarten!
April 10th, 2013 at 7:27 pm
an innovative idea. really good
April 10th, 2013 at 8:31 pm
Great story. Ha. Still laughing.
I should have steeled myself for it. Painless and stainless.
As a rust bucket myself, I can appreciate Ms Ferrous (was her brother a wheel? A Ferrous wheel?).
For those who can remember, I remain
Rin-tin-tin and Rusty
April 10th, 2013 at 8:43 pm
Dear David,
Gee, I feel cheated. All my kindergarten teacher taught me was how to make butter out of cream by shaking it in a jar and finger painting. I enjoy your writing and this one didn’t disappoint.
Shalom,
Rochelle
April 10th, 2013 at 10:10 pm
In retrospect, we didn’t do anything cool in kindergarten either. What a gyp.
Thank you, by the way, Rochelle for your comments. They are always appreciated.
April 10th, 2013 at 9:00 pm
Hahaha. Kindergarten 😀
I love that. The idea of kids using thermite and welding 😀
April 10th, 2013 at 10:07 pm
Start them on electronics in Grade 1, programming in Grade 2 and they’re making little Iron Men by middle school. 🙂
April 10th, 2013 at 10:08 pm
And by the time they leave, each house has it’s own nuclear fission pump 😀
April 10th, 2013 at 10:18 pm
Yep. 🙂 If they survive to university, they’ll be set for life.
April 10th, 2013 at 9:14 pm
Nice memory if only it were true. I think I want to date Miss Ferrous.
April 10th, 2013 at 10:06 pm
I know. She sounds like quite a gal. An experiential type of teacher, it would seem.
April 10th, 2013 at 10:40 pm
David, this is wonderful. This is a kindergarten that did more than take naps and try to figure out who’s our neighbor (which is probably why it’s fantasy!!) And shooting rats even with a slingshot these days would likely get you arrested, which is why this is so much fun! I love all the iron word play.
janet
April 10th, 2013 at 10:42 pm
It’s a horrible thought to think of a kindergarten student firing a shotgun, since it would probably break their ribs, but if you’re going to do it, do it over the top. I stopped short of them firing mortar rounds though. 🙂
April 10th, 2013 at 10:43 pm
But you could take out a lot of rats that way. No need to go to extremes. But how about an unmanned drone? 🙂
April 10th, 2013 at 10:45 pm
True, although I’d go howitzer before drones. I like the personal touch. 😉
April 10th, 2013 at 10:47 pm
The personal touch is important when dealing with rats!!
April 11th, 2013 at 1:33 am
That was a really nice take on the prompt, and the voice was very convincing.
April 11th, 2013 at 3:59 am
What a pleasure to read your story. I want a teacher exactly like that! well written, thank you, Penny
April 11th, 2013 at 4:02 am
Miss Ferrous / Rusty??? Great Great Great you used every word in this magically
April 11th, 2013 at 5:02 am
Hot damn, what a wild teacher!
April 11th, 2013 at 7:30 am
Very clever, very cool!
April 11th, 2013 at 8:07 am
Well, well, well, David… that was so sweet and cuddly… One thing about you; you never know what’s coming next… I like that.. 😉
April 11th, 2013 at 6:07 pm
Thank you. I try to keep it fresh. 🙂
April 11th, 2013 at 8:34 am
Funny one David, I have images of five year old kids with welders goggles on. 🙂
April 11th, 2013 at 11:51 am
It’s like an amped up Ms. Frizzle minus the Magic School Bus. Very cool. 🙂
April 11th, 2013 at 6:07 pm
The Magic Rust Bus, coming next. 🙂
April 11th, 2013 at 8:31 pm
Make sure everyone has had a tetanus shot!
April 11th, 2013 at 2:14 pm
Marvelous tribute to an awesome sounding teacher 🙂 Kindergarten must have been super fun.
April 11th, 2013 at 6:06 pm
🙂 My kindergarten teacher actually was really good, even if we didn’t shoot shotguns off.
April 11th, 2013 at 3:28 pm
Sounds like Rusty was a easy rider – in more ways than one.
April 11th, 2013 at 4:27 pm
just loved it david!
April 11th, 2013 at 6:06 pm
Thanks 🙂
April 12th, 2013 at 4:14 pm
two days no post… what are you doing? enjoying spring?
April 12th, 2013 at 4:26 pm
I often don’t post on Thursday, just to take a break, mid-week. I posted on Wednesday and I’ll post today too, so don’t worry. 🙂
April 12th, 2013 at 6:21 pm
graci 🙂
April 11th, 2013 at 5:00 pm
Ahh wish my kindergarden teacher were so cool ! well done
April 11th, 2013 at 7:07 pm
I am sure young boys idolise their teachers (especially females) let alone ones who can give them skills to make a ‘scrap-race’ 😉 Enjoyed this David.
April 11th, 2013 at 7:07 pm
*racer duh
April 11th, 2013 at 11:47 pm
What a class…Very funny and over the top. I loved it.
Tom
April 12th, 2013 at 1:13 am
I love Miss Ferrous! Great story – really enjoyed it 🙂
April 12th, 2013 at 2:06 am
I think everyone has one teacher they will always remember with fondness over the others. The Rust Queen sounds like a wonderful one! I love your creativity and tight storytelling David.
April 12th, 2013 at 9:02 am
Oh wow. That was great. I’m thinking I may be the only one who didn’t write about the bike.
April 12th, 2013 at 5:27 pm
The link to kindergarten teaching is fascinating. Wonder how you got to the idea?
April 12th, 2013 at 7:28 pm
I’m not entirely sure myself. 🙂
April 12th, 2013 at 8:55 pm
Fair enough.
April 12th, 2013 at 9:47 pm
Great story… and the picture of the Rust Queen leaves us wondering…
April 13th, 2013 at 6:37 am
This is a sweet story. Nice to be influenced at an early age.
April 13th, 2013 at 11:14 am
sounds like a cool teacher to me. ah kindergarten. i remember weekly ‘swimming time’ at the school’s pool and ballet and coloring stuff… that’s all we ever did. nothing quite as cool as this! ^^ great tale
April 13th, 2013 at 12:15 pm
Well, I never did anything as cool as swimming or ballet, so I guess it’s all relative. 🙂
April 13th, 2013 at 11:39 am
That sounds like a blast. That’s funny that you shot rats too. Great one!
April 13th, 2013 at 12:14 pm
🙂 Thanks. There probably is somewhere in the US where they teach kids to shoot shotguns that young.
April 13th, 2013 at 2:59 pm
You had me there. I thought it was a true story until you mentioned Kindergarten. lol.
April 13th, 2013 at 7:54 pm
Hi David
I always enjoy your stories, this one was no exception. I loved the image of the Rust Queen, amazing where a photo will lead us
Dee
April 14th, 2013 at 11:17 am
There is such a range of stories and themes stemming from one picture that it says a lot more about the writers than the picture. It’s always fun to see what people come up with. Thanks for reading. 🙂
April 13th, 2013 at 8:39 pm
Great image–the five-year-old sharpshootin’, thermite-burnin’, weldin’- torch-wieldin’, kindergarten-teacher lover. Fun.
April 14th, 2013 at 7:11 am
Very original take. She was a teacher after the little anarchist’s hearts. This was great.
April 16th, 2013 at 10:54 am
As a poor, underprivileged white boy, I never got to attend kindergarten, and until now, never knew what I missed.