After the creepy story last time, I decided for something a little lighter…kind of. I had a few people last week ask for more of the story, Jasper’s Lamp, so I wrote it. You can read the longer and creepier version of Jasper’s Lamp here, if you’d like.
copyright Janet Webb
Fructocidal
“I heard they found him with a bag of apple seeds. Then they discovered a banana in his basement, peeled and sliced lengthwise.”
“Come on, you’re gonna make me hurl.”
“You know what was in his pantry? Hundreds of jars . . . of jam.”
“Stop, or I’ll tell Mom.”
“They say he ate it on toast.”
“Quit it!”
“You don’t even want to know what he was drinking, but it had chopped up strawberries and oranges in it.”
“I’m gonna have nightmares now about getting picked.”
“Way up here on the top branch? Don’t worry, you’ll live to a ripe, old age.”
The Green-Walled Tower 
February 12th, 2014 at 7:12 pm
Dear David,
So this is what fruits in their trees talk about? Definitely lighter fare this week, particularly if it’s sugar free ;), Dare I say, “sweet?”
Shalom,
Rochelle
February 12th, 2014 at 7:22 pm
Sweet and dark. 🙂
February 12th, 2014 at 7:59 pm
Like the way you displayed this, I think I could learn a thing or two here 😉
February 12th, 2014 at 8:11 pm
I find it doesn’t work with long pieces of dialogue, since it’s harder to tell which side they originated from, but yes, this is how I solved the problem we were talking about. 🙂 I think I’ve only used it a couple times before, but it has its place.
February 12th, 2014 at 8:40 pm
Very sweet and fruity.
February 12th, 2014 at 9:00 pm
lol nice misdirection. and wonderful humor. you should watch Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs II. There’s a strawberry there named Barry and he poops jam! lol
February 12th, 2014 at 9:09 pm
I never saw that one since when it came over here it was only dubbed into Korean, not subtitled. I’ll have to find it. A jam-pooping strawberry is not something to miss.
February 13th, 2014 at 12:46 am
Yet another different one – you certainly ring the changes. Nice one.
February 13th, 2014 at 7:36 am
I thought this was one of my more normal ones. 🙂 I guess it’s all relative.
February 13th, 2014 at 1:58 am
Cool personification. And the fear of the fruit… I really liked it. Well-penned.
-HA
February 13th, 2014 at 3:17 am
Ha ha, like it 🙂
February 13th, 2014 at 3:52 am
Really cute and funny. I’m trying to figure who a fruit’s mom would be. Is it a tree? I guess that would make sense.
February 13th, 2014 at 5:08 am
You’ll live to a ripe old age. Oh, my aching sides. Stop it, David, you’re being silly!
Right.
Now, How to defend yourself against a person who attacks you with a banana.
February 13th, 2014 at 5:26 am
Marvellous. Didn’t see the ending coming at all.
February 13th, 2014 at 6:27 am
I can see the fruits taking their revenge by dropping rotted on his head as revenge… 🙂
February 13th, 2014 at 7:05 am
I hate the use of “LOL”, but you truly made me, David. Very clever. Well done!
February 13th, 2014 at 7:58 am
I like this really imaginative.
February 13th, 2014 at 3:00 pm
Good! Kill all the fruit. Especially the ones on the top branch.
February 13th, 2014 at 3:55 pm
David, I especially like “a ripe, old age.” You touch on corny but circumvent it, resulting in a brilliant use of an old adage. Nicely crafted.
Marie Gail
February 13th, 2014 at 6:29 pm
That’s a very different take on the prompt. Loved it.
February 13th, 2014 at 10:44 pm
This was great! And I thought a fruits biggest nightmare was falling. Such a great view on the photo.
February 13th, 2014 at 11:07 pm
It was the word ‘sangria’ that got me thinking, since it comes from the word for ‘bloodletting’. Glad you liked it. 🙂
February 13th, 2014 at 11:09 pm
I didn’t know that! How interesting.
February 13th, 2014 at 10:59 pm
Nice one. Way to bring the humor this week.
February 13th, 2014 at 11:03 pm
Thanks. I try to mix it up, not too many of one thing in a row. 🙂
February 13th, 2014 at 11:00 pm
Talking fruit! Funny and very clever, kept it from being too “cute.” I really enjoyed this one.
February 13th, 2014 at 11:03 pm
Yeah, things like talking fruit can get you into trouble sometimes. I’m glad you liked it.
February 13th, 2014 at 11:05 pm
I think anthropomorphizing in general can be tricky and you pulled it off just right! I would have never thought to use fruit in a “serial killer” type manner.
February 13th, 2014 at 11:15 pm
Cool take and just loved that last line 😉
February 15th, 2014 at 10:51 pm
Thanks. 🙂
February 20th, 2014 at 1:47 am
🙂
February 14th, 2014 at 4:21 am
A peachy little piece. Clever. Nicely done.
February 15th, 2014 at 10:35 pm
Thanks.
February 14th, 2014 at 12:20 pm
Haha interesting take this week…sweet, fruity and still somehow dark- talent 🙂
February 15th, 2014 at 10:35 pm
Dark and fruity, that’s a great description. 🙂
February 14th, 2014 at 5:22 pm
good one david! 🙂
February 15th, 2014 at 10:29 pm
Thank you, my dear. 🙂
February 14th, 2014 at 6:56 pm
Real interesting!
February 15th, 2014 at 10:21 pm
Thanks. 🙂
February 14th, 2014 at 9:21 pm
Cute, Dave. You broke the mold on this one! I especially liked the “Quit or I’ll tell mom” bit. Great!
February 15th, 2014 at 10:21 pm
Someone else asked who the mom might be and I honestly wasn’t sure. The tree maybe, or the branch.
February 14th, 2014 at 10:29 pm
Funny, made my think of the horror stories the kids at primary school used to tell about the old man who lived next door. Heh, jam must really be horrifying to a fruit. Fruit genocide.
February 15th, 2014 at 10:19 pm
It’s all a matter of perspective, right? What’s horrible to one is normal to another.
February 15th, 2014 at 11:41 pm
Yeah, perspective… Now I may just get *sectioned* when I burst into maniacal laughter while spreading copious amounts of jam on toast. >.>
Yes, that’s how believable it was.
February 15th, 2014 at 1:29 am
You had me clueless right till the end. Well done. Though I feel a bit foolish eavesdropping a conversation between two pieces of fruit. ‘Fructocidal’ – great name. Ann
February 15th, 2014 at 10:18 pm
Thanks. 🙂
February 15th, 2014 at 12:50 pm
Awesome – you should write for a farming magazine – the funniest one I’ve read so far. CLEVER YOU ARE!
February 15th, 2014 at 10:16 pm
Thanks, I’m glad you liked it. Although, maybe farming magazines wouldn’t want me telling them why they’re a murderer for making jam. 🙂
February 15th, 2014 at 3:27 pm
Ouch !!
I was thinking in the very same line!
February 16th, 2014 at 1:07 am
Oh that’s gorgeous. Absolutely loved it. Hope the wind doesn’t come and shake them off.
February 16th, 2014 at 2:54 am
Best talking fruit story ever! Very original, love it!
February 16th, 2014 at 7:29 am
Bahahaha! Too funny – Great story.
Blessings,
Cheryl
February 17th, 2014 at 5:36 am
Awww! Hahaha. I love how this is part horror, part humour. Well done!
-Alicia Audrey
February 17th, 2014 at 8:21 am
Thanks. I like that kind of story too.
February 18th, 2014 at 12:55 am
Oh, you had me expecting something horrific in the end despite your introduction before the story, but I loved what you did here! Its real cute and real funny. Loved this story 😀
February 18th, 2014 at 7:53 am
LOL! So funny. Thanks for the giggle
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