February 19, 2021

Bye Bye Birdie

Bye Bye Birdie

Me and the fellers are unwinding when one of them new auto-harvesters drives by. The ones that took our jobs and left us homeless by the highway.

“Ay, ya arshdriver!” Kenny shouts, flipping the double bird as it roars by. I flip it off too just as a piece sticking out chops off my right middle digit, clean as a butcher. It goes flying into the fire where Robbie’s cooking roadkill.

It’s nothing but ash now. Bad enough the bastards take my job, but now I can’t even flip the double bird in protest? It’s enough to make you misty-eyed.

About David Stewart

I am a writer of anything quirky and weird. I love most genres of fiction and in each there are stories that I would consider "my kind of story". View all posts by David Stewart

This entry was posted on Friday, February 19th, 2021 at 7:45 am and tagged with automation, dark humor, fiction, flash fiction, flipping the bird, Friday Fictioneers, homelessness, roadkill and posted in Friday Fictioneers. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.

21 responses to “Bye Bye Birdie”

neilmacdon
February 19th, 2021 at 8:32 am

Great voice in this

Reply
- David Stewart
  February 24th, 2021 at 6:15 pm
  
  Thanks, Neil.
  
  Reply
Iain Kelly
February 19th, 2021 at 10:47 am

Oh no! Tragic and hilarious at the same time, well done.

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- David Stewart
  February 24th, 2021 at 6:16 pm
  
  Thanks, Iain. Yes, it’s kind of some black comedy I was going for.
  
  Reply
granonine
February 19th, 2021 at 11:11 am

Got his wings clipped, didn’t he? One has to share the frustration, though. I looked and looked for a check-out lane operated by a real person the other day, My back was kicking up a fuss, and I could have used some help. No such luck. Automated or not at all.

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- David Stewart
  February 24th, 2021 at 6:17 pm
  
  Ugh, I know what you mean. I feel like I’m giving in a bit when I use the automated ones since I don’t like that trend. Give me a real person anytime.
  
  Reply
rochellewisoff
February 19th, 2021 at 1:22 pm

Dear David,

I hate to laugh at his pain, but hahahahahahaha. As Chief Dan George said, “Some days the magic works and some days it doesn’t.” Love this one.

Shalom,

Rochelle

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- David Stewart
  February 24th, 2021 at 6:20 pm
  
  Thanks, Rochelle. Glad you liked it and yes, the good thing about stories is we can laugh at the pain guilt-free. 🙂 I’m glad I got this one in, even if it was a few days late.
  
  Reply
Keith's Ramblings
February 20th, 2021 at 4:52 am

Nice one David!

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- David Stewart
  February 24th, 2021 at 6:19 pm
  
  Thanks, Keith!
  
  Reply
msjadeli
February 20th, 2021 at 11:47 am

Your story wears the double mask of comedy and tragedy. C’est la vie! I hope they have plenty of wood to keep the fire going and a blade to cauterize his digit.

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- Susannah Bianchi
  February 24th, 2021 at 3:34 am
  
  You nailed it. He’s so good at both, comedy and tragedy.
  
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- David Stewart
  February 24th, 2021 at 6:18 pm
  
  Thanks! Yeah, those are fun aspects to mix. It’s the sort of thing that is good in a story, not so much in real life, I’m sure. 🙂
  
  Reply
  - msjadeli
    February 24th, 2021 at 8:58 pm
    
    You’re welcome 🙂
    
    Reply
Dale
February 20th, 2021 at 10:20 pm

Laughing while crying. Excellent!

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- David Stewart
  February 21st, 2021 at 6:23 pm
  
  Thanks, Dale! 🙂
  
  Reply
Brenda's Thoughts
February 21st, 2021 at 1:39 pm

Poor guy is all I’ve got to say. =)

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- David Stewart
  February 21st, 2021 at 6:23 pm
  
  Yeah, no kidding. That’s injury to insult, or is it the other away around? 🙂
  
  Reply
Susannah Bianchi
February 24th, 2021 at 3:33 am

Love flipping the double bird, as it roars by. You’re so good at these.

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- David Stewart
  February 24th, 2021 at 6:15 pm
  
  Thanks. 🙂 glad you liked it.
  
  Reply
  - Susannah Bianchi
    February 25th, 2021 at 3:51 am
    
    Always. 🙂
    
    Reply