The psychologists make a convincing case. I can understand their logic and after hours of intensive therapy, I can accept the truth. But still, that tiny kernel of doubt gnaws at me in the dark hours of the night, when I wake, sweating, with heart pounding. That question, which is always before me:
What if I am a little teapot?
My physique is perfect for it. Shortness and stoutness runs in my family and I am only a hairbreadth over 5’4”.
I have no handle or spout, but the fact that I can easily replicate them with my arms disquiets me. What if, upon forming their shapes in some playful gesture, they get stuck that way? What if I am forced to live out my life looking as if I am about to spew out hot liquid at any moment?
I would not say that I have an especially hot temper, but I have been known to shout when I get particularly angry. I try to resist it and every time I give in, I feel the dark teapot-ness inside me growing. I must hold it back.
That brings me to the tipping and pouring out. No two verbs fill me with such horror and I live in fear of some giant hand reaching down, grasping me and turning me on an angle. It is the stuff of nightmares. I carry both a taser and pepper spray for such an eventuality. I repeat: do not attempt to tip me! Do not try to pour me out! I am well armed.
(if by some chance you have no idea what this is about, click here)
The Green-Walled Tower 
December 1st, 2013 at 9:26 pm
That’s one teapot that will get you legless
December 1st, 2013 at 9:28 pm
Yeah. 🙂 I was looking for something rather dark or macabre and that’s what I found.
December 1st, 2013 at 9:32 pm
It certainly is. You made it that way as well 🙂
December 1st, 2013 at 9:59 pm
Love the teapot- and the way you’ve used it. Of course, the thought of drinking tea that was poured out of the sole of someone’s foot is somewhat off-putting.
December 1st, 2013 at 11:58 pm
Yes, indeed. I didn’t mean for the picture to be so representative, but it is a little disturbing.
December 1st, 2013 at 10:10 pm
Haha, I love this! We actually did a session on dreams at my lit circle this week. I wish I’d been able to come up with something this good!
December 1st, 2013 at 11:59 pm
This is just something that I came up with on the bus today. 🙂 Not sure where it came from.
December 2nd, 2013 at 11:18 am
Very good. Don’t tip me, I’ll taser the f*co out of you! – A
December 2nd, 2013 at 11:30 am
I really want to see some gangster say that now: dont pour me out! 🙂
December 2nd, 2013 at 3:50 pm
hilarious story! just loved it! there is a nursery rhyme that goes like that… poor fellow! must have recited that one too many times!
December 2nd, 2013 at 4:00 pm
I was in a weird mood yesterday 🙂
December 6th, 2013 at 5:19 pm
i know what you are talking about 🙂
December 2nd, 2013 at 8:05 pm
Frighteningly funny.
Or funnily frightening.
AnElephant only knows he loves it!
December 3rd, 2013 at 9:59 am
“What if I am a little teapot?”—Made me laugh out loud. What a great piece!