Today I have a double feature for you. I only wrote one though: the other story is by a guest blogger, author Sheila Stewart, who is also my sister. She wrote a Friday Fictioneer story but doesn’t have a blog so I said I would post it for her. Our two stories go together but could also be taken separately.
copyright Bjorn Rudberg
Home, Sweet Home (Part 1)
by Sheila Stewart
I found a body on my back deck today. It wasn’t the oddest thing I’d found back there, but it was a bit annoying. Bodies stink and leak. At least I could use the old clothes and blankets people tossed down. I could mend the broken furniture and decorate with sculptures made from various odds and ends I couldn’t figure out what else to do with.
I’m not sure how people got the idea that my house was a garbage dump, but I’m not complaining.
Not usually anyway.
Except now I need to go bury the body with the others.
Home, Sweet Home (Part 2)
by David Stewart
“I just love this to death,” Alice gushed at the hot real estate agent. “The view, the veranda: it’s perfect.”
Chris rolled his eyes. “It’s a bit pricey and this slope looks prone to avalanches. Plus, what’s this MCMG at the bottom of the paperwork?”
“Legal mumbo-jumbo,” the agent said quickly, flashing a grin. “You wanna see the jacuzzi?”
Alice was slightly concerned three months later when she dug up a tibia in the garden, but after she found two skulls, Chris studied the title. On the last page, in 4-point font was the note:
MCMG: May Contain Mass Grave.
The Green-Walled Tower 
August 8th, 2014 at 5:44 am
haha Really like the last line on the second one. Both of these are nicely done.
August 13th, 2014 at 12:24 am
Thanks. 🙂
August 13th, 2014 at 12:35 am
(-: You’re welcome. They’re well written. I hope I do as well in my writing.
August 8th, 2014 at 5:54 am
The last line in both are fantastic. Nice to know the Stewart family have the same literary humour.
August 8th, 2014 at 6:07 am
Thanks, Al. We write in the same vein, I’m sure. 🙂
August 8th, 2014 at 7:21 am
It certainly seems that way. Does she have her own blog?
August 8th, 2014 at 8:49 am
No, although I’m trying to get her to start one.
August 8th, 2014 at 8:53 am
Let us know if she does and I’ll be there straight away
August 10th, 2014 at 1:25 pm
Um… You write in the same vein, do you? Is that supposed to be a pun? Excellent writing from you both!
August 8th, 2014 at 7:55 am
Dear David and Sheila,
Sheila, welcome to Friday Fictioneers through your brother. I hope you’ll start a blog and become a regular. Meanwhile I’ll be looking for your MC on an upcoming episode of Hoarders.
David, it’s always a good idea to read the fine print. Alice needs to really look at the house and not the hot agent. Nicely done and nice to know it runs in the family.
shalom,
August 8th, 2014 at 8:50 am
Thank you, Rochelle. I’ll try to get her to write more in the future.
August 8th, 2014 at 12:50 pm
4-point font lol that was hilarious. 🙂 i definitely enjoyed reading both stories.
August 9th, 2014 at 1:00 pm
Thanks, KZ. Glad you liked them.
August 8th, 2014 at 3:04 pm
fantastic story Sheila, David. Both are great. David- well I wonder what happened after he read the full form of MCMG… creepy!
August 13th, 2014 at 12:25 am
Well, based on Sheila’s story, who knows how many people are buried there. It could be pretty bad.
August 8th, 2014 at 5:53 pm
First Sheila — hope you get a blog soon.. I love that tone – just another body dumped, a little more annoying than other garbage but why else should you have a graveyard? ..
David – yours had that perfect twist at the end.. and also the relaxed tone.. if it had just been a tibia.. but skulls — that’s the limit.
August 9th, 2014 at 12:59 pm
Yes, well unless you’re an anatomist, you could convince yourself a bone is from an animal. Not so much a skull though.
August 8th, 2014 at 6:20 pm
Both great stories, dark humor runs in the family, no?
August 9th, 2014 at 12:58 pm
Thank you, and yes, I think dark humor must run in our family. 🙂
August 8th, 2014 at 11:05 pm
Two fantastic tales here, David and Sheila. I’m going to chime in with the general consensus here and insist that Sheila indeed needs to start a blog of her own. When she does, I’ll be the first in line to follow her.
Cheers!
Marie Gail
August 9th, 2014 at 12:56 pm
I’ll try to get her to. She’s a great writer so I’d like to read more of her stuff too.
August 8th, 2014 at 11:40 pm
Well, hello, Stewart Family!
What a treat you gave us this week, Dave, to invite Sister Sheila to write.
Hi, Sheila! It’s very nice to have you here. I just want to say your story shows you have the knack for writing. Very concise and entertaining. You never know what’s in people’s houses these days.
Dave, a very good story here, too. I love that MCMG. What a hoot!
Get that sister of yours to start a-blogging. She can start with ours.
Nice work this week, you two.
Kent
August 9th, 2014 at 12:56 pm
Thanks, Kent. I’ll pass it on to her. Hopefully she’ll join us again sometime.
August 9th, 2014 at 2:53 am
Great idea! I love that your sister joined in. I like how you showed two different POVs. Nice duo writing. I’ll be sure to look out for the MCMG warning. Can you imagine?!
August 9th, 2014 at 12:55 pm
Thanks, Amy. Maybe I’ll convince her to do it again sometime. She’s quite a prolific author but hasn’t written much lately.
Ugh, I’d rather not imagine finding a mass grave. That would be quite the shock to find on your new dream home.
August 9th, 2014 at 4:39 am
I like both stories, you guys made a great pair!
August 13th, 2014 at 12:26 am
Thanks Elizabeth. 🙂
August 9th, 2014 at 5:17 am
Very amusing! The two stories do go very well together, and I feel like I got more for my money. (Or I would if I was spending any…) 🙂
August 9th, 2014 at 12:53 pm
Well, when you get something for free, it’s nice to get your money’s worth. 🙂
August 9th, 2014 at 5:53 am
Both are good, but Sheila’s packs an extra punch! And you are both sick …
August 9th, 2014 at 12:53 pm
Yeah, I liked hers better. And yes, we probably are. 🙂
August 9th, 2014 at 10:04 pm
I agree with everyone else, Sheila should do more writing. I loved the contrast between the two voices in these stories. Definitely worth reading!
And as their mother, I want to add that they are both wonderful people, no matter what kind of stories they write.
August 13th, 2014 at 12:27 am
We’ll have to write less morbid ones next time, just for you. 🙂
August 10th, 2014 at 9:29 am
Hey everybody! Thank you! It was fun to write. Life is crazy, crazy these days, but hopefully in the fall they’ll stabilize some. In the meantime, I’ll think on that blog idea 🙂
August 10th, 2014 at 12:17 pm
Or just keep piggybacking off mine for a while. It’s all good.
August 11th, 2014 at 11:40 am
Dear Sheila, Lovely story – too bad there is another body to have to bury! I like your story! Nan 🙂
August 11th, 2014 at 11:43 am
Dear David, MCMG – May Contain Mass Grave – oh wow – that will help people sleep at night. So bed and breakfast is out of the question for a business in the countryside. By the way, your mother should be very proud of you and your sister Sheila. You are both so talented! Nan 🙂
August 13th, 2014 at 12:28 am
That would be a bit off-putting, although I’m sure there is a certain group who would go there especially if there were a mass grave there. Some people go to houses just because they’re haunted.
August 11th, 2014 at 8:36 pm
David & Sheila, Both were good stories and very creative. That mass grave reminds me a bit of the movie “Poltergeist” where the houses were built over a graveyard. That’s not a good thing. Also people dumping bodies is a bad sign. Creepy
A bit of dark humor there. Both were well written. 🙂 —Susan
August 13th, 2014 at 12:42 am
Thanks, Susan. I did wonder in Sheila’s story why they kept dumping bodies there. Maybe they’re all from mob hits or something.
August 12th, 2014 at 1:38 am
Talent seems to run in the family…now please don’t think I’m nuttier than you already do, but I love the word tibia…great name for a goth character…and in New York there are so many places built over various potters fields…NYU, where the Washington arch is, rests upon a huge one, and every once in a whlle Con Edison will discover a bone or two…a tibia even. A girl can dream…hats off to Sis…
August 13th, 2014 at 12:44 am
Tibia is a great word. I could see a spunky young female character name Tibia Mcalister or something.
August 12th, 2014 at 2:11 am
Liked both of these and the way they linked together – was that coincidence, the genes working telepathically? Welcome Sheila – hope to see more of your work.
It’s fine print like that gives estate agents a bad name.
August 12th, 2014 at 2:39 am
No, it wasn’t coincidence. I read her story first and then wrote one from it, but they did go together well.
August 12th, 2014 at 7:28 am
This is a great chapter one/chapter two story. Lovely that you collaborated.
August 13th, 2014 at 12:23 am
Thanks. 🙂 It was fun to do with her.
August 12th, 2014 at 11:51 am
Oh! so THAT’s what that means!
August 13th, 2014 at 1:10 am
🙂 It’s buried somewhere in a real estate glossary, I’m sure.
August 12th, 2014 at 7:33 pm
Brilliant David, absolutely loved them both.
Your sister needs a blog, she would be a great Fictioneer (well done Sheila)
Dee
August 13th, 2014 at 12:20 am
Thanks, Dee. I hope she does get a blog, although she’s kind of busy these days. She’s a great writer.