I had a bad day today. This is my response to it.
There are a million and one opinions on almost anything you could name, but one thing most everyone can agree on is that walking suddenly and forcefully into a web of sticky filaments, filled with mummified insect carapaces (and if you are truly unlucky, the furious, eight-legged occupant) is a perfect way to start a Bad Day.
Such was the case for Francesca Guinevere Dubois IV, who went by the refreshingly plain name of Pat. Pat began the day in a comfortable, caffeine-supported middle ground of routine. She got ready for work and left the house, cutting through the idyllic little wooded area to get to the bus stop.
Whap! Something soft and clinging hit her in the face. A second later, she was clawing frantically at the spider web, trying to wipe it off her face and pull it out of her hair. Dead bugs dangled next to her earrings in filthy parody.
At least there was no spider, she thought. Her hair was messed up and her makeup smeared and she had no choice but to go back to the house and get herself back together. She had almost reached it when she felt a tickling on her neck as the spider that had been sitting quietly on her shoulder decided to look around a little more.
In the ensuing terror-induced flailing to get the uninvited passenger off her neck, Pat whacked her arm into a light pole, bruising her elbow badly. For the first time, it occurred to her that this might be the beginning of a Bad Day.
This little guy just arrived from someone’s nightmare.
There was no time to ice her elbow but she cleaned off her clothes and redid her hair and makeup. She did not dare go back through the woods and so had missed the bus by the time she got to the stop. Finally, 20 minutes late, she stumbled into work.
“Where have you been?” John, her supervisor, asked.
“I got a spider web in the face,” she replied.
He gave her a suspicious look. “Was the spider poisonous?”
“No.”
“So it didn’t bite you?”
“No.”
“Doesn’t seem like a good excuse then.” He walked away, looking disappointed with the world in general.
Typing was painful with her bruised elbow and Pat worked very slowly. Things did not improve when she spilled coffee on her keyboard and had to go down to maintenance and request a new one, as well as explain the whole situation several times over. She was far behind on her work when lunchtime arrived and was now thoroughly convinced that this was a Bad Day.
They were out of her favorite food at the cafeteria and a woman at her table complained about being cold (in August) and wouldn’t let them use the air conditioning. The icing on the cake came when she got back to her desk and John informed her that the director had asked to see her.
“I think it’s about your low productivity,” he said and then walked away with an expression that lamented that a phrase like “low productivity” even existed.
Pat crammed herself into the elevator with ten large men who had just gotten back from a long run. The elevator stopped at every floor until she finally got off on the 20th floor. She waited outside the director’s office for ten minutes before she was escorted in.
“Please, sit down,” he said. “So, can you guess why I called you in here?”
“Yes, I think so, sir,” Pat said. She wiped her hands on her pants and found them already damp. That was the point when she realized they were wet with the transferred sweat of one of the large men she had been squeezed up against. Suddenly and completely, the terrible, horrible Bad Day won. She broke down in tears.
The director blinked in surprise. “It’s nothing bad,” he said. “What’s wrong?”
“I’m sorry, sir,” she said. “I’m not like this usually. It’s just that this morning I took a spider web to the face.” She told him the whole story.
The director’s expression turned to shock. “And you still came in to work? You are an uncommonly strong person. I’ve seen grown men curl up in a fetal position for hours after walking into a spider web. I think you should go home for the rest of the day. Also, go get your elbow treated. You were coming to work so we’ll cover it under our health plan. Take tomorrow off too, just to be sure. Did you drive to work?”
“I took the bus.”
“Do you have a license? You do? Okay, take one of the company cars home. We just bought a Ferrari under our new Corporate Excess program. You can test it out for us.”
“Thank you so much,” was all Pat could say. She stood up and started to leave.
“Oh, I forgot to tell you the reason I called you in here,” the director said. “I wanted to let you know that you won the company charity raffle. Talk to my secretary and she’ll give you the $2000.”
As Pat drove home early in a brand-new Ferrari, $2000 in cash in her purse, she took a deep breath and smiled. It was a Good Day. She might have to go find that spider and say thank you.
The Green-Walled Tower 
August 29th, 2013 at 10:25 pm
I try not to let myself think of any day as bad. If a few unlucky things happen, I just try my best to look out for something more positive, or remember days when something really lucky happened.
If you think you’re having a bad day, chances are you’ll keep looking for things that are bad.
(Yes, that is the cognitive behavioral therapy talking.)
August 29th, 2013 at 10:27 pm
That’s quite true, that if you think it’s a bad day, minor things will tend to take a worse cast. However, objectively some days are definitely worse than others. 🙂
August 29th, 2013 at 10:32 pm
When those kind of days seem to be happening, I think of the time I dropped my purse in the middle of the road before going into a friends house. It was there for three hours before I noticed it was missing and found it again. It was still there, with all my money in. 🙂 Then I think, “No, the bad things do not always happen to me.”
August 29th, 2013 at 10:59 pm
That’s true. Not to reference a recent story of mine, but it’s true that “It could have been worse” 🙂
Actually, whenever bad things happen to me, I think, “At least this will make a good story later.”
August 29th, 2013 at 10:30 pm
Love it. Sometimes good days start off like bad ones. You put in a lot of great detail. I was certainly feeling for your main character. You’ve got an excellent response to having a Bad Day.
August 29th, 2013 at 10:58 pm
Luckily my day wasn’t quite this bad (or anywhere near this good) but you use what you can. 🙂
August 29th, 2013 at 10:47 pm
Im not a spider fan…but these orb spiders are kinda beautiful in a creepy kinda way. still…NOT the way to start the day…end the day or any other time of day! 😉
August 29th, 2013 at 11:02 pm
Yes. I love spiders…from a slight distance.
August 30th, 2013 at 12:38 am
I would positively never want to face that spider again for any reason. I think possibly she could instead thank God for the blessings poured out on her and for surviving what could have been a more harrowing day. 🙂
August 30th, 2013 at 7:21 am
True. 🙂
August 30th, 2013 at 6:53 am
That jumping spider looks so cute 🙂
August 30th, 2013 at 6:58 am
I don’t like bad day. I like response. 🙂
August 30th, 2013 at 1:32 pm
I want to have a very bad day now, David! Can you manage that for me? Set up a spider for me to walk into? Wow, good for Pat. I like the “caffeine-supported routine” phrase. That’s my life in a nutshell, minus the bad days, of course!
August 30th, 2013 at 2:01 pm
That’s kind of my life too I love me some coffee. 🙂
August 30th, 2013 at 2:33 pm
what a perfect web of imagination! I wish all directors were that kind, well walking through a spider web is quite a common thing down here and its yucky but not fatal.
loved, loved, loved the story.
August 30th, 2013 at 4:27 pm
🙂 Thanks. When I hike in the summer, I hit a million of these, especially since I’m so tall. However, I’m usually lucky and can avoid getting the spider on me. By the end of summer, a lot of the ones here are huge.
September 1st, 2013 at 8:59 pm
You’ve put Pat through many miseries and finally let her have happiness. so happy for Pat. Three weeks ago, I dropped Milo in my laptop, which spilled on to the table, floor and wall. Had a difficult time cleaning it. After a couple of days, dropped the cordless phone. This story reminds me of that week. realistic story
September 1st, 2013 at 9:11 pm
That does sound like a bad day. I got coffee spilled on my keyboard a while ago, so I can sympathize. I wish that in real life, things turned out as well as they do in this story though. 🙂
September 1st, 2013 at 9:16 pm
Thanks:) If the author is compassionate, the protagonist would get a fair ending..but destiny is the master in real life..