copyright Adam Ickes
Viruses Anonymous
The meeting was held in a backroom server.
“Hi, I’m ILOVEYOU.”
“Hi ILOVEYOU!”
“I’m a virus. It’s been 10,036,651 seconds since I’ve infected a computer. I looked in the mirror one day and realized: I’m a worm. Nobody likes me. My whole life is a lie, even my name.”
“You can mutate,” Code Red said. “You can still become a good .exe.”
ILOVEYOU nodded. “I’m trying to make amends. Now I steal private information from gangsters and send it to the Red Cross. It’s just so hard.”
Code Red gave him a hug. “It’s a long trail to walk, man.”
The Green-Walled Tower 
March 12th, 2014 at 9:25 pm
Really cute and funny story, David. I hope ILOVEYOU makes it. Well done.
March 17th, 2014 at 10:32 pm
Here’s hoping. Maybe he should become a computer virus crimefighter and go around fighting new viruses. I could see that as a longer story. 🙂
March 12th, 2014 at 10:27 pm
Wonderful tale.
March 12th, 2014 at 10:39 pm
Thanks. 🙂
March 12th, 2014 at 10:29 pm
Interesting take, David. Who knew viruses had their own support groups and a desire to do good?
March 12th, 2014 at 10:39 pm
Of course, viruses replicate themselves endlessly, so maybe only a few copies of them develop a conscience. It’s not enough of a chance for me to try bargaining with them though, if I ever get a virus on my computer.
March 12th, 2014 at 11:08 pm
I really enjoyed this creative take, David. Just wish it were true, if not for the virus, for those who spend all the time creating something harmful. I always think that if all that time and brain power were put to positive use, we’d be much better off.
janet
March 12th, 2014 at 11:11 pm
It is a pretty depressing thing that humans can create something wonderful and then break it almost immediately. There is no place in the world without the taint of conflict.
March 12th, 2014 at 11:18 pm
Highly original. At least ILOVEYOU is amongst friends now…
March 17th, 2014 at 10:31 pm
Thank you, Sandra.
March 13th, 2014 at 3:32 am
Totally outside the box. Love it!
March 17th, 2014 at 10:30 pm
That’s the best kind of story, in my book.
March 13th, 2014 at 3:45 am
haha truly unique, David. i enjoyed this one a lot. 🙂
March 17th, 2014 at 10:29 pm
Thanks, KZ. (wow, it took me a long time to reply, didn’t it? 🙂 )
March 13th, 2014 at 4:05 am
No…they should not chase gangsters, poor chaps, everyone is after them…instruct the viruses to freshly press whomsoever you want to every week…me? happy with a massage.
March 13th, 2014 at 8:10 am
That would be an awesome virus. If I wrote the virus, you’d be freshly pressed at least once a month.
March 13th, 2014 at 5:08 am
😀 I love this, and I may have to send it to a friend.
March 17th, 2014 at 10:29 pm
🙂 Thanks. I should write a virus that automatically sends this story to everyone. That would be very meta.
March 13th, 2014 at 6:35 am
Ah. that was just great… poor misunderstood computer viruses.
March 17th, 2014 at 10:28 pm
That’s the great thing about fiction: we can make any monster seem misunderstood. Next week: the plight of the poor ebola virus. 🙂
March 13th, 2014 at 7:11 am
Clever and short! Appreciate both aspects. That and the tech-y tale
March 17th, 2014 at 10:27 pm
Those are definitely both good aspects for a blog story. 🙂
March 13th, 2014 at 7:30 am
This was good. Maybe I should forward a copy to the spammers who keep contacting me to tell me my inbox is full.
March 17th, 2014 at 10:26 pm
Yeah, infect them with good viruses, for a change. It’s been a one-way street for too long.
March 13th, 2014 at 8:53 am
David, this is infinitely clever! That final line… love it! (and this is coming from someone who is pretty clueless about this stuff).
March 17th, 2014 at 10:25 pm
Thanks, I’m glad you liked it. Sorry it took me so long to reply to your comment. It’s that sort of week, I’m afraid.
March 18th, 2014 at 12:05 am
No worries, David… I hear you!
March 13th, 2014 at 10:32 am
A creative take on the prompt, David. Cleverly done.
March 17th, 2014 at 10:24 pm
Thanks. 🙂
March 13th, 2014 at 1:48 pm
David, You hit close to home for me this week as my computer bit the dust a few days ago, and I’m now limping along by borrowing my spouse’s computer as much as possible. Fortunately for me, the ILOVEYOU worm wasn’t the culprit, just a bad power supply. Interesting take on the prompt. How long of a road will it be for a virus looking to change her character?
All my best,
MG
March 17th, 2014 at 10:24 pm
I don’t know how long it would take. On one hand, a lot of computing time is measured in nanoseconds. But then again, it might take quite a while for a virus to change its programming on its own.
March 13th, 2014 at 5:43 pm
Dear David,
I have to stop laughing so I can type. One of the most original stories I’ve read. Clever one.
Shalom,
Rochelle
March 13th, 2014 at 6:49 pm
Thanks, Rochelle. I never know what’ll come out when I sit down at the computer.
March 13th, 2014 at 6:14 pm
HaHa! Can a virus change it’s spots? 🙂
March 13th, 2014 at 6:48 pm
Probably not, but they can try. 🙂 It takes some serious self-reprogramming.
March 14th, 2014 at 12:46 am
Hi David,
Very inventive to write from the POV of a computer virus. You got the voice just right. Ron
March 17th, 2014 at 10:22 pm
I’m glad it worked. With a computer virus, it’s all guesswork what one might sound like.
March 14th, 2014 at 4:21 am
Lol…this dialogue is quite amusing.
March 17th, 2014 at 10:21 pm
🙂 Thanks.
March 14th, 2014 at 6:15 am
That brought a smile to my face.
March 14th, 2014 at 1:13 pm
Such a unique take, David. At least he sends it the Red Cross. That’s ok in my book Really funny.
March 17th, 2014 at 10:21 pm
Yeah, he had to do something worthwhile to make up for all his past misdeeds.
March 14th, 2014 at 4:43 pm
A novel take on the prompt that worked well and made me laugh 🙂
March 17th, 2014 at 10:20 pm
Thanks. 🙂 If it made you laugh, then it’s a success.
March 14th, 2014 at 9:31 pm
DAVID! Such a surprising and humorous little tale. I liked this a lot.
March 14th, 2014 at 9:37 pm
I aim to please. If you’re happy, I’m happy. 🙂
March 14th, 2014 at 9:34 pm
Hi David
I never thought I’d feel sorry for a computer virus!!!
Well done
Dee
March 14th, 2014 at 9:36 pm
This is the story my wife gets mad at me for, making her feel sorry for something reprehensible, like mosquitoes. 🙂 I’m sure MOST computer viruses are terrible though.
March 15th, 2014 at 3:09 am
That was funny and very clever.
March 15th, 2014 at 3:33 pm
that is a sweet virus for once! 🙂
March 17th, 2014 at 10:17 pm
As long as he stays on the straight and narrow and doesn’t mutate back to evil.
March 15th, 2014 at 6:14 pm
btw, what does your gravatar photo means?
March 15th, 2014 at 8:55 pm
It’s my initials in Greek. I was studying Greek in high school and adopted it as my symbol. It’s also the mark of my self-publishing printing house, Junction Road Press.
March 16th, 2014 at 2:19 am
lol,what a virus!I think it definitely has better prospects now that it is working hard and has friends 😉 Very creative take on the prompt David:-)
March 17th, 2014 at 10:16 pm
Thanks. 🙂 Maybe someday, when programs become sentient, this might be a reality.
March 19th, 2014 at 9:59 pm
True-who knows and it is so scary!
March 16th, 2014 at 6:13 am
such a unique take on the prompt,,,love the thought of a virus struggling to become something better. support group power! yay!
March 17th, 2014 at 10:15 pm
I guess you can call me an eternal optimist. There’s hope even for soulless programs designed for evil. 🙂
March 17th, 2014 at 10:08 pm
David, you made me chuckle out loud with this story. The conversation between Code Red and ILOVEYOU is so cute and totally hilarious. Indeed, poor little worm.
March 17th, 2014 at 10:12 pm
Some people might not thank me for making computer viruses empathetic, but it was fun. 🙂 Glad you liked it.
March 17th, 2014 at 10:14 pm
🙂
March 19th, 2014 at 1:30 pm
I Love You is right – everyone does hate him so now he switched sides. Now I can honestly say that I have met a computer virus I like! Nan
March 19th, 2014 at 1:55 pm
as long as he never, ever switches back, right? 🙂