The title is a terrible pun, I know. I just hope I’m the first one to make it this week.
copyright Adam Ickes
Ramning Evidence
My grandfather said it was a relic, that hideous taxidermist’s ram that sat in the corner and stared with unblinking eyes. He said he got it in Africa. He told the tale in great detail and I listened, worried, since it hadn’t been in his nursing home room the week before.
Finally, I stole it while he was sleeping. That night, I picked it apart. I found the hidden cameras inside, the listening devices. Armed with damning evidence, I threatened to sue the nursing home.
Turns out, my grandfather bought it online. He thought the nurses were stealing his books.
The Green-Walled Tower 
July 16th, 2014 at 6:00 pm
Well, you’re the man with the stolen evidence now 🙂
July 16th, 2014 at 6:51 pm
True, he’s just a common thief now, stealing from his poor grandfather. 🙂
July 16th, 2014 at 6:10 pm
Dear David,
I’ve given your title a polite, if not pained, groan. Yep, you’re the first. 😉 Grandpa’s a cagey old fox, eh. With a side of paranoia thrown in.
So, now that you’re this side of the globe, where are you writing from that you’re still so early?
As always, a good one.
shalom,
Rochelle
July 16th, 2014 at 6:40 pm
I’m in Kentucky now, so I got up at 4am today. 🙂 I missed being one of the first, now that I’ve lost my Korean time advantage. I won’t do it every week, but it was nice for old time’s sake. Speaking of which, you must get up pretty early as well, no?
July 16th, 2014 at 6:51 pm
I’ve been rising between 02:30 and 03:00 for sometime now. It started with an agent wanting me to make my novel longer. With a full time job I figured the best way was to get up 3 hours before having to leave for work. Being a morning person to begin with made it easy. I just crash between 19:00 and 20:00 (that’s 7:00 and 8:00pm for civilians).
After all that, the agent turned my novel down without reading much of it at all. At any rate I rarely need an alarm clock. My circadian rhythm’s pretty much set.
I hope being stateside is good for you.
July 16th, 2014 at 6:55 pm
Don’t worry I use military time too. 🙂 Wow, that is pretty early, but I can see the appeal. Still, I’d be exhausted by the time I had to go to work. I guess you get used to it. Sorry about the novel. Hopefully you can find another agent. I’m just about to start that process too for one of my novels, now that I have a moment of breathing space from moving. Being here is good…so far. I miss Korea but I adapt pretty easily. I just need a job now. 🙂
July 16th, 2014 at 7:01 pm
I kind of guessed you’d be familiar with the 24 hour clock. My husband is retired Navy so it’s second nature to me.
As for the agent, I do have one. I signed with Jeanie Loiacono a couple of years ago. She’s working hard to find a home for my novel. The process of finding one is daunting…the pitch and all. but now the burden of submission is off my shoulders.
Writers conferences are a great way to meet and find agents.
Best wishes on finding a job. You’re a teacher, right? Sending good thoughts and prayers your direction.
July 16th, 2014 at 7:13 pm
Thanks, Rochelle. I am an ESL teacher but despite the masses of applications I’ve put in, I haven’t even had one interview yet. I guess the right one just hasn’t come along yet. But in the meantime, I write. 🙂
July 16th, 2014 at 7:14 pm
😉
July 16th, 2014 at 6:20 pm
David, a clever take on the photo prompt. My dear departed father loved making puns, so I’m very tolerant of them.
July 16th, 2014 at 8:03 pm
Fantastic. I bet he felt quite sheepish after that
July 17th, 2014 at 5:41 am
Nice. 🙂 I’ll bet he did.
July 16th, 2014 at 8:13 pm
This happens a lot nowadays over here, hidden cameras in nursing homes. Great take on the prompt; killer of a title though, in the nicest possible way.
July 17th, 2014 at 5:41 am
Thanks, Sandra. 🙂
July 16th, 2014 at 9:17 pm
Grandad was one step ahead. Clever take.
July 17th, 2014 at 5:39 am
Next we’ll find out that the stuffed bear in the other corner of the room recorded the narrator stealing the ram too. 🙂
July 16th, 2014 at 9:24 pm
So were they stealing books, or was it something worse?
July 17th, 2014 at 5:38 am
I don’t know. Maybe after the narrator stole the ram, the grandfather couldn’t check the tapes to find out.
July 16th, 2014 at 9:37 pm
Dear David,
No one will dare use that title now. You’ve no doubt caused a lot of consternation among the herd.
Aloha,
Doug
July 17th, 2014 at 5:37 am
Doug, it’s amazing the range of ideas people come up with every week. I’m pretty sure we could have a thousand stories and still no overlap. Thanks for the comments.
-David
July 17th, 2014 at 12:33 am
David,
What a fine story! Looks like being stateside is agreeing with your muse.
I would recommend changing the title to “Ramming Evidence” just because the English teacher in me can’t stand a misspelling, and the pun would still stand strong.
The ending of your story this week is especially good. Nicely handled!
All my best,
Marie Gail
July 17th, 2014 at 5:35 am
You’re an English teacher too? That’s cool. Thanks for the comment. I can see why the title would bother you. I’ll think about changing it. 🙂
July 17th, 2014 at 6:24 am
Well–former and only at the college level because I refuse to teach kids who don’t want to learn. 🙂 But, yes, and I’ve spend many summers volunteering with ESL programs. Maybe someday I’ll go back to school and get properly certified, but for now, the volunteer work is fulfilling.
July 17th, 2014 at 1:25 am
Sad but funny twist, darling. Captured the mistrust and paranoia of the grandfather nicely.
July 17th, 2014 at 1:35 am
Clever title and story lol. Loved it.
July 17th, 2014 at 5:33 am
Thanks, I’m glad. 🙂
July 17th, 2014 at 4:16 am
Clever Grandad, at least he was taking control of the situation, whether there was really a problem there or not. I gather loss of control is one of the most difficult issues for people adapting to full time care. And of course, the story made me smile too
July 17th, 2014 at 5:32 am
Yes, I’m sure he’s a tough old man. You never can be too careful about those nurses. 🙂
July 17th, 2014 at 4:22 am
This is a great flip-flop with a slam-dunk ending! Nice.
July 17th, 2014 at 5:33 am
Thanks. 🙂
July 17th, 2014 at 5:35 am
Hilarious.
This brought to mind the stuffed fox that stared at my husband and me when we walked through an “open house” nearby. The house was occupied by a renter who thought of himself as an interior decorator. The realtor was not amused. When we walked back through the room, the fox had been buried by pillows. I couldn’t help but wonder what the fox thought about being hidden by a pillow den. Perhaps it was happier, perhaps not. Perhaps it liked startling visitors. I certainly felt uncomfortable, waiting for it to move or blink. It never crossed my mind that it could be a spying device. 😀
July 17th, 2014 at 5:44 am
Stuffed animals can be pretty creepy. That would have surprised me too. I’ll bet the fox like startling people. 🙂
July 17th, 2014 at 12:33 pm
Oh clever old granddad! You have to watch these cagy old guys. Nice one David 🙂
July 17th, 2014 at 12:55 pm
I really liked the title!
July 17th, 2014 at 4:05 pm
Now there’s a sharp turn I didn’t see coming. Can you be paranoid enough? 😕
July 17th, 2014 at 4:23 pm
This is a great story, David. Bet Granddad is furious with grandson.
July 17th, 2014 at 6:46 pm
Where can I get one of those rameras?
July 18th, 2014 at 4:49 am
Ramera, I like that. 🙂 I’m sure you can get anything on ebay.
July 17th, 2014 at 7:36 pm
David, Grandpa was on the case. Now his plan is foiled. Good story and humorous. Well written. I hope you find a job soon. 🙂 —Susan
July 17th, 2014 at 10:01 pm
Clever title and a clever story. Maybe they were stealing his books! I like Grandpa.
July 17th, 2014 at 10:39 pm
grandpa is smart.
July 18th, 2014 at 1:55 am
Ooops! That will be hard to replace without grandpa getting wise. 😉
Good one, David!
July 18th, 2014 at 6:57 am
Great story. I like the direction you too. and the great line: “Turns out, my grandfather bought it online. He thought the nurses were stealing his books.”
Where did he buy it,? I think the nurses are eating my food at Shady Acres.
Randy
July 18th, 2014 at 4:13 pm
Dear David, Great story and I enjoyed the spying on the nurses! Sometimes, if you see something that is odd – research it and a ram’s head is good as any! Nan 🙂
July 21st, 2014 at 9:15 am
Thanks, Nan. It never hurts to be inquisitive. 🙂
July 19th, 2014 at 8:54 am
David,
Glad to have you stateside. I’d be interested in what kind of books Grandpa had. They must have been good, or at least precious to him. I have confidence you will find the right job that’s a perfect fit. God has a way of putting people where He wants them to be.
July 21st, 2014 at 9:15 am
It’s probably all in his imaginations, but maybe he has some rare first editions that would be worth something on ebay.
I’m putting out tons of applications, but I’m trusting God for the right one. It’ll happen, in the right time.
July 20th, 2014 at 1:09 pm
Such a creative take, David. A good one! Books are important and worth the trouble. 🙂 I understand you’re in Kentucky now. I hope things are going well for you!
July 21st, 2014 at 9:13 am
Things are as well as can be, thanks. 🙂
July 21st, 2014 at 12:29 am
Hubby, the pun master of the family would approve of your title 😀 Enjoyed your imaginative interpretation as well David. Are you back in the US for good?
July 21st, 2014 at 9:12 am
I tend to make more puns than my wife too. She claims she hates them, but I keep making them anyway. 🙂 We’re back in the States for the foreseeable future, although it’s impossible to know what’ll happen eventually.
July 21st, 2014 at 1:52 am
Clever grandpa, clever Dave. 😉
July 21st, 2014 at 9:10 am
Thanks. That’ll be me someday, an ornery old man, suspicious of all the nurses. 🙂
July 21st, 2014 at 3:04 am
I’m guessing that what the secret camera picked up wasn’t book stealing, but something more sinister and awful, on the part of the nursing home staff. There is a massive ongoing scandal here in the UK about abuses to the elderly and disabled by nursing home staff. I don’t know if you intended your story to be topical. In any case, a unique take on the photo prompt.
July 21st, 2014 at 9:10 am
I didn’t intend it to be too close to the nightly news, although I do know of such cases of nursing home neglect and abuse, which is terrible. Hopefully the “ram-cam” didn’t pick up anything too sinister.
July 21st, 2014 at 1:47 pm
This is too good!
July 23rd, 2014 at 1:32 am
Great piece in reply to the FF prompt.
I love the unusual twists.
This has to be one of the most fascinating prompt reply segments happening — it’s been such a treat to read what others are posting, and your offering is equally fascinating. 🙂
July 29th, 2014 at 3:09 pm
Smart, calculative grandpa. interesting read indeed:)