I’ve decided to write a Choose Your Own Adventure-eque story, but since Choose Your Own Adventure is copyrighted, I won’t be using that phrase ever again. So, welcome to my Decide Your Quest series. And you, as the reader, will get to vote on what will happen at the end of every episode.
Another feature of this story is that you will never die, no matter how mind-blowingly certain it seems. This is because in a normal . . . story of this kind, you die about a third of the time and have to go back and choose another path. This makes it feel like the writer is pushing you in a certain direction. Not the case here. Every option is viable. So, without further ado, here is The Mystery of the Missing Amulet.
The Mystery of the Missing Amulet
The auctioneer’s voice drones on and on from the front of the room. Everyone’s eyes are stuck to him, like your tongue to that frozen light pole that one time when you were six.
Not your eyes though. You’re only here because the lieutenant made you come and guard the treasures that are being auctioned off. You yawn and flip the safety of your pistol on and off. You wonder how far you could pull the trigger before the gun goes off, but decide not to try.
“I’m glad we have a big, strong man in uniform here to make sure we are well protected,” you hear a feminine voice say right behind you. You turn to see a gorgeous woman in a red dress, which is slit up the side of her leg. It’s also slit along the shoulder. And the back. It kind of looks like it was recently in a knife fight. The woman bats her eyes at you in an overt way. Everything about her seems to sparkle.
“Are there terrorists around, because you’re a bombshell,” you say. The woman laughs. Huh. First time that line’s ever worked.
“This was my late grandfather’s collection,” she says. “We thought we should sell it off, what with the curse and all. By the way, my name is Brittany Fiona Rattleshack IX.” It sounds like a fake name, but at the moment, you don’t care.
“I’m sorry, can you text me our GPS coordinates?” you say. “Because I just got lost in your eyes.” Brittany laughs again. Booyah! Two for two.
“So where are you staying?” she asks.
“I’m staying upstairs, in the hotel,” you say, raising your hand and pointing to the ceiling.
“I have $150,000 for this beautiful Egyptian amulet, from the uniformed gentleman in the back,” the auctioneer says.
Oh crap! He thought you were bidding. What do you do?
The Green-Walled Tower 
May 20th, 2013 at 12:41 pm
Freaking brilliant idea! The pick up lines are so hilariously cheesy that I (and apparently she) couldn’t help but laugh at loud. I wouldn’t want to type lol as I really did laugh. So looking forward to the rest!
May 20th, 2013 at 2:09 pm
Thanks, man. 🙂 I like writing about over-the-top characters.
May 20th, 2013 at 12:44 pm
I want to pull the trigger; let the gunshot into the floor hopefully distract the auctioneer from remembering the fact I accidently bid. but since I cant choose that I’ll have to politely retract my bid.
May 20th, 2013 at 2:08 pm
I thought of having a fill in alternate answers, but I thought it might get too confusing. That’s why role-playing games will always be better than Choose Your Own Adventure: limitless possibilities. 🙂
May 20th, 2013 at 2:13 pm
the click did not worked- the first option, of course I will explain it was a mistake 🙂
even if I was standing next to Adonis 🙂
sounds like a very cool story in progress!
May 20th, 2013 at 2:19 pm
it did not work for you. In that case, I’ll vote for you. It seems that most people are choosing the first one. 🙂
May 20th, 2013 at 6:13 pm
people have become smarter 🙂
May 20th, 2013 at 4:59 pm
🙂
Love the idea and your inimitable style.Kudos.
Since I do not have the money and my job is important to me, I voted for the first option.
May 20th, 2013 at 8:37 pm
Sounds like other people agree with you. I have so many responsible readers. 🙂
May 20th, 2013 at 6:20 pm
Are there terrorists around because you are a bombshell I love that 😉
May 21st, 2013 at 5:11 am
The story is a lot of fun so far. I can’t wait to see why this bonafide goddess is flirting so hard. I like the idea of this storytelling by vote. I want to see where this goes.
May 21st, 2013 at 9:28 am
Wonder why the girl is trying to charm him. Think something more might be going on in the room and she wants to keep him distracted and occupied.
May 21st, 2013 at 9:43 am
The plot will thicken soon. 🙂
May 25th, 2013 at 8:30 pm
*groan* Those lines are awful!
Why is everyone being so polite!??! “Retract the bid”? PULL THE FIRE ALARM AND RUN PULL THE FIRE ALARM AND RUN!!
May 27th, 2013 at 7:58 pm
[…] is Chapter 2 of my Decide Your Quest story, The Mystery of the Missing Amulet. In the last story, you, the main character, accidentally bid 150,000 dollars for an old Egyptian amulet. The readers […]