Another story for the Friday Fictioneers writing group. I had several ideas for this picture, but ultimately went with this one. I have another one that is a bit longer I might post later, which is also based on this picture.
Bruce looked up from the note, to the high stair where a scrap of cloth hung. He started forward, but then hesitated.
What if the shirt was an illusion too?
March 6th, 2013 at 10:33 pm
Staircase to heaven or hell? They do say heaven is up —- Hmmm.
Another thrilling read, David. Thank you for sharing,
March 6th, 2013 at 10:35 pm
It looks like it goes up, but what if that’s just an illusion?
Thanks for the kind words, Eric. Glad you liked it.
March 6th, 2013 at 11:52 pm
If it’s going down, there is kind of a slide instead of treads! With a step every once in a while. Whee! Thunk. Whee! Thunk.
March 7th, 2013 at 12:04 am
Well yeah, but when the ghouls start putting pictures in your head, you might think you’re going up while you’re really going down. At least that’s what I was going for. 🙂
March 7th, 2013 at 12:17 am
March 6th, 2013 at 10:40 pm
As always pure entertainment, my friend.
March 7th, 2013 at 5:16 pm
Thanks, as always. 🙂
March 6th, 2013 at 10:50 pm
How thought provoking, what is reality and what is an illusion?
Great story as usual David,
March 6th, 2013 at 11:20 pm
I love this, the mental torture never ends; dilemma after dilemma. I really, really like this.
March 7th, 2013 at 5:17 pm
I’m glad; I like it too. I like stories that end with that sort of dilemma and uncertainty, since I think it allows the reader to make the choice.
March 8th, 2013 at 3:49 am
I’m with Sandra. Good job.
March 6th, 2013 at 11:48 pm
I like the uncertainty factor. It could be a way out, but you’re afraid to hope it might be. Do you trust the anonymous benefactor? Good one.
March 7th, 2013 at 1:34 am
Nicely uncertain – a different take on the prompt. I liked this.
March 7th, 2013 at 1:43 am
love the feeling that “they” are right at his heels
great flash fiction
nice to meet you
March 7th, 2013 at 5:17 pm
I’m glad you felt that. I was going for that hunted, urgent feeling.
March 7th, 2013 at 3:08 am
Looking at the railing,that’s up, but I wouldn’t take any chances either! Good one David 😀
March 7th, 2013 at 7:38 am
Hmmm… To believe, or not to believe; this is the question..
Nicely foreboding, David… 🙂
March 7th, 2013 at 7:53 am
It does seem like an illusion. Great take on this! I then the feeling of being disoriented, does it go up or down. I liked this a lot, David.
March 7th, 2013 at 5:19 pm
Thanks. I think I’d be likely to try it, but I tend to be trusting.
March 7th, 2013 at 8:30 am
Nicely done. I love the way you managed to work a story within a story in a 100 word piece, it felt as if I had read something much longer.
March 7th, 2013 at 5:20 pm
Thanks. When I thought of using the note, I want to set it apart, which does give it a layered effect.
March 7th, 2013 at 4:29 pm
another masterpiece david. this truly is a ghoulish dilemma!
March 7th, 2013 at 5:19 pm
Thank you~ So, what would you do: take the stair or not?
March 7th, 2013 at 6:49 pm
Tie his shirt to the top railing? Hm. A bit of a quandary there. You gave your story an ominous feel that works well.
March 7th, 2013 at 8:06 pm
interesting..and the presentation was nice. The note and Bruce’s dilemma..
March 7th, 2013 at 8:28 pm
sounds like he’s been smoking something ‘naughty’, 😉 not knowing which is up or which is down, the ghouls causing him to disbelieve which ever way he turns. .
March 7th, 2013 at 9:30 pm
That’s a possible theory too. 🙂
March 8th, 2013 at 3:01 am
Well done -very difficult to do, and very much in the style of that classic film “Blow Up”.
March 8th, 2013 at 3:37 am
It’s really nice to see an original style of presentation. Well done.
March 8th, 2013 at 5:33 pm
Thanks. It seemed to fit the story. Even with only 100 words to work with, I’m always trying to see how to shake things up.
March 8th, 2013 at 7:57 am
March 8th, 2013 at 8:30 am
Writing and presentation are both intriguing.
March 8th, 2013 at 9:20 pm
Interesting story. I’m wondering who left the note for Bruce. Was it Bruce himself?
March 8th, 2013 at 9:25 pm
Now there’s an idea, that he keeps doing this, again and again. Maybe the ghouls are just toying with him. Great idea. 🙂
March 9th, 2013 at 12:35 am
I loved this take on the picture – like you say, it does have that illusory quality about it – does it go up or down. The last line really brought home the dilemma – What if it’s a trap?!
March 9th, 2013 at 12:59 am
Awesome David. Makes you want to know if the shirt at the top is real or an illusion.
March 9th, 2013 at 2:39 am
March 9th, 2013 at 6:02 am
Love the idea of a stairway that looks like it’s going up but is really going down. Brilliant.
March 9th, 2013 at 1:42 pm
If he is going up the shirt would hang down towards him…if he is going down the shirt would look like it is hanging down away from him but if the shirt is an illusion he is screwed…an illusion in an illusion like a house of mirrors never truly knowing your direction until you get there….Those stairs are screwing with my head, man….I want out!
Fits the photo perfectly…The first time I looked at the photo I was like where are the steps? What the hell is wrong with those stairs? Very cool! Nice way to capture the initial reaction to the illusion within the photo itself. Tricky task you tackled there…Love it.
March 9th, 2013 at 4:57 pm
Wow, great comment. Thanks. It is a weird picture: I see a lot of people taking it as an eye, which is does look like when it’s smaller.
March 9th, 2013 at 2:18 pm
I enjoyed this story very much. I don’t usually add concrit because you leave little room for it, but just this once: Ghouls hound my trail might be stronger than what’s there. Forgive me if i overstep.
The ‘tying of his shirt to the rail’ is a great touch. Adds so much to the tale. peril for those still in the tunnels. Love it.
March 9th, 2013 at 5:03 pm
Thanks for the comment and the suggestion, Doug. I agree: the way you said it would make it much punchy and urgent. The “the” is important though, since I want to give the indication that everyone in the world knows about the ghouls: they’re not just random ghouls, they’re “the ghouls”.
Of course, there’s the problem with writing a story and putting it into an image: harder to edit. 🙂 I also noticed I should have put in a question mark when I didn’t.
March 9th, 2013 at 11:06 pm
[…] story was inspired by the picture for this week’s Friday Fictioneers. I was originally going to use this story idea, but it proved to way too long, so I wrote it up […]
March 11th, 2013 at 5:28 am
A true life story. Existence is disconcerting, isn’t it? Ann