Copyright The Reclining Gentleman
Frankie’s makes the best daffodil steaks. I go down there Sundays and get a 16-ouncer.
“That’s murder, you know,” a guy nearby said as I finished my meal, wiping canary-colored juice from my lips.
“Hey, I’m eating here.”
“They have feelings. All flowers do. I hear them cry at night, mourning their lost brothers.”
Wordlessly I got up and paid by retinal scan, winking to add a tip.
As I drove home past fields of towering daffodils, I rolled down my window. Maybe it was the wind, but I thought I heard weeping.
I rolled the window quickly back up.
The Green-Walled Tower 
February 11th, 2016 at 8:34 pm
Poor daffodils! Now that he has heard from them, I wonder if he will continue to enjoy those saffodil steaks.
February 11th, 2016 at 8:41 pm
Who know? I’ll leave it up to you what is happening, whether it’s just his guilty conscience or if they are really suffering.
February 11th, 2016 at 8:50 pm
Pretty sure he’s suffering a mild delusion there. But now I’m curious about how daffodil steaks taste. ☺
February 11th, 2016 at 9:45 pm
He could very well be suffering from some sort of delusion or has a guilty conscience. I’m sure in a world where daffodils grow this big, they could make them taste like anything. How would you want yours to taste?
February 11th, 2016 at 9:43 pm
Wow, that’s an interesting take. How many daffodils does it take to make a steak? Wouldn’t Rose steaks taste better? What about Honeysuckle? Fascinating idea. I liked it.
February 11th, 2016 at 9:44 pm
Well, in this world or time, the daffodils are huge, so I’m thinking maybe one petal per steak or so. I have no idea. 🙂
February 12th, 2016 at 8:53 am
Wow! That’s a big flower. Maybe that’s why they achieved sentience and that’s why they cry. A really imaginative piece, David. Thumbs up.
February 12th, 2016 at 2:33 am
A local Polish market sells rose-flavored paczkis(jelly-filled donuts). I’ve never had the nerve to try one. If this is how it sounds when doves cry, I don’t want to hear roses. 😉
February 12th, 2016 at 9:03 am
I know, right? Probably sounds like Angels singing their death song. I couldn’t eat a donut if that was the cost. 😉
February 13th, 2016 at 10:30 pm
First they attacked the furriers as murderers; next the florists. 🙂
February 14th, 2016 at 2:35 am
🙄
February 11th, 2016 at 10:15 pm
If I heard the daffodils weep, I’m sure I couldn’t eat them. I just couldn’t bear that! I would prefer daffodils to bugs, however. I heard they really could be a thing. Crickets with lime and chile sauce. Pass those daffodils, would you?
February 13th, 2016 at 10:32 pm
I’ve had fried crickets before. Once you get past the legs, they’re pretty much like popcorn. Now let me tell you about tarantula I had in Cambodia… 🙂 Let the flowers cry, eh? At least they don’t have multiple legs.
February 12th, 2016 at 5:29 am
It pains my heart to think of all the plants vegans kill each day. I’ve seen they take large knives and lop off a head of lettuce, pluck the ears from corn, and pickle the hearts of artichokes. It’s murder, I tell you.
February 13th, 2016 at 10:29 pm
Not to mention the eyes they callously gouge out of potatoes. There’s nothing sadder than a blind potato, begging on the side of the road to earn money for its little tater tots back home.
February 12th, 2016 at 6:17 am
Hmm? what do you eat once you can no longer be a vegan?
February 13th, 2016 at 10:27 pm
I was debating that. Maybe you flip it and only meat, killing dumb animals being more preferable to sentient flowers. Of course, by this time, maybe there are replicators that would solve lots of ethical dilemmas.
February 12th, 2016 at 11:07 am
As someone who’s never had fresh lobster, I empathise with your character. And I want some of whatever you’re on… I was grinning even at the title.
February 13th, 2016 at 10:23 pm
Thanks, Sandra. Hmm, what am I on? Not sure, but all I can say is after I’ve been driving along Bizarre Avenue for a while, passing Sappy Street and Horror Road, ever so often I feel the urge to make a sharp right hand turn onto WTF Lane. (how’s that for a convoluted metaphor?) 🙂
February 12th, 2016 at 3:11 pm
I echo Sandra!
February 13th, 2016 at 10:24 pm
🙂 In terms of what I’m on, I’ll let you know when I know.
February 13th, 2016 at 11:20 pm
Please do!!
February 12th, 2016 at 4:35 pm
And as revenge, they overcame the genetic engeneering and sneaked somw poisonous bulbs back in. Serves the customers right that they now have upset stomachs and feel dizzy. I love this, a nice satire on our never-sated tastes for new and exotic delicacies.
February 13th, 2016 at 10:19 pm
Next week will be a horror story with the same theme: “They Came from the Flower Patch” 🙂
February 14th, 2016 at 11:07 am
A remake of the pod people? 😉
February 15th, 2016 at 2:08 am
Very clever. I like the voices, and the story is nicely ironic.
February 17th, 2016 at 7:00 pm
Thanks, Margaret.
February 15th, 2016 at 4:21 pm
Winking to add a tip..that cracked me up!
February 17th, 2016 at 7:00 pm
Yeah, I liked that little detail too. 🙂
February 15th, 2016 at 5:04 pm
Dear David,
You and your imagination never cease to amaze me. But wait…trolling through the comments. You ate a tarantula???? Pass the daffodil steak with a side of daisy sauce.
Shalom,
Rochelle
February 17th, 2016 at 7:00 pm
Thanks, Rochelle. Actually, it was pretty heavily fried, so it just tasted crunchy. My cousin and I are both adventurous, so when in Siem Reap… I’ll send you some daffodil steaks in the mail instead. You think if I just write “Rochelle, KC” on the box, they’ll get to you?
February 18th, 2016 at 5:20 am
Ha! I’ve been saying it for years. People will eat anything as long as it’s fried. A few years back a friend and I thought about marketing deep fried air.
Of course I’m the only Rochelle in the KC area. No problem. 😉
Are you and Leah perchance swinging this way again? We were just through Iowa, but the operative there is ‘through’ on the way to and from Minneapolis.
March 3rd, 2016 at 9:27 pm
I’m not sure if we’ll be coming down there any time soon, although I’ll be down there for a conference at the Marriot downtown on the weekend of October 1st. We can meet up for a meal if you’re in the area and free.
February 15th, 2016 at 6:19 pm
Oh wow… what a great story… love the twist on the prompt!
February 17th, 2016 at 6:58 pm
Thanks, Lori. Sometimes, I just like to write very bizarre things.
February 18th, 2016 at 11:49 am
My pleasure, David… I do too.. quite often in fact… lol
February 16th, 2016 at 6:58 am
Ha, the winking was a hoot! 🙂 I feel for the daffodils David. Shall be rooting the avenging army from the flower patch…..
February 17th, 2016 at 6:57 pm
Maybe that will be the next one. If I ever write a story about a flower feeling bad for eating a human steak, you’ll know what happened. 🙂
February 16th, 2016 at 7:38 am
Good story, David. I gathered it was a future story from the retinal scan. They have rose-flavored desserts here in India. They’re delicious. I wonder if a daffodil that large causes hallucinations. I’d really wonder if I heard flowers crying after eating one. Well done. 🙂 — Suzanne
February 17th, 2016 at 6:53 pm
Thanks, Suzanne. Yes, I put in that detail to show that it was somewhat futuristic. Science fiction lowers the level of disbelief in this type of story, I find.
February 16th, 2016 at 12:07 pm
In a world where daffodils were big enough to eat as steaks, I’d be seriously worried about upsetting them!
February 17th, 2016 at 6:39 pm
Yeah, no kidding. Hopefully they aren’t pollinated by proportionately sized bees. 🙂
April 2nd, 2016 at 11:11 am
wow!