The continuing story of Peregrine. Again though, it should be able to stand on its own (I hope). Here are the previous editions: 1. Peregrine’s Bar, 2. Clue 43, 3. Midnight Call.
Special Becky
Peregrine was close; he felt it.
The kidnappers had first said Algeria. Then, at the payphone, a husky voice had given him the name of this Parisian building. A dress on the balcony showed the apartment.
Crash.
An upper window exploded in a blossom of shards and a body hit the sidewalk with a stomach-turning crunch. Another man appeared at the broken window and stepped out—placidly, deliberately—and landed on the roof of a BMW. Glass shattered; the car alarm began to scream.
Peregrine sprinted through milling crowds to the apartment entrance. Becky was definitely inside.
Powerful, special Becky.
May 29th, 2013 at 6:15 pm
Dear David,
While I’m not a huge fan of the flash fiction serial, I must say that yours are complete and stand alone. Well written and concise.
shalom,
Rochelle
May 29th, 2013 at 6:17 pm
Thank you. To be frank, Rochelle, I’ve never been a huge fan of it either, but I figured I’d try it. I’ll probably wrap this up pretty soon now.
May 29th, 2013 at 7:31 pm
What she said. As I’ve mentioned before, I really appreciate that you realize each piece should stand on its own and then you write it that way with panache.
janet
May 29th, 2013 at 6:16 pm
I’m on Becky’s side. No really. You won’t hear me say a word against her. Very dramatic – enjoyed it.
June 2nd, 2013 at 10:42 am
Thanks, Sandra. Yeah, it might not be good to make her angry. 🙂
May 29th, 2013 at 6:31 pm
As I read the different entries, I am amazed at the ways this dress is used in the various stories. I like the idea of the dress as a signal.
May 29th, 2013 at 6:41 pm
I’m always amazed at the variety of stories that come from the same picture.
May 29th, 2013 at 6:39 pm
Enjoyed this read, David.
Cheers, Eric
May 29th, 2013 at 6:41 pm
Thanks, Eric.
May 29th, 2013 at 7:19 pm
Great cliff hanger. I can’t wait for more. Good read.
June 2nd, 2013 at 10:45 am
It’ll pick up next week. The problem with these serial stories is that they are somewhat dependent on the photo. 🙂
May 29th, 2013 at 8:20 pm
Funny I’m not really a serial fan either and yet I’m writing one. You have a good compelling story with interesting elements. Becky is the man!
May 29th, 2013 at 9:37 pm
I find that serial flash fiction is much harder, since you have to make it consistent with the overall plot, while still making it conform with the rules of flash fiction. Still, a good challenge. 🙂 Becky definitely is something else. We’ll meet her next week.
May 29th, 2013 at 11:11 pm
Very dramatic stuff – you can really feel all the action. I can echo comments generally here, in all their range. Always good writing here!
June 2nd, 2013 at 10:46 am
Thanks. This one has more action and violence than normal.
May 29th, 2013 at 11:19 pm
Can’t wait to meet Becky.
Great story
June 2nd, 2013 at 10:46 am
Next week, or at least that’s the plan.
June 2nd, 2013 at 6:01 pm
Unless the prompt gives you other ideas 😉
June 2nd, 2013 at 11:33 pm
That’s the thing: it’s hard to plan too much ahead without seeing the picture. That’s the fun of it though.
June 3rd, 2013 at 12:34 am
Exactly. Jules and I have no idea what is coming next for Raynard and Saskia. We have no idea from one week to the next if one of them is going to die
May 30th, 2013 at 12:36 am
“Powerful, special Becky.” Loved that.
June 2nd, 2013 at 10:47 am
🙂 Thanks, I wrestled with the exact wording for a bit. It’s a challenge to convey a lot in a few words.
May 30th, 2013 at 12:50 am
I feel a serious twist coming on!
June 2nd, 2013 at 10:47 am
Possibly 🙂
May 30th, 2013 at 3:47 am
Ah love that piece of action.. and I mirror that opinion, in a serial every piece has to stand by itself, which I think this one does.
June 2nd, 2013 at 10:48 am
Thanks, Bjorn. After the last few, I wanted one with more action in it as the story approaches a climax.
May 30th, 2013 at 3:54 am
I like Becky, haven’t met her yet but I really do like her. She must be really something, he’s so driven to find her! Excellent writing! 🙂
June 2nd, 2013 at 10:49 am
I feel the same. I really like her too.
May 30th, 2013 at 7:40 am
Love the suspense and can’t wait to meet Sheila.
May 30th, 2013 at 7:44 am
Lol…..and uhhhh… Becky too. Hopefully Becky isn’t offended that I got her name wrong. I wouldn’t want her after me!!
May 30th, 2013 at 8:53 am
I think she can forgive you…I hope.
May 30th, 2013 at 7:57 am
Dang, that was violent! I tried to close my eyes but then I couldn’t finish reading it.
May 30th, 2013 at 8:49 am
Yeah, a little more violent than my usual. If it helps, they were pretty bad men.
May 30th, 2013 at 9:54 am
Powerful Becky! It looks like she can take care of herself too.
May 30th, 2013 at 10:35 am
Yeah, when she has a chance. She still needs her dad though. 🙂
May 30th, 2013 at 1:10 pm
I this story was on two pages, it would definitely be a page turner. Exciting writing. And the ending . . . oh now i have to know about this powerful special Becky Glad to hear we’ll be getting to meet her next week. 😀
June 2nd, 2013 at 10:50 am
Thanks. It’s harder to have page turners online, isn’t it? I could have linked half of it somewhere else so you’d have to click over. 🙂
May 30th, 2013 at 1:50 pm
Stands on its own quite well and give me powerful, special Becky!
June 2nd, 2013 at 10:52 am
Thanks, Perry!
May 30th, 2013 at 2:02 pm
[…] Special Becky – Friday Fictioneers (greenwalledtower.wordpress.com) […]
May 30th, 2013 at 3:25 pm
you are one story teller! waiting for the end 🙂
June 2nd, 2013 at 10:56 am
Thanks, dear. It’ll be coming soon.
May 30th, 2013 at 6:45 pm
I want to know more about powerful, special Becky. Actually I think I might want to be powerful, special Becky.
As with other commenters, I don’t realky like serials, but this definitely works on its own. Plus the first Peregrine blew me away, so I’d forgive you anything anyway 😀
May 30th, 2013 at 6:52 pm
Thanks. I hope to share a bit more about Becky. Stayed tuned next week. 🙂
May 30th, 2013 at 8:29 pm
It sounds like Becky turned the tables on her captors. Good for her.
June 2nd, 2013 at 10:57 am
Yep. It’s hard to hold dangerous things stable for a long period of time.
May 30th, 2013 at 10:53 pm
Is Becky in the same secret government programme as Jason Bourne? 🙂
May 30th, 2013 at 11:10 pm
I hope not. She’s more natural. 🙂 Hopefully next week will clear things up, although with only 100 words, it might take two weeks.
May 31st, 2013 at 1:02 am
Very nice action piece David. Having not read any of the previous entries (yet), this does indeed stand on its own. Now I guess I’ll get on with the task of catching up!! 🙂
June 2nd, 2013 at 10:58 am
Thanks. I’m glad it works on its own. It’s always a challenge to link the stories to previous ones while still make them intelligible to first-time readers.
May 31st, 2013 at 1:06 am
A dramatic tale. Becky sounds like a somewhat fearsome lady.
May 31st, 2013 at 3:17 pm
Thanks. I think she can be, at times.
May 31st, 2013 at 5:57 am
Gripping and unexpected – great standalone/instalment!
June 2nd, 2013 at 11:00 am
Thanks!
May 31st, 2013 at 1:56 pm
Wonderfully written, David. It definitely works as a standalone. You got me guessing. What’s next?!
June 2nd, 2013 at 10:59 am
I have the whole story planned out in the my head, although it might depend a bit on what the photo prompt is next week. I was lucky last time, since Rochelle accidentally posted this week’s picture last week and I got a chance to think about it.
June 3rd, 2013 at 3:24 am
Ooohh, that’s cheating, David! Of course, I’m kidding. I think I need to see the prompts on Monday! It’s amazing what a little time can do for an idea.
May 31st, 2013 at 7:17 pm
You had me fearful and bursting into laughter in a 100 words. Well done.
June 2nd, 2013 at 11:00 am
Fear and laughter are a good combination. I’ll call this a success. 🙂
May 31st, 2013 at 7:35 pm
Ooh very James Bondish! just went through the prequels to understand this better. Lovin it so far 😀
May 31st, 2013 at 9:53 pm
Thanks for reading! Glad you like them. 🙂
June 1st, 2013 at 8:23 pm
An exciting instalment, lots of action. Good idea using the dress as a marker.
June 2nd, 2013 at 11:08 am
Thanks. It’s funny; I was going off a small version of the picture and didn’t even notice the dress until the story was written, so I revised it to make the dress the signal.
June 2nd, 2013 at 3:58 am
Can’t wait to find out what Becky is all about.
June 2nd, 2013 at 11:09 am
Soon now. This story is almost finished.
June 3rd, 2013 at 1:00 am
wow, wonderful episode. and i love the writing 🙂
June 3rd, 2013 at 8:08 pm
You write action scenes extremely well.
I’ve had people refer to me as “special,” but unfortunately it’s in the “bless his little heart” connotation. 🙂
June 3rd, 2013 at 8:11 pm
“Special” sure does run the gambit for connotations. Anywhere from talented to disabled to don’t-make-that-guy-mad-or-he’ll-kill-us all. I guess we’re all a little special, in one way or another..
June 3rd, 2013 at 11:24 pm
a great continuation 🙂
June 5th, 2013 at 6:19 pm
[…] The continuing story of Peregrine and Becky. Here are the previous editions: 1. Peregrine’s Bar, 2. Clue 43, 3. Midnight Call, 4. Special Becky […]
June 6th, 2013 at 6:55 am
Great descriptions in this piece — they caused me to easily imagine the action. Especially how you described the window exploding in shards. Nail-biting stuff!
June 12th, 2013 at 8:43 pm
[…] However, here are the previous editions: 1. Peregrine’s Bar, 2. Clue 43, 3. Midnight Call, 4. Special Becky, 5. Freakish Becky. Obviously when you write flash-fiction, a lot of the story has to be implied. I […]