A couple things before the story:
First of all, I’ve just launched a t-shirt line called Fiction T’s, which have some of the Green-Walled Tower’s best flash fiction on the back. There are a few Friday Fictioneers stories among them as well. Check out the store here, or click on this link to see the post about them. Reblog or share that post before next Wednesday and I will enter you to win one of the shirts.
Second, last weekend I took a trip down to Kansas City and met with Rochelle Wisoff-Fields and Marie Gail Stratford. It was a great chance to chat about writing and other random things. Hopefully I can get the chance to meet other Fictioneers down the road sometime.
Now, on with the story. I waffled a lot on this picture before settling on this story. Click the links if you don’t get the references.
copyright Santoshwriter
Ad-dicted
“I did the Dew.” His hands trembled. “Nike made me. ‘Just do it,’ they kept whispering.
“Volkswagen told me to Think Small, so I sold my house and lived in a cardboard box. IMAX told me to Think Big, so now I live in a refrigerator box. I only eat McDonald’s hamburgers.”
“Because you’re loving it?”
He nodded. “I ate 82 yesterday.”
“That’s impossible.”
“Impossible is nothing.” He shuddered. “I need help.”
“I might not be the best one for that,” I said, producing a brochure. “But if you get a car again, remember: you’re in good hands with Allstate.”
The Green-Walled Tower 
May 20th, 2015 at 1:41 pm
Oh, you are brilliant, David!!! Great work. I could see this one in a t-shirt for sure. I’m running mobile for the most part today, but I’ll be sure to share your links later.
I’ll raise a bottle of rootbeer to Fictioneer friendships old and new!
All my best,
MG
May 21st, 2015 at 10:41 pm
Thanks so much, MG. I’m glad you like it and I take your opinion seriously. I’ll consider it for inclusion in the Fiction Ts catalog later (although there might be some copyright issues, hehe)
May 21st, 2015 at 11:19 pm
There might be trademark issues, but there shouldn’t be copyright issues as the story falls under “fair use” as satire. As to whether or not there might be trademark issues–I know a great attorney who does a lot of pro bono work for authors. He would probably be happy to advise you one way or another. Want me to provide an email introduction?
May 23rd, 2015 at 9:12 pm
sure. Thanks, MG!
May 20th, 2015 at 1:42 pm
This is great. Love it. This one belongs on one of your Fiction T’s! Maybe you could get these companies to kick in some money for you. Not a bad idea, right?! That’s great you got to visit Rochelle and Marie Gail. I love to see these meet-ups!
May 21st, 2015 at 10:39 pm
I hadn’t connected the story with the T-shirts, but yes, maybe they could sponsor me. That might undercut the message of the story, of course. 🙂
May 21st, 2015 at 10:41 pm
You know best! 🙂
May 20th, 2015 at 2:34 pm
You just virtualised my personal nightmare. Thank you. Good to see you meeting up with other FF’ers.
May 21st, 2015 at 10:34 pm
This sort of thing is subtle, I think, considering how much we are, or can be, surrounded by advertising. Hopefully it never gets this bad for anyone. 🙂
May 20th, 2015 at 4:12 pm
Interesting adverstising take on the prompt. Good luck with the T-shirts and Nice to see you with fellow Friday Fictioneers.
May 21st, 2015 at 10:31 pm
Thank you! 🙂
May 20th, 2015 at 4:15 pm
Love this! What a great and original take on the prompt. Brilliant! 🙂
May 21st, 2015 at 10:28 pm
Thanks! Glad you liked it.
May 20th, 2015 at 4:18 pm
Fabulous t-shirts. Good luck with them.
May 21st, 2015 at 10:27 pm
Thanks! I hope it goes well too.
May 20th, 2015 at 4:56 pm
This is brilliant, and a very creative take on the prompt! There are so many silly slogans seeking to distract us.
May 21st, 2015 at 10:24 pm
Thank you so much, Francesca. It was fun to write.
May 20th, 2015 at 6:22 pm
Nice “gathering” of slogans. Sadly (or not), I recognized them all.
May 21st, 2015 at 10:18 pm
Thanks. I think all of these, or most, enter the consciousness through cultural osmosis, if nothing else. It’s hard to get away from the likes of McDonald’s and Nike, at least.
May 21st, 2015 at 12:53 am
ouch! not a good help at all!
May 21st, 2015 at 10:15 pm
Hehe, nope, not really. Like asking a drug dealer for help quitting.
May 21st, 2015 at 3:31 am
Dear David,
I think we need a Friday Fictioneers T-Shirt. It would have to be purple of course.
Your story is hilarious. You had me at “doing the Dew.” I knew I was in for it then so I left the driving to you. 😉
It was great meeting you and Leah. I love meeting other Fictioneers. I had a great time but it was too short. I hope we’ll meet again sometime in the not too distant future.
Shalom,
Rochelle
May 21st, 2015 at 10:15 pm
We could organize a Fictioneer retreat, and then pass out the t-shirts there. 🙂 Of course, we’re so far-flung that it might be hard, but it would be still cool to do a regional one, to get together, do group writing challenges… I don’t know, but it’s an idea.
May 21st, 2015 at 4:19 am
I love the thought of a t-shirt.. probably it would sell way better than books. To use those corporate slogans was a great idea, Just gives me ideas… Maybe the failed slogans would be even funnier..:-)
May 21st, 2015 at 10:13 pm
I’m hoping they sell, although the price is much different than a book. I’d like to right a story about failed slogans, or one where the slogans and the products get mixed up…
May 21st, 2015 at 8:47 am
Loved it!
May 21st, 2015 at 10:05 pm
Thanks, M4E. Actually, ,these days I can mostly stay away from commercials and it’s so nice. 🙂
May 21st, 2015 at 9:19 pm
That’s cool about the t-shirt and an even cooler way to line up sponsors.
May 21st, 2015 at 10:04 pm
Thanks, Dawn. We’ll see how it turns out. I’m hoping to sell some, at least.
May 22nd, 2015 at 5:48 am
I’m still trying to teach the world to sing. I keep telling them it’s the real thing, but they won’t listen. Perhaps if I brought in some cute puppies or Clydesdales I could get their attention–or boobs–that always works.
Loved it, David. Nothing like a good poke at corporate ad men.
May 23rd, 2015 at 9:10 pm
Thanks, Russell. Boobs are always a winning combination, although cute puppies work well too. I’ll let you write the story with those themes.
May 22nd, 2015 at 10:59 am
Nice take on the prompt. Good luck with the t-shirts.
May 23rd, 2015 at 9:08 pm
Thanks, Sheila. 🙂
May 22nd, 2015 at 12:27 pm
This is great. The world would be a madhouse (well… even more so) if everyone took these slogans seriously.
May 23rd, 2015 at 9:08 pm
Yeah, really. This isn’t even what the advertisers want either. They just want you to buy stuff. 🙂
May 24th, 2015 at 9:49 am
Interesting and clever take on the prompt! And good luck with that new t-shirt line. What a fantastic idea!
May 24th, 2015 at 1:52 pm
Thanks Miss Tiffany. Glad you liked it. 🙂
May 26th, 2015 at 5:53 am
Really creative story David. That took a lot of work. Great picture of you with Rochelle and Marie Gail. 🙂 — Suzanne
May 27th, 2015 at 11:45 pm
Thanks, Suzanne. I appreciate it.
May 26th, 2015 at 2:55 pm
Slaves to the slogans; long live the brands.
Good to put face to name.
May 27th, 2015 at 11:45 pm
Thanks, Patrick. I should start using my picture for my icon, I guess.
May 27th, 2015 at 1:32 am
Reblogged this on Check Out Our Books and commented:
it is a super cool idea!