The continuing story of Peregrine and Becky. Here are the previous editions: 1. Peregrine’s Bar, 2. Clue 43, 3. Midnight Call, 4. Special Becky
They see me as a freak; a mutant to be studied and used. They want my Whisper, but they fear it too.
They finally took me off the drugs, trying to determine how I worked. I used my Whisper and they decided to send a message to my father, hidden in coordinates. They suddenly decided drugs weren’t necessary anymore. I Whispered and they called my father.
All it took was one small Whisper and they happily threw themselves through a fourth-story window.
I didn’t want to do it.
I just want to be normal. Why am I such a freak?
June 5th, 2013 at 6:24 pm
You done it then. Well done. I like the way you used it. She is a powerful girl
June 5th, 2013 at 6:30 pm
Inspiration struck me, luckily. 🙂 And yes, she is pretty powerful.
June 5th, 2013 at 7:08 pm
Your story gives me a semblance of an idea 🙂
June 5th, 2013 at 6:49 pm
Every genius was once a freak. So poignant.
June 5th, 2013 at 7:12 pm
Yep, there’s more than one way to look at any ability.
June 5th, 2013 at 7:06 pm
A very powerful piece David!
June 5th, 2013 at 7:54 pm
I complete piece in and of itself. I’m so drawn into your well-written serial. You’re showing us all how it’s done. Good job.
June 5th, 2013 at 8:26 pm
Thank you, Rochelle. That’s quite kind of you.
June 6th, 2013 at 12:24 am
I agree. Please reference my previous comments on your previous posts. 🙂 She’s showing us the power of using your “indoor voice”!! 🙂
June 6th, 2013 at 7:53 pm
“Indoor voice”, there you go. 🙂 No shouting with her, just whispering.
June 5th, 2013 at 8:48 pm
I love how she slowly grasps on the extent of her power. And I think she needs a hug!
June 5th, 2013 at 8:59 pm
Yeah, I think she really does. 🙂
June 5th, 2013 at 9:16 pm
I’m enjoying this serial very much! Great addition!
June 5th, 2013 at 11:08 pm
Nicely done, though that isn’t exactly the image I had in my mind of Becky’s appearance. 😉
June 6th, 2013 at 7:55 pm
I’m curious, how did you imagine her?
June 5th, 2013 at 11:53 pm
Yes, indeed I do like Becky very very much! Well written and most enjoyable! 🙂
June 6th, 2013 at 7:54 pm
Thank you Penny. I’d love to write a novella, or even a novel with these characters later, time permitting.
June 7th, 2013 at 12:10 am
I hope you find the time, He is a very strong character, Becky is compelling, actually the entire story line is, David!
June 6th, 2013 at 1:38 am
This is pretty scary. Yikes. Beware of the whisper. Nicely done David!
June 6th, 2013 at 7:51 pm
Thanks. It’s a scary thought, having someone like that around.
June 6th, 2013 at 2:23 am
OMG you ARE a freak!
June 6th, 2013 at 7:50 pm
June 7th, 2013 at 12:52 am
June 6th, 2013 at 5:41 am
Best to muzzle Becky except on rare occasions
June 6th, 2013 at 7:50 pm
At least don’t threaten her. 🙂 Of course, it would be a dilemma with someone like that; what they could do if they really angry.
June 6th, 2013 at 6:58 am
Special Becky to Freaky Becky — what a neat way to weave this week’s photo into your story series. And a great idea to pivot the action from her perspective, and how she caused the captors to jump out of the window. The suspense is ratcheted up: will her father find her?
June 6th, 2013 at 7:49 pm
I envy Rochelle being able to choose the pictures. 🙂 We’ll have to see what the prompt is next week.
June 6th, 2013 at 8:39 am
“I just want to be normal. Why am I such a freak?”
A normal freak, me reckons
June 6th, 2013 at 7:48 pm
I think that would be a normal reaction for a teenager with terrible powers.
June 6th, 2013 at 9:27 am
The way you connected the photo to the series was really brilliant
June 6th, 2013 at 7:46 pm
🙂 Thanks. You’re sweet.
June 6th, 2013 at 1:55 pm
Works as a serial, works as a stand-alone. And this one was touching too. Super use of all the prompts!
June 6th, 2013 at 7:45 pm
Thank you, Perry. I appreciate the comments.
June 6th, 2013 at 6:53 pm
That’s insane! I love Freakish Becky even more than when she was plain old Special Becky.
I didn’t think you’d manage to fit this prompt into your story, but you did and you did it brilliantly 🙂
June 6th, 2013 at 7:44 pm
Thank you! 🙂 Actually, it gave me a few seconds of panic, but then I figured out this angle to it.
June 6th, 2013 at 8:16 pm
Nice to hear a bit more about Becky, after last week I was quite intrigued
June 6th, 2013 at 8:52 pm
This is excellent; the voice in this was perfectly unnerving.
June 6th, 2013 at 9:40 pm
Thanks. That’s what I was aiming for. 🙂
June 6th, 2013 at 10:07 pm
There isn’t a super like else I would press that ! 🙂 the entire series was well done.
June 6th, 2013 at 10:27 pm
Wow, thank you so much! Glad you like it. I appreciate the encouragement.
June 7th, 2013 at 3:00 am
I am sad for Becky. How pitiful the torment she suffers. Will she ever be at least accepted, if not normal?
June 7th, 2013 at 3:13 am
Had to back up a bit and get some of the last ones of Becky. She sounds as if she is very strange, or just ‘different’! She has some unusual powers.
June 7th, 2013 at 4:11 am
What can I say, Dave, except WHOA! Engaging.
June 7th, 2013 at 6:28 am
I’ve heard of the Horse Whisperer, but not the other way around. I think they were wrong about removing the drugs.
A creepy good tale, David.
June 7th, 2013 at 6:35 am
Not sure what to think of this, but it certainly drew me in. Eerily clever. Now I won’t sleep tonight.
June 7th, 2013 at 7:36 am
Oooh! Very powerful – I could imagine this scene so vividly. Talented write and as Rochelle said a piece in its own right!
June 7th, 2013 at 9:18 am
Reminds me of a movie I saw where a gal could heal others. They wanted to take her apart too…but she was able to escape and grow flowers in the desert.
Also kind of reminds me of Helen Keller a bit. While there was so much she couldn’t do, she was with help able to become quite a wonderful ‘speaker’ herself.
June 7th, 2013 at 4:54 pm
a little more clarification please! add another part David! about how her super power worked!
June 7th, 2013 at 5:02 pm
It’s not finished yet. I’ll try to add some more later, at least one more.
June 7th, 2013 at 6:50 pm
Looking forward to the update. Great little story.
June 7th, 2013 at 8:20 pm
She is coming to terms with what is possible even as she wishes she didn’t have to. A nice bit of writing David.
June 8th, 2013 at 2:17 am
this keeps getting better and better. hooked. amazing 🙂
June 8th, 2013 at 9:39 am
Clever and amazing, David. You’re really able to tie everything together in a most interesting way.
June 8th, 2013 at 11:45 am
So cool. I like that our odd looking creature has a superpower too. It never occurred to me. Out-freakin-standing.
June 8th, 2013 at 6:09 pm
I don’t like being scared, but this was very well written.
June 8th, 2013 at 10:08 pm
Thank you. Does it help that at least she’s really a good person inside? 🙂
June 8th, 2013 at 10:27 pm
Yes, I saw that. It does help. Well written.
June 9th, 2013 at 12:15 am
Wonderful.. but with such powers it must be terrible
June 9th, 2013 at 12:30 am
“I didn’t want to do it.” Well, gee, Becky, do you think maybe you might be a little angry? About the drugs and the confinement and stuff?
Oh. Must listen to Becky…must not argue with Becky…okay, then…
A shivery story. I don’t know which of the characters to sympathize with, if anybody, but it’s well told. Nice job!
June 9th, 2013 at 11:16 am
Thank you. I was going for a more “shivery” tone on this one. I think this has one more installment left in it, so hopefully that will make things a bit clearer
June 9th, 2013 at 5:06 am
A Whisper sounds like such an innocent “gift” when you call it that…mind control is so much more evil 🙂 I love how you’ve made us sympathize with Becky even though she uses her talent for evil purposes
June 9th, 2013 at 11:13 am
Thanks. I would think of what she did as self-defense, but it definitely has the potential for evil.
June 10th, 2013 at 6:18 pm
The cry of every being who feels they don’t fit in – whatever powers they do or don’t have. Powerful tiny tale, David.
June 10th, 2013 at 7:44 pm
Thanks. We do have a strong feeling towards wanting to fit in.
June 11th, 2013 at 3:28 am
Poor Becky to have her life blighted her ‘gift.’ She has such a sad and lonely voice, along with her powerful Whisper.
June 12th, 2013 at 8:43 pm
[…] the previous editions: 1. Peregrine’s Bar, 2. Clue 43, 3. Midnight Call, 4. Special Becky, 5. Freakish Becky. Obviously when you write flash-fiction, a lot of the story has to be implied. I am planning on […]