I can definitely say that this is the latest I’ve ever posted a Friday Fictioneers story. I’ve been the first one before, so now I guess I’m trying to be the last. I started a new job today as an ESL Instructor at a university in Iowa and also moved into a new place this weekend, so I’m hoping after this to finally settle down to a routine. This summer has been quite crazy in many ways. I apologize that I have not been able to read many stories in the last few months. I will try to be better about that from now on.
I would say that this story is weird, but that describes most of mine. I’d say it’s different, but . . . again. Read it and tell me what you think.
Memory Flames
When I first saw it, it terrified me. I had emerged from subterranean haunts far below and saw it dancing a hypnotic, alien gyration on the edge of my vision.
It was the Other and as much as it repelled me, I drew closer because of a ghost of a memory long ago. It reminded me of her, before we were sundered; before she ascended and I sunk down to personify the Underworld.
* * *
Frank came back from gathering wood and froze. A shadow, like an incorporeal old man was bending over his campfire, warming non-existent hands over its cheery flames.
September 8th, 2014 at 8:10 pm
I’m guessing that Frank is seeing a vision from the Underworld. A strong piece of writing, David. This sentence, “I had emerged from subterranean haunts far below and saw it dancing a hypnotic, alien gyration on the edge of my vision,” really evokes an eerie mood. Very well done!
September 9th, 2014 at 12:15 am
so is the unpacking done? how is new life?
September 9th, 2014 at 5:43 pm
The unpacking is not done yet, since they’re still building the house we’re renting and we’re only living in two rooms of it so far. Things will be good once everything is settled in, but it’s already more settled than it has been for a while.
September 9th, 2014 at 2:13 am
Dear David, Really good story – I wrote about a man in the fire too! You did a great job and it’s very scary. I substituted for an ESL teacher in 5th grade once – it was fun – I learned some Spanish! My great-nephew in Houston goes to a Spanish Immersion Class (he’s in 4th grade) where they speak only Spanish all day except when they leave the school proper. It’s cool – Congratulations David – You must be a genius!
Nan 🙂
September 9th, 2014 at 5:42 pm
Thanks, Nan. I’m glad you liked the story and I’m looking forward to my new job.
September 9th, 2014 at 3:43 am
Dear David,
Strange little story indeed. I’ll admit to being baffled by it. But it’s early and I haven’t had coffee yet.
Do I need to send you a tardy slip? You can probably go beyond essay and write a novel entitled “What I did on my Summer Vacation.” 😉
I live in an area where English is a second language. Well…proper English. But I’ll spare you that rant.
Happy to see you here.
Shalom,
Rochelle
September 9th, 2014 at 5:41 pm
I think it’s either a strength or weakness of 100-word stories that they can often be taken several different ways. This one is definitely that way, but if you want to see my intentions, I meant the shadow to be Darkness itself, taking a mytho-romantic view of Genesis 1, where it said God separated the light from the darkness and imagining the time before that.
Now that I am more settled, I hope to get my stories in earlier, although never in the top 10, I’m sure, since I’m not willing to get up that early. 🙂
September 9th, 2014 at 6:02 am
Captivating as always, David.
Best of luck with the new job
September 9th, 2014 at 5:36 pm
Thanks! 🙂
September 9th, 2014 at 6:15 am
Ooh, this game me goosebumps! And cheerio for the job, too. After such a summer, I bet you’re ready for a holiday proper.
September 9th, 2014 at 6:15 am
It seems I have games on my mind. I meant to say “gave”, obviously. :))
September 9th, 2014 at 5:28 pm
Thanks! And yes, at this point, having a job and a steady routines seems like a nice break, ironically. 🙂 It also helps having money coming in again.
September 9th, 2014 at 7:30 am
David, All the best on your new job! I would guess an old ghost has decided to come above and is remembering what it was like. He seems not to know he’s a ghost. Well written. 🙂 —Susan
September 9th, 2014 at 5:27 pm
This is a story I think is open to a lot of different interpretations. I saw the man as Darkness itself, remembering a time when darkness and light were not separate. But that’s just me. 🙂
September 9th, 2014 at 9:10 am
As I commented to Nan – I too saw the man in the fire in the image, but just left it.
Your tale is wonderfully well written and compelling. Definitely has an impact. Great job.
September 9th, 2014 at 5:25 pm
It’s funny; I didn’t see any man in the fire, that’s just the story I came up with. Glad you liked it.
September 10th, 2014 at 6:43 am
Hmmm …. look at the right hand side of the image — in the mid to background – there is a flame that looks like a human form.
September 9th, 2014 at 11:31 am
I messed up your plan of being the last story this week… better luck next time! 😉 just kiddin’
Intriguing story this week, the image of the incorporeal old man warming his hands over the fire is so vivd and creepy. Wonderfully done 🙂
September 9th, 2014 at 5:24 pm
Thanks, and I’m glad I’m not the only one that posts late. 🙂
September 9th, 2014 at 9:20 pm
warming non-existent hands over its cheery flames – THIS would make me freeze, too.
Good luck with the new job and the move.
September 9th, 2014 at 10:17 pm
Nice work! I enjoyed your writing style.
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