The Legend of Arthur King
“Good evening, and welcome to the BBC News at Six. He calls himself the reincarnation of the legendary king of the Britons, but his passport says Arthur King. Mr. King is on a quest to rid the country of what he calls ‘invaders and filthy foreigners.’ He was recently arrested after threatening to ‘blow up Essex’. Our history correspondent Alastair Forbington interviewed him today.”
The picture shifts to an inmate in Belmarsh Prison.
“It’s disgusting, you know, the way these foreigners are taking over everything. When I was king, Briton was ruled by the true British. Not like now. Now, the Anglo-Saxon horde has so completely overrun our fair island that you can’t throw a stone without hitting one of them. They’ve even gotten into our place names. Essex? That’s just ‘East Saxon’. England? That means ‘Angle-land’. And the sad thing is, we just let it happen, little by little. Starting right now, I’m calling for a crusade against these foreign devils. All true Britons come meet me in Gwynedd and slowly, we will take back our country.”
“I see. So you are declaring war on every last man, woman, and child on Great Britain, including yourself?”
“If that’s what it takes. One more thing, we need to stop using this barbarous ‘Angle-ish’ language. From now on, it’s Brittonic or nothing.”
February 29th, 2016 at 6:50 am
I think he’s a bit of a fruit-loop lol. I like the take on the image. When they said Arthur would come back in our time of need, they didn’t say he would be completely same 😉
Good story Dave.
March 3rd, 2016 at 9:19 pm
Thanks. 🙂 I think if he did come back, he’d never get elected now.
February 29th, 2016 at 9:33 am
Fortunately for Mr King, most of Scotland lies outwith his remit.
And I am not sure anyone who wants to blow up Essex is all bad, or mad.
March 3rd, 2016 at 9:18 pm
I’m sure Wales would try to say they are outside as well, although you’d know better than me. Of course, he’d probably want away with Wessex and Sussex too. Hmm, which of those is the best?
March 1st, 2016 at 3:34 am
Now this is an interesting theme – I’m sure that at some time or other all our modern nations were probably inhabited by some other native group … in the U.S. each earlier wave of immigrants detest and would like to evict the next wave … conveniently forgetting that they indeed were once the invaders.
March 1st, 2016 at 9:06 pm
I think it shows that most nativism and anti-immigrant sentiment comes from a lack of perspective, as well as fear.
March 4th, 2016 at 2:53 am
Probably … but mostly the second … fear is usually what causes xenophobia …
March 4th, 2016 at 9:03 am
Interesting take on a modern Arthur. Well written.
April 2nd, 2016 at 11:09 am
what a story!