One Last Ride
“Take your glaucoma medicine,” they said.
“Don’t overexert yourself,” they said.
I say, nuts to that! What golden future am I saving my strength for? I’m well over the hill and coasting fast towards the finish line, etched with a cold, hard epitaph. This is my car and I’ll take it for one last ride, damn it!
Only one good hip? Who cares! That’s one more than a cobra has and it’ll bite you in the ass if you don’t watch it. Don’t underestimate me just because I’m older than you.
Sirens. “Pull over!” they say.
Nuts to you, copper!
June 26th, 2013 at 6:31 pm
Dear David,
You painted a very clear picture of an old man still full of piss and vinegar. I like him. Good job!
Shalom,
Rochelle
June 26th, 2013 at 6:56 pm
Thank you, Rochelle. I’m not sure if this is how I’d want to get old, but it’d be better than sitting silent and senile all day, merely a shell of what I was.
June 27th, 2013 at 4:42 am
Could be an old woman just as easily!
janet
June 27th, 2013 at 8:55 am
True. There is no indication that it has to be a man.
June 26th, 2013 at 6:42 pm
Heh. One more good hip than a cobra…good line!
June 29th, 2013 at 10:09 pm
Thanks. 🙂
June 26th, 2013 at 6:47 pm
He’s suicidal. Understandable frustration though. Effective
June 29th, 2013 at 10:09 pm
Hopefully he’s not really suicidal, although in his mood, he might think he prefers that to captivity in a nursing home. At least that’s my take on the character.
June 26th, 2013 at 6:47 pm
Grandpa has had too much of a lot of things, including the sauce. Let’s hope someone can stop him before it is too late.
June 26th, 2013 at 6:54 pm
Hopefully worst that will happen is the car in a ditch. Still, I don’t think even then he’d go quietly.
June 26th, 2013 at 6:51 pm
Beware of the old! Great portrayal in these few words.
June 26th, 2013 at 6:52 pm
Thanks. 🙂 A lot of older people are still pretty tough.
June 26th, 2013 at 7:39 pm
Way to go. In style. Nice one David.
June 29th, 2013 at 10:10 pm
Go out with some gumption, right?
June 26th, 2013 at 7:59 pm
As light-hearted as this story is, I think care for older people does need to improve a lot.
June 26th, 2013 at 8:34 pm
Definitely. A lot of elderly care is an absolute travesty.
June 26th, 2013 at 8:12 pm
Oh dear..there are a few like that……!
June 29th, 2013 at 10:11 pm
More than a few in some areas. Around here, it’s the people in electric wheelchairs that just trundle through busy intersections.
June 26th, 2013 at 8:31 pm
Hehe. Too funny. I can just picture this guy. I think I’ve met a few like him. You carried this one off well. This was a really fun story!
June 29th, 2013 at 10:11 pm
Thanks. 🙂 I was hoping it would be fun, with perhaps some other emotions mixed in as well.
June 26th, 2013 at 8:33 pm
Ha! An amazing person he is…
June 29th, 2013 at 10:12 pm
Greatest generation.
June 26th, 2013 at 8:40 pm
Only one way that ride is gonna end ——- like all rides, it will stop!
June 26th, 2013 at 9:32 pm
It’ll have to stop at some point, hopefully in one piece.
June 26th, 2013 at 10:01 pm
Go, grampa, go! Excellent character you’ve created, David.
June 26th, 2013 at 11:05 pm
He’s all fired up and he’s not going to take it anymore! Well at least until his mid-afternoon nap. 🙂
June 26th, 2013 at 11:23 pm
Nuts to you, copper – sounds like Edward G Robinson – although Ii imagined a Peter Fonda old man styled a la Easy Rider flagging a middle finger at a pig
June 26th, 2013 at 11:34 pm
That was kind of the image I was going for. It’s a bit of an antiquated expression, but the guy’s old, so it was intentional. 🙂
June 27th, 2013 at 12:28 am
Great voice.
June 29th, 2013 at 10:13 pm
Thanks. I try to mix it up and try different narration styles.
June 27th, 2013 at 12:39 am
never too old to experience new things – like a night in the slammer
June 27th, 2013 at 12:46 am
good point. Maybe real imprisonment might make him think better of the nursing home.
June 27th, 2013 at 2:10 am
Just excellent David! 😀
June 29th, 2013 at 10:13 pm
🙂 Glad you liked it.
June 27th, 2013 at 6:26 am
Yeah! Go out with a bang, which he will because the brakes on the AC Cobra are for shit…
June 29th, 2013 at 10:14 pm
Hmm, good tie-in. Never thought of that. Maybe the whole thing is calculated.
June 27th, 2013 at 9:47 am
He must be fun at parties 🙂
June 29th, 2013 at 10:15 pm
He’s probably the one with a drink in one hand, and gesticulating with the other while telling a wild story from his youth.
June 27th, 2013 at 10:49 am
Love it. And the final ride needs to be everything it should be for him or her, whatever the outcome. That’s the feeling I get when reading this! Good one! 🙂
June 29th, 2013 at 10:16 pm
I kind of felt the same, as if he/she knows that they can’t continue, but want one last chance at freedom and rebellion before the car is taken away and their world starts to shrink around them.
June 30th, 2013 at 5:20 am
Yes exactly!
June 27th, 2013 at 12:09 pm
Gotta love his disposition!
June 29th, 2013 at 10:16 pm
He’s a tough old guy.
June 27th, 2013 at 2:42 pm
There’s no slowing this guy down. I wouldn’t want to get in a car with him. Nice one, David!
June 29th, 2013 at 10:17 pm
Heh, no, me neither. Hopefully he’s at least wearing a seat belt.
June 27th, 2013 at 3:43 pm
one more than a cobra excellent ! spunky character
June 29th, 2013 at 10:17 pm
🙂 Thanks.
June 27th, 2013 at 4:31 pm
Lol..oh my. I’ve seen the future and it’s not pretty.
June 29th, 2013 at 10:18 pm
And just think: in the future it will be in a hover car. 😉
June 30th, 2013 at 2:19 am
🙂
June 27th, 2013 at 7:34 pm
This is fantastic! I like the narrator’s spirit — I loved the comparison to a cobra and the last line. Way to live it up!
June 29th, 2013 at 10:18 pm
Thanks. If you’re going to go, go out with spirit.
June 27th, 2013 at 9:38 pm
Hilarious take on the prompt and glorious old age.
June 29th, 2013 at 10:19 pm
Old age is when you are again allowed to have the indiscretions of youth, but at least have the option of wisdom. 🙂
June 27th, 2013 at 10:59 pm
Do you know my mother, by any chance? Little 91-year-old lady in Northampton driving a little but not quite so elderly car. Being her passenger is a white knuckle experience, but without the car I don’t know what she’d do or who she’d be. She doesn’t have glaucoma, thank goodness, and she probably wouldn’t say'”Nuts!’ to a policeman… But she might well think it. 🙂
June 27th, 2013 at 11:31 pm
I’ve known plenty of people like her at least, where driving with them is halfway between a roller coaster ride and a death race.
June 28th, 2013 at 2:30 pm
sounds like his final ride! 😦
June 28th, 2013 at 5:43 pm
maybe his final ride in the car, but hopefully not his final day on earth.
June 28th, 2013 at 8:20 pm
Go for it, my friend, but maybe you ought to pull over for the coppers! I kinda dig this guy, nice job …
June 28th, 2013 at 8:32 pm
Thanks, I like him too. He should pull over, but he’s tired of being told what to do all the time.
June 28th, 2013 at 8:59 pm
I LOVED this one David! Reminded me of my dad, and how we literally had to one day just take the keys away!
June 29th, 2013 at 10:20 pm
It was a hard day for my grandfather when he had to finally give up the car. Of course, he was in a hospital bed, so it was harder to fight it.
June 28th, 2013 at 10:07 pm
Very well constructed and believable tale with a killer finish.
June 29th, 2013 at 10:21 pm
Thanks. Hopefully not too killer. 🙂
June 28th, 2013 at 10:58 pm
(I picture this as gramps feeling like a daredevil, but actually he’s barely moving at 20 below the speed limit, and he’s straddling two lanes.)
June 29th, 2013 at 8:53 am
I like that image. 🙂 Trundling down the highway in first gear, a long line of commuters backed up behind him.
June 28th, 2013 at 11:51 pm
Way to go. If I can get anywhere near the keys!
June 29th, 2013 at 10:22 pm
🙂
June 29th, 2013 at 1:20 am
The only thing better than a rebellious teenager is a rebellious old fart. In fact, I resemble that remark. Well done, David!
June 29th, 2013 at 8:51 am
You’re never too old to stick it to the Man.
June 29th, 2013 at 2:06 am
Great monologue .. But I’m glad for the police in this case
June 29th, 2013 at 8:49 am
Yeah, rebellion has its place, but possibly not on public highways.
June 29th, 2013 at 8:30 am
“That’s one more than a cobra has and it’ll bite you in the ass if you don’t watch it.”
Great line. Well done.
June 29th, 2013 at 10:22 pm
Thanks~
June 29th, 2013 at 9:58 am
Too darn cute. Hope he makes it.
June 29th, 2013 at 2:55 pm
Me too. 🙂
June 29th, 2013 at 8:11 pm
Great story David
It’s an old woman, wearing her purple hat, putting up two fingers to the world
Love it
Dee
June 29th, 2013 at 10:23 pm
It’s funny: I wrote it with a man in mind and most people took it that way, but there’s no indication it’s not a woman. I like your description of the driver. Works perfectly.
June 29th, 2013 at 9:14 pm
And the chase is on. I just hope s/he doesn’t take anyone else with them.
June 29th, 2013 at 10:23 pm
I hope he runs out of gas soon. 🙂
June 30th, 2013 at 6:07 pm
Dear David,
Going out like that should be mandatory for all humans. The long slide into a certain end is not for me. I’m riding with your protagonist. Good story.
Aloha,
Doug
July 1st, 2013 at 11:14 pm
haha he sounds like an awesome old man. you have a knack for creating characters that are really likeable! 🙂