I admit: I found this prompt pretty hard, although it doesn’t help that I’ve been pretty tired for the last few days. I vacillated between dark and humour and ended up with dark humour.
Copyright E.A. Wicklund
Enough to Go Around
“I never saw the harm, you know?” Dean said. His seventh beer was leaking into his words. “Girls fighting over you—that’s good, right?”
The same old story.
“I was dating Amy then,” he said. “You remember Amy? The wrestler?”
“I remember.”
“It was after a tournament and her friend starts flirting with me. Awesome! Then Amy finds us, grabs my arm. Her friend grabs my other arm. I say, ‘Ladies, there’s enough of me to go around.’” He starts crying.
“Come on, let’s get you home.” I ease his coat over his cold, prosthetic arms and lead him outside.
October 2nd, 2013 at 11:22 pm
🙂 Dark humour indeed. I like the idea of the seventh beer leaking into his words. Graphic!
October 2nd, 2013 at 11:40 pm
Nailed it.
October 2nd, 2013 at 11:41 pm
Ouch… if you can’t decide between dark and humor… do both. I agree with Sandra, the seventh beer worked magic on the story.
October 3rd, 2013 at 12:06 am
Sandra stole the words right out of my mouth. I may have to file charges against her for theft. Wonderfully dark and humorous take on the prompt.
October 3rd, 2013 at 12:22 am
oh.. dark humor indeed, but very, very well written, David.
October 3rd, 2013 at 9:44 pm
Thank you very much. I appreciate it. 🙂
October 3rd, 2013 at 12:48 am
Very dark! I have to agree with everyone else, the line about the seventh beer leaking into his words was perfection.
October 3rd, 2013 at 9:44 pm
Thanks. Apparently that line was a hit; I’m glad.
October 3rd, 2013 at 1:54 am
OMG..lol, yup, dark humor; ouch!
October 3rd, 2013 at 2:10 am
fantastic. hilarious and horrifying all at the same time 🙂
October 3rd, 2013 at 9:43 pm
Thanks. I was hoping it would be so over the top that it would be too gruesome.
October 5th, 2013 at 10:32 pm
popcorn horror. uh-oh… im afraid you’ve already read that particular story haha that was a friday fictioneer story that i submitted. the one about the baobab. but thank you! thank you, i really appreciate the support. 🙂 ps if you’re interested in joining an anthology for flash fic, there’s this one by Leodegraunce. a picky editor,lol, but that’s what makes a great book. http://www.leodegraunce.com/
October 5th, 2013 at 11:20 pm
Well, considering I’ve loved everything I’ve read from you, I’ll like reading it again. I remember that one actually: it was great. Thanks for the link: I’ll check it out.
October 3rd, 2013 at 2:29 am
This is so horrible, and yet I’m laughing!
October 3rd, 2013 at 9:42 pm
That’s pretty much what I was going for. 🙂
October 3rd, 2013 at 3:43 am
Excellent!
October 3rd, 2013 at 9:42 pm
🙂 Thanks.
October 3rd, 2013 at 4:04 am
I’m still laughing. Maybe I don’t want to know what that says about me, because I even thought of that “going around” before you passed even my thought of them slinging him around between them.
janet
October 3rd, 2013 at 9:42 pm
Well, I was hoping you’d laugh, so what does that say about me? There’s definitely a dark humor streak in me somewhere.
October 3rd, 2013 at 8:08 am
Wow! Folks with prosthetic limbs would consider this a huge boost to their probably fragile egos! 🙂
October 3rd, 2013 at 8:58 am
I’m a wrestler now, huh?! Ha ha. I would never do that to Dean. Ah, too bad for him, still I wanted to laugh. You did your job!
October 3rd, 2013 at 9:41 pm
You’re not a wrestler? I must have read your About page all wrong then. 😉
Sounds like you got the story just right, so that’s good.
October 3rd, 2013 at 2:34 pm
Amy the wrestler…! Great lines there, that seventh beer leaking into words…amazing
October 3rd, 2013 at 6:51 pm
it certainly is DARK! poor fellow!
October 3rd, 2013 at 9:39 pm
🙂 Yep, he may not have deserved that much punishment for flirting.
October 4th, 2013 at 4:32 pm
exactly.
October 3rd, 2013 at 8:08 pm
Dear Dave,
Subtle story you wrote there. I’ll bet all the girls love it. Me? I’m still cringing. (Well done.)
Aloha,
Doug
October 3rd, 2013 at 9:37 pm
It’s a cautionary tale to all those men who try to have the best of both worlds. 🙂
October 3rd, 2013 at 10:44 pm
You nailed dark humor all right, so well shot. Sounds like you need to be careful what you say when dating a wrestler. Otherwise, you might get just a slap and not a need for new arms. Yikes.
October 4th, 2013 at 3:02 am
The 7th beer leaking into his words is fabulous; love the setting. I can feel these two guys, talking about being guys, in a bar… The ending, was unexpected: tender and sobering, at the same time. Well done.
October 4th, 2013 at 5:31 am
This was too funny. I laughed out loud, even though it was a bit sad too. Very clever of you. Fantastic!±
October 4th, 2013 at 6:22 am
Kudos!!
October 4th, 2013 at 9:45 am
Dear David,
I nearly choked on the last line. And you scored big time with “his seventh beer…” Guess the moral to the tale is never let two female wrestlers fight over you unless you’re Stretch Armstrong. 😉 Good one.
Shalom,
Rochelle
October 4th, 2013 at 2:02 pm
that quashed my dreams of Rhonda Rousey 🙂
October 4th, 2013 at 8:09 pm
Well, just don’t make her mad. 🙂
October 5th, 2013 at 2:05 am
right – I can hear her now… “can you spell arm-bar”
October 4th, 2013 at 7:45 pm
What ever happened to share and share alike? Prosthetic arms may not work as well as flesh and bone, but at least he can still lift a beer.
October 4th, 2013 at 8:12 pm
Hopefully, at least. I was going to put in a line about him sipping it through a straw, but I didn’t have the space.
October 4th, 2013 at 10:18 pm
Looks like the ladies took his words and arms – literally
October 5th, 2013 at 12:21 am
So sad. It reminds me of that Carrie Underwood song “Before He Cheats.”
October 5th, 2013 at 3:03 am
I’m just guessing here, but I’ll bet Amy took sterioids! I loved “his seventh bear leaking into his words” Nicely done.
October 7th, 2013 at 12:46 am
Well, Dean is so pathetic that I can’t even feel sorry for him, but the story is HILARIOUS!
October 9th, 2013 at 11:39 am
The line about the seventh beer leaking into his words was priceless! What a great way to say that. Totally surprised by the ending.
December 11th, 2013 at 7:25 pm
[…] Fictioneers community might be interesting in knowing that one of my previous Fictioneers stories, Enough to Go Around, was recently accepted to be part of the upcoming Leodegraunce flash fiction anthology. I’m […]