Note: this story is not political, only silly.
Busting out Putin
What does Vladimir Putin eat? That was the topic of debate after my friend Antonio got his new batch of miniature clones (or mi-clo’s) in the mail from Thailand.
All the others were eating. Antonio squatted over the holding pen’s grated top, rolled up a pancake and pushed it through the bars. Mi-clo Mother Theresa and Pierre Trudeau ran and snatched it up. Putin didn’t move, just shook his Lilliputian fist at us and jabbered away in Thai (a sure sign of a knock-off).
“Do you think he only eats Russian food?” Antonio asked.
“You’d have better luck with pad thai, probably,” I said.
“Well, I only know how to make pancakes,” Antonio said. “He can eat them or starve, I guess. I only got him because he came free with the Freddy Mercury I wanted.”
Over the next few days, Putin still refused to eat. He was getting thinner and his 1-foot tall frame soon looked bony. I was getting worried but Antonio only shrugged.
Finally, I decided to get him out of there. The next day, when Antonio went to the bathroom, I lowered a rope down. Putin grabbed it but was too weak to hold on. I unlatched the door and dropped down into the pen.
Bad move. Tony Blair and Cher jumped at me but I shook them off. I seized Putin and jumped out of danger right before the rest of them swarmed to attack me.
“Let’s go get you some food,” I said. “You like tacos? Burgers?”
He said something I couldn’t understand but it didn’t sound like either tacos or burgers. “Let’s try tacos,” I said and ran for the door.
I didn’t know what we’d eat and I didn’t know how this would end, but I was certain that I was going to save this little guy if I possibly could.
Epilogue: Putin turned out to love Popeye’s spicy chicken sandwiches. He soon returned to health and is now living happily in an abandoned dog house in the woods behind Walmart.
August 30th, 2015 at 6:58 pm
That is awesome 😀 I love it
August 30th, 2015 at 7:10 pm
Thanks. That’s what I saw when I looked at the picture. 🙂
August 30th, 2015 at 7:21 pm
That is splendidly, deliciously silly. I don’t know how you saw that when you looked at the picture, but I love the way your mind works. “A sure sign of a knock-off” –oh that cracked me up. Because he came free with the Freddie Mercury — yes, of course, that makes perfect sense to me.
August 30th, 2015 at 7:24 pm
Yes, absurd juxtaposition is always a winner. 🙂 Thanks.
August 30th, 2015 at 7:28 pm
Loved it! And Putin sends his thank yous to you. (I think…):)
August 30th, 2015 at 7:29 pm
Maybe someone will forward him the story. 🙂
August 30th, 2015 at 9:51 pm
Soooo funny. I loved your humor and sarcasm.:)
August 30th, 2015 at 11:05 pm
Thanks Susan. 🙂
August 31st, 2015 at 3:30 am
August 31st, 2015 at 7:21 am
Remember the end of the Radioactive video? That’s what I imagined happening after climbing down into the pit of rabid Muppets.
Excellent and twisted tale.
September 3rd, 2015 at 9:18 pm
Hmm, that’s true. Maybe it would be like that. They’re little but when they gang up on you…
August 31st, 2015 at 6:08 pm
A very twisted and entertaining tale indeed.
September 3rd, 2015 at 9:15 pm
🙂 Thanks, Francesca.
August 31st, 2015 at 7:45 pm
Haha! This is awesome. What a brilliant and imaginative idea. I’m jealous. I wish I’d thought of something like this. I’m still smiling as a I write this note. Great one!
September 3rd, 2015 at 9:14 pm
I’m glad you appreciate the truly bizarre. 🙂