The third story in the Peregrine series. Hopefully it can also be a standalone story as well for those who haven’t read the first two. Still, here are the first two: Peregrine’s Bar, Clue 43.
The payphone with no mouthpiece was a neighborhood joke, which was why Albert was surprised to see a man lift the earpiece and put quarters in it.
“Hey buddy, that’s busted!” Albert took another swig of Thunderbird and staggered closer. The man listened to the earpiece a moment, then slammed it down.
“What’d you hear in there?”
The man spun around, his face contorted with rage. “You wanna know? Really?”
“I’m running around the world blind while my daughter is kidnapped somewhere. Satisfied?”
“How much they want for her?”
“Nothing. She’s special. Drink up.” The man walked away.
May 23rd, 2013 at 12:03 am
Awesome. Hope he’s closing on her so he can get her back soon.
May 23rd, 2013 at 12:05 am
I hope so. 🙂
May 23rd, 2013 at 12:06 am
It’s great to follow it. Jules and I have been toying with the idea of writing the full stories of Raynard and Saskia. Have you thought of doing that with any of yours?
May 23rd, 2013 at 12:09 am
I would like to develop this into either a novella or a full novel, but at this point, it just goes on the pile. I have so many projects and stories that are more pressing.
May 23rd, 2013 at 12:10 am
May 23rd, 2013 at 12:50 am
A good piece that really does stand on its own.
May 23rd, 2013 at 4:27 am
I enjoyed this. My only critique is saying “My daughter is kidnapped”. Wouldn’t “held hostage” flow better?
May 23rd, 2013 at 7:19 am
Yeah, that does sound better, although an extra word. Maybe I can tighten up somewhere else. Thanks. 🙂
May 23rd, 2013 at 6:11 am
Good work, Dave. You brought it to the forefront and kept it there. Way to go!!!
May 23rd, 2013 at 7:03 am
David, thanks for making this a story that stands on its own as well as being part of the ongoing story. Thunderbird might make you see anything. 🙂
May 23rd, 2013 at 7:17 am
Thanks! I got stuck on this one, trying to make it fit into the overall plot I’m making, but decided to go this way.
May 23rd, 2013 at 2:14 pm
I loved the energy in this piece. I admire your dialogue skills (skill?) and I just loved loved loved Swig. Nod.
May 23rd, 2013 at 3:50 pm
One man is in agony and the other wants the story:) a nice read and interesting:)
May 23rd, 2013 at 6:20 pm
Feels like an action movie scene told from the perspective of the extra. Nicely done.
May 23rd, 2013 at 6:58 pm
great stand alone piece as well as a continuation to the previous stories. eager to see how you take this forward 🙂
May 23rd, 2013 at 7:10 pm
Have to catch up with the prequels, but I liked this as it is. Great job 🙂
May 23rd, 2013 at 11:46 pm
Even on its own, that’s an interesting piece. Swig. Nod.
May 24th, 2013 at 3:40 am
Peregrine certainly stays frustrated and one step behind doesn’t he? Might I request, most politely in his next scene he get’s some exciting/positive bit of news, unless you’ve already determined what shall be occurring. In which case I will look forward to that one also! 🙂
May 24th, 2013 at 8:07 pm
Thanks for the comment and criticism, but yes, there will be more positive action and forward movement of the plot in the next one. It is hard to see him frustrated all the time.
May 25th, 2013 at 1:29 am
If I were he, it would drive me into a frenzy! Which of course you have been conveying extremely well David!
May 24th, 2013 at 3:40 pm
that’s a surprise turn! I thought she was his lover!
May 24th, 2013 at 6:22 pm
AnElephant is happy that this does stand alone, which is surely the point of this whole 100 word exercise?
May 24th, 2013 at 8:11 pm
Indeed. I really don’t want to drag this out very long, since honestly they’re a lot harder to do. I like the short, totally on their own stories best.
May 25th, 2013 at 2:06 am
Well,while I didn’t exactly understand the situation, why being special meant, she wasn’t worth anything, I liked the use of the broken phone as another link in this poor man’s misery.
May 25th, 2013 at 6:03 pm
I realized after I had posted it that saying “nothing” meant it sound like she was worth nothing, instead of them not wanting to give her back. As for what “special” means, we’ll find out next week.
May 25th, 2013 at 3:29 am
I didn’t even realize it was just an earpiece. Did he hear anything? You kept us on the edge of our seat with this one, David!
May 25th, 2013 at 5:59 pm
I was wondering if anyone would pick up on that: actually, in the picture it’s just a mouthpiece, but since that didn’t fit with my story, I changed it. It would be physically impossible to only have the earpiece, since the cord attaches to the bottom. Anyway, thanks for the compliments. 🙂
May 28th, 2013 at 3:45 am
Ha! Well, let’s just agree to call me a pedant and leave it that. 🙂
May 25th, 2013 at 5:16 am
I think the kidnappers would be ahead to cut their losses and take it on the run…while they still can!
May 25th, 2013 at 5:40 am
Awsome dialogue. and very much a standalone piece .. great.
May 26th, 2013 at 12:52 am
Really good, gripping tale.
May 26th, 2013 at 4:44 pm
It works alone (which is good in my opinion) and it’s interesting.
Um. I’m hesitating to make a comment that may read like nitpicking criticism … but the phone in the photo is missing its earpiece not its speaker. Sorry 😦
May 27th, 2013 at 1:30 pm
It’s funny; I was wondering who would pick up on the fact that it was the earpiece that was missing. Obviously it would be impossible to have just the earpiece, since the cord connects to the bottom of the phone. Still, I bent reality a bit for the sake of the story. I was going to make a disclaimer at the beginner but decided against it. 🙂
May 29th, 2013 at 6:07 pm
[…] The continuing story of Peregrine. Again though, it should be able to stand on its own (I hope). Here are the previous editions: 1. Peregrine’s Bar, 2. Clue 43, 3. Midnight Call. […]
May 30th, 2013 at 11:50 pm
Yes, it can stand alone,but I am going to read the others for my enjoyment 🙂
June 5th, 2013 at 6:18 pm
[…] story of Peregrine and Becky. Here are the previous editions: 1. Peregrine’s Bar, 2. Clue 43, 3. Midnight Call, 4. Special […]
June 12th, 2013 at 8:43 pm
[…] less stand-alone. However, here are the previous editions: 1. Peregrine’s Bar, 2. Clue 43, 3. Midnight Call, 4. Special Becky, 5. Freakish Becky. Obviously when you write flash-fiction, a lot of the story […]