Well, for the first time in quite a while, I’m actually posting this on Wednesday. Despite this being exam week, I’m actually not as busy as I have been in the past few months.
A bomb exploded. Amna saw the orange death-flower blossom a mile away.
She ran water for dishes—
A helicopter thundered overhead.
rinsed a plate—
An angry line streaked from the ground.
washed the cutlery.
The helicopter exploded.
She refused to hide. This had been her home for her whole life.
Somewhere nearby, she heard the rattle of rifle fire.
They won’t change me, she thought savagely. They won’t win!
Her favorite cup, which she had been gripping unconsciously, shattered. She stared down at the blood dripping into the dishwater and realized, suddenly, that nothing would ever be the same again.
December 16th, 2015 at 7:46 pm
December 16th, 2015 at 11:33 pm
Yeah, kind of. I thought of it when I read an interview with my Syrian student, talking about living in Damascus and watching bombings from his roof.
December 17th, 2015 at 1:11 am
December 17th, 2015 at 1:30 am
December 17th, 2015 at 1:51 am
Powerful is indeed the word that springs to mind. Well done, David. Stunner!
January 3rd, 2016 at 2:29 pm
Thank you, Sandra. That is high praise.
December 17th, 2015 at 4:17 am
Great story. Good luck with exams.
December 17th, 2015 at 9:07 am
You’ve arranged this story very neatly, and the imagery is powerful.
January 3rd, 2016 at 2:28 pm
December 17th, 2015 at 9:07 am
No matter how tight we hold onto the past things change. Powerful and poetically dark.
January 3rd, 2016 at 2:11 pm
Thank you, Rochelle. It is hard to imagine the surreality of looking out your window and seeing a war in the distance. (Sorry it took so long to respond; that’s the holidays for you.)
December 17th, 2015 at 10:24 am
I think your reference to a Syrian student brings this story into out lives in a most realistic way – we forget about that side of war and conflict – the impact on the non-combatants.
January 3rd, 2016 at 2:10 pm
Yes, my whole perspective on that conflict has changed because of knowing him. It makes it all much more real.
December 17th, 2015 at 10:44 am
I like the balance of the narrative, right to left. It is unusual and powerful.
January 3rd, 2016 at 2:09 pm
Thanks, Allan. It seemed like a good way to separate what was outside and what was inside, the chaotic and the mundane side by side.
December 17th, 2015 at 2:39 pm
I’ll echo what’s been said, David. Very powerful and dark story. You captured that split moment very well when you know things have changed forever. Great job.
January 3rd, 2016 at 2:08 pm
Thanks Amy, and sorry it took so long to reply to your comment. I hope you’re holidays were good. I, for one, am looking forward to getting back into a routine of sorts.
January 3rd, 2016 at 3:14 pm
Me too! I’m ready for routine again. Happy New Year, David!
December 18th, 2015 at 2:22 pm
This is a powerful piece. Well written.
January 3rd, 2016 at 2:07 pm
December 18th, 2015 at 5:02 pm
Haunting, real, and poignant. Loved it!
December 19th, 2015 at 5:14 am
Great images here. The shattered cup with the blood – a fitting symbol for the changed reality.
December 19th, 2015 at 8:47 am
This is really really good.. That shattered cup really was what was needed. I wonder how it is being inside a war like this..
December 20th, 2015 at 6:31 pm
A scary echo of reality.
December 21st, 2015 at 9:21 am
A bit different for you, Patrick, but a good story with great description. This fits in with the newspaper and TV stories we hear these days. Well done. —- Suzanne
December 22nd, 2015 at 9:45 am
I can’t believe I made that mistake, David. I must have been half asleep. Sorry about that. The rest was okay. Well done. —- Suzanne
December 24th, 2015 at 3:46 pm
No problem. 🙂 Thanks for the comment.