Don’t you wish you had a get-out-of-jail card for small annoyances? If you’re a buxom blonde, maybe you do, but an easier way (at least if you look like me—neither buxom nor blonde) is to move to another country. In my case, Korea.
I’m not sure about other countries, but in Korea, we call it the foreigner card. It is an acknowledgement that as foreigners (i.e. non-Koreans), that along with all the disadvantages of living in a foreign culture, we have certain privileges by not fitting into the cultural system. It’s one of perks of living over here. Let me give you some examples.
- You are driving and run a red light. A policeman pulls you over, but upon seeing you’re a foreigner (and assuming you don’t speak Korean) he lets you go because he doesn’t want to deal with the situation.
- You want to return something at a store without a receipt. They refuse, saying it’s not the policy. You give them a blank look and keep nudging it towards them, saying juseyo (please give me) and eventually they just do it to make you go away.
- All the teachers at the school are going out to eat. Although there is mandatory attendance, you don’t want to go, so when they tell you about it—in Korean—you give a big smile and say, in English, “see you tomorrow” and just go home.
Now some of those are accidental and some are deliberate, but you get the idea. The idea is getting away with things that other can’t simply because we don’t fit in or people assume we don’t understand (or we pretend we can’t). Here’s why it works.
- We stand out. – I will never, ever pass for a Korean. I did have one man ask me if I was Korean, but he was either drunk or a bad guesser. I don’t stand out like a sore thumb; I stand out like a missing limb. If you happen to be black, then you stand out even more. Because of this, it is very easy for people to make judgments about us before we even speak. Here are some of the common stereotypes: foreigners don’t speak Korean; they don’t understand the culture; they’ve just arrived in Korea; and they insist on others speaking English.
And so on. The point is that even before I open my mouth, the other person has formed an opinion of me in their head.
- A lot of the stereotypes are true. – I’m not trying to bash foreigners living in Korea: I am one, and even though I speak Korean now, I didn’t when I got here. The truth is that there is a huge demand for English teachers here and speaking Korean is not one of the requirements. People often come for a year and then leave, which means they don’t have the time or motivation to learn much of the language. Because of this, they are forced to interact with Koreans with what they have: English and gestures, which can be frustrating for everyone involved. Some Koreans get so tired of going through this time after time that they just try to avoid it. Some shopkeepers type the price into a calculator and show it to me because they assume I wouldn’t understand them if they said it.
- Korean culture puts a high emphasis on service. – When you are a customer in Korea, then you are a king. Tipping isn’t practiced here and it’s very common for shopkeepers to throw in a bit extra or something free, just as good service. You run across people who don’t want to serve foreigners, but usually they will err on the side of good service.
On one hand, it’s very nice that people make exceptions for us at times, since as I said before, a lot of it is deserved. It is very humbling to live here without knowing the language, since you have to rely on others to help with a lot of things: setting up an account, going to the doctor, buying a cell phone, etc. However, some people try to game the system by pretending they are more ignorant than they are. Since people already assume we’re ignorant, why not use that to our advantage, right?
I try not to use the foreigner card if I can help it. Mostly because it’s dishonest if I deliberately pretending to be more ignorant than I am, but also because after living here for so long, I really want to fit in. I am very tired of always being the exception, even when it’s beneficial.
Also, I want people to know I speak Korean, because dealing with foreigners is very stressful for a lot of people. Koreans feel that because they study English in school, they should speak English when they meet a foreigner, not that the foreigner should speak Korean. I can see the fear in their eyes when I come into their shop, as they desperately try to remember everything their middle school teacher said while they were talking in the back of the class. So, I try to speak Korean as soon as possible to put them at ease. You can see some of them, usually younger people who have studied English, visibly deflate with relief when they realize you can speak Korean.
So, there it is: a way out of minor difficulties based on stereotypes, real and perceived language barriers, and cultural misunderstanding. Still, it’s nice to have it if you need it.
March 5th, 2013 at 9:37 pm
This post struck a chord and brought out a smile 🙂
For the first 20 years, I worked for a British MNC in Singapore, rising to Divisional Manager. When a new management team arrived from the UK, they assumed that though we all spoke English, we locals did not fully grasp the nuances of the language. Which was true in most cases – with one exception 🙂
Every time I overstepped the mark, I pulled that stunt > Oh, you know I didn’t really catch the drift.
And I was forgiven 🙂
After the third stunt as in many months, HR warned that management was looking at all the records – annual review was around the corner. I stopped pulling that stunt – someone had remarked that I scored distinctions in English and English Literature in school – the only one among the local managers.
Back to the drawing board 🙂
March 5th, 2013 at 10:27 pm
That’s funny. Kind of serves them right for being arrogant about the language.
March 6th, 2013 at 1:55 am
I’m so impressed you know Korean. Was it pretty hard to learn? I imagine it helps it you out quite a bit, but as you said, sometimes it works in your favor to play ignorant.
March 6th, 2013 at 1:25 pm
It’s not too hard to learn, but like any language, it takes a while. The writing is a million times easier than Chinese or Japanese, which is good, but the grammar has its tricky points. I’m so glad I can talk to people and conduct business. What’s funny is listening to people talk about me when they assume I can’t understand. 🙂
March 6th, 2013 at 2:42 am
I also tried to avoid pulling the foreigner card when I lived in Pyeongtaek. I didn’t learn Korean fluently, but I picked up all the necessary words / phrases to allow me to live more or less successfully. You know, directions for a taxi, hello, goodbye, thank you, how much, numbers, reading the alphabet, etc. I know people who pretend to be ignorant on purpose, and it drives me crazy, because it worries me that they’re so comfortable with being insincere. When I was in Korea, I did my best to fit in, I was as friendly as humanly possible, and when I asked for help, I made sure to say thank you a lot to indicate how grateful I was for their help. I don’t think I got any dirty looks, so hopefully it worked out 🙂
March 6th, 2013 at 1:23 pm
Koreans are very forgiving for people who try, like you. I think most foreigners want to do their best, but there are always those few who insist on everything their way.
March 6th, 2013 at 10:01 am
“,,,it is very easy for people to make judgments about us before we even speak.”
“I am very tired of always being the exception, even when it’s beneficial.”
Hmmm…sounds like the stereotypes — and actual truths — about foreigners are the same all over.
March 6th, 2013 at 1:16 pm
Yeah, I’m sure they are. People are people, after all.
March 7th, 2013 at 4:34 pm
the second point perks is a killer! in toto this post is pure fun! loved it 🙂