November 5, 2013

A Hate Letter to Speed Bumps

Dear speed bumps,

I hate you. I hate the fact that you have shaken my poor little motorcycle to bits by having to continuously drive over you and worn down my brakes by constantly having to slow down to not totally kill my front wheel.

Almost all speed bumps in Korea are painted with this pattern.

I hate the fact that you seem to spawn mostly in the countryside (in Korea, at least), where the open road beckons and the Killjoy McGee that you are keeps getting in the way.

I hate your fake-out cousins, the lines that are painted on the roads to make it look like a speed bump is there. That’s a lie and nobody likes a liar.

Look at it: just paint but no bump. What a liar.

I especially hate your brother, the ninja speed bump that doesn’t have any lines so that it blends in. I hit those full-on and almost go flying.

In conclusion, you slow me down unnecessarily, you damage my bike, and you cause people to die.

Please go away forever,

-David

About David Stewart

I am a writer of anything quirky and weird. I love most genres of fiction and in each there are stories that I would consider "my kind of story". View all posts by David Stewart

This entry was posted on Tuesday, November 5th, 2013 at 10:14 pm and tagged with ambulance, hate, Korea, letter, motorcycle, safety, Speed bump and posted in Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.

9 responses to “A Hate Letter to Speed Bumps”

Adam Ickes
November 6th, 2013 at 12:06 am

Luckily we don’t have speed bumps in the countryside around here. Riding the motorcycle would be much less enjoyable if that were the case. They tend to stick to mostly parking lots around here, and I go out of my way to avoid them if at all possible.

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- David Stewart
  November 6th, 2013 at 12:33 am
  
  Yeah, I don’t know why Korea has so many. They don’t seem to help make things safer.
  
  Reply
myothervoices
November 6th, 2013 at 12:38 am

Yeah, I live and drive a motorbike in Vietnam. I hate speed bumps but I hate pot holes more

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Eric Alagan
November 6th, 2013 at 8:46 am

A few bumps speed recklessly and we end up having to live with speed bumps. Sigh!

Why do they call it “speed bumps” when they make us slow down – “slow bumps” anyone 🙂

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Madhu
November 6th, 2013 at 4:35 pm

My feelings exactly! And you might need to strike India off your bucket list if you hate them, especially the unpainted ones, so much 🙂

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- David Stewart
  November 6th, 2013 at 5:13 pm
  
  I think it would still be worth it to go to India, even with the speed bumps. 🙂 Actually, in Canada, almost no speed bumps are painted, but here they almost all are, so it’s hard to notice the ones that aren’t.
  
  Reply
Sharmishtha Basu
November 6th, 2013 at 10:55 pm

I think all bike riders and drivers will sign your letter 🙂

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- David Stewart
  November 6th, 2013 at 11:08 pm
  
  I think so too.
  
  Reply
misskzebra
November 7th, 2013 at 6:17 am

I hate the narrow ones that just stick up in the middle of the road. You have to hit those ones just right.

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