I Killed Rapunzel
I killed Rapunzel.
The hair, it finally got to her. Some say it was the five hours of brushing a day that sent her mad; others, that her conditioner was cursed. All I know is she started strangling people.
She got five cops down on Brown Street; broke their necks with a single tug. Nothing there when I arrived but five corpses, and a single, 90-foot strand of hair.
I finally got her with a poison-tipped comb. No reward; they just handed me a pair of scissors.
Now what am I going to do with thirty bales of flaxen hair?
February 26th, 2014 at 6:03 pm
ha! Very imaginative. Like it a lot 🙂
February 26th, 2014 at 6:28 pm
I loved it. Thanks for making me laugh 🙂
February 26th, 2014 at 6:35 pm
Thank you. 🙂 I like dark humour.
February 26th, 2014 at 6:54 pm
Now that’s a unique take on the prompt. I will be chuckling over this one all day. Thanks for starting my day with laughter. Love it.
February 26th, 2014 at 7:07 pm
Thanks. I like my humour like I like my chocolate: dark. 🙂
February 26th, 2014 at 7:08 pm
Dark humor is best. My favorite as well. 😉
February 26th, 2014 at 10:20 pm
That may be one of your best lines, the humor and chocolate line. Loved the story. He could donate the hair to the places that make wigs for cancer victims. 🙂
February 26th, 2014 at 10:31 pm
That would be the noble thing to do. Or he could sell it, since real human hair wigs are extremely expensive. Of course, he could sell a tenth, donate the rest, be a saint and probably still walk away a rich man (there’s always a win-win somewhere, right?) 🙂
February 26th, 2014 at 7:01 pm
🙂 Loved the voice in this. Great take on the prompt too.
February 26th, 2014 at 8:04 pm
Ha! Very funny! I’ll never look at hay bales the same again.
February 26th, 2014 at 8:13 pm
🙂 Farmers: the biggest barbers in the world.
February 26th, 2014 at 8:22 pm
Ha ha ha, she obviously never heard of conditioners!! 😆 Great take David.
February 26th, 2014 at 8:27 pm
She probably went through thousands of dollars on hair care products every month. 🙂
February 26th, 2014 at 9:00 pm
Very entertaining David. I love your humour as usual, still smiling at this take on the prompt.
February 26th, 2014 at 9:41 pm
Thanks, Dee. 🙂
February 26th, 2014 at 9:11 pm
February 26th, 2014 at 9:41 pm
February 26th, 2014 at 9:38 pm
This was great. Not quite what I was expecting from the title, better than what I was expecting. Well done.
February 26th, 2014 at 9:42 pm
I was trying to think of some punny title, but then just went with the first line. Just laying it all out there. 🙂
February 26th, 2014 at 9:58 pm
I must say this is probably one of the very best stories I ever read… Great take…
February 26th, 2014 at 10:29 pm
Wow Bjorn, that’s some high praise. 🙂 I appreciate it. Glad you liked it.
February 26th, 2014 at 10:48 pm
Really funny story! Very creative use of the prompt.
February 26th, 2014 at 11:20 pm
🙂 Thank you.
February 26th, 2014 at 10:59 pm
I really like your writing style. I’ll be following 🙂
February 26th, 2014 at 11:19 pm
Thank you. I appreciate it.
February 27th, 2014 at 12:11 am
haha rapunzel’s hair. how awesome! i imagine your narrator must’ve derived a great deal of pleasure cutting all of that hair and damn, that’s a lot of hair! start a wig business maybe. 🙂
February 27th, 2014 at 12:39 am
That was very amusing. Very well done.
February 27th, 2014 at 1:45 am
sell it to wig factory, it will be worth lot of money!
loved the story! its hilarious!
February 27th, 2014 at 2:15 am
You are a killer writer David and it’s time you hire an agent…just a pair of scissors won’t do!
February 27th, 2014 at 8:08 am
Thank you and I agree I do need an agent. I’m just about to start the search actually. Here’s hoping.
February 27th, 2014 at 2:30 am
February 27th, 2014 at 4:02 am
Ha ha! Clever take, David. Rapunzel went mad! That hair was just weighing her down too much.
February 27th, 2014 at 4:19 am
Terribly clever, Dave! Maybe you and Linda could put together an entire collection of these twisted takes on popular fairy tales? Nice work!
February 27th, 2014 at 4:30 am
Very creative and quite a twist on the cherished fairy tale 🙂
February 27th, 2014 at 5:03 am
Ah! More twisted fairy tales! Loved it, darling.
February 27th, 2014 at 5:51 am
The title is so awesome there’s no way the story could live up to it right? Wrong! Hilarious through and through!
February 27th, 2014 at 7:05 am
The Grimm’s brother’s forgot to mention her homicidal nature. Glad you’ve revealed it!!
February 27th, 2014 at 8:02 am
Brilliant! I saw hay, you saw a gazillion feet of hair.
February 27th, 2014 at 2:08 pm
You could donate them to the charity which provides wigs for women having lost their hair to cancer. Can I get you their phone number? 😆
February 27th, 2014 at 2:44 pm
You did her a favor David…long hair is such high maintenance
February 27th, 2014 at 2:46 pm
PS…the photo’s great.
February 27th, 2014 at 2:51 pm
I’ll take the hair, dye it and use it. Another excellent dark and intriguing tale! Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your machete!
February 27th, 2014 at 8:49 pm
Fairy Tale gone wrong, brilliant. I love how you took bales on a trailer and turned them into bails of Rapunzel’s hair.
February 27th, 2014 at 9:15 pm
Have you seen the Pixar Repunzel? I can just picture her singing that magic hair song as she strangles people.
February 27th, 2014 at 10:17 pm
Yeah, I liked that movie. She was too sweet to hurt anyone though.
February 27th, 2014 at 11:06 pm
Love your take on the prompt! I can relate to the hair thing driving you mad. Too many bad hair days can send you over the edge.
February 28th, 2014 at 12:31 am
How are you at knitting? 🙂 Neat take on the prompt, David! I enjoyed it.
February 28th, 2014 at 12:54 am
A lovely, surprising take. Full of gentle twists. Great.
February 28th, 2014 at 5:52 am
Great take on the prompt!! Loved it. You and I definitely share a similar sense of humor…
March 1st, 2014 at 12:02 am
This is simply brilliant!:-)
March 1st, 2014 at 12:09 am
So – they’re bales of flax then? Great and funny take on the prompt. That you looked at the hay wagon and saw bales of hair is funny enough! That said, it’s given me an idea. You took a folk tale and got a plot for a story from it. You could get plots from any folk or fairy tale. This is already being done, but it doesn’t matter, because there are endless such tales and endless possibilities of plots … I have a collection of tales from all round the world. Now I know what to do with them. Thank you!
March 1st, 2014 at 12:25 am
Awh, you definitely deserved more than that! Gosh, love the totally different dark side of Rapunzel you portrayed here, she seemed to be one nasty woman! Great job with the prompt 😀
March 2nd, 2014 at 1:14 am
Whoa! I did not see that coming. Who would have thought of straw as hair ! Brilliant!
March 2nd, 2014 at 6:26 pm
Wonderful piece – you are so talented! Funny, funny – poisoned tooth comb. This was a great read!
March 3rd, 2014 at 4:31 am
Oh, this is priceless. The best fresh look at an old fairy tale I’ve seen in years and years.
March 3rd, 2014 at 9:47 pm
So good. This is such an I original idea. Now those 30 bales… Hollywood must get through a lot of wigs.
March 3rd, 2014 at 10:10 pm
I’m sure they could use a lot. 🙂 I originally wrote “4 bales” but then I looked at the picture again and changed it.
March 4th, 2014 at 6:03 am