Acid Rain! Now in Different Colors!

Acid Rain!

I pulled back the shower curtain after my shower and saw a group of people in blue raincoats crowded in front of me, holding up cell phones and cameras. I was shocked for a moment, then nodded smugly, remembering my new LSD-laced shampoo: Acid Rain! I didn’t think the hallucinations would be so specific though. The ceiling wasn’t melting or anything.

“Can we ask you a few questions?” one of them asked.

“I can’t hear you,” I said, combing my hair. “You’re just a product of double lathering.”

“Actually,” one said, “we’re part of a focus group on the drug-related merchandise you’ve recently bought.”

“You’re not hallucinations?” I asked.


“You’re real people?”


“So, I should put a towel on?”

“Please!” they all said, in unison, like they’d been practicing.

“Now, you have questions?”

They all pulled out clipboards. “How’s the shampoo?”

I shrugged. “No dandruff. Pleasing smell. The morning is a magical time.”

“Have you been eating your Weedies?”

“Every morning!” I said brightly.

“And how is your new Honda Ecstasy?”

“Great gas mileage!” I said, “and I always get to work happy.”

“Excellent.” They all scribbled notes assiduously. “Now, we’d like your ideas for other things.”

“Well, maybe some sort of heroin bicycle?”

There was a shocked silence. “Heroin?” one said. “At OmniDrugCo, we’re trying to make the world a better place. We’re not monsters. Now take your free sample of meth and have a nice day!”

About David Stewart

I am a writer of anything quirky and weird. I love most genres of fiction and in each there are stories that I would consider "my kind of story". View all posts by David Stewart

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