This is by far the longest Friday Fictioneers story I’ve ever written, although don’t worry: it’s still 100 words exactly. It’s experimental, as many of mine are. I think it’s pretty clear, but please ask if you don’t understand it.
copyright Dawn Landau
Salt Flats Terror
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September 17th, 2014 at 4:22 pm
I loved the script like effect, using the colour/fonts/pace was brill. Did I mention I loved it 😉
September 17th, 2014 at 5:43 pm
Thanks. 🙂 It’s definitely a story that has to be seen, not just heard.
September 17th, 2014 at 8:57 pm
wow the presentation was perfect. very effective… and it seemed more than just 100 words.
September 18th, 2014 at 3:50 pm
Thanks, KZ. I thought it seemed longer than 100 words too, since I wasn’t putting in any of the filler words. It was fun to do, although making the image took longer than writing the story. 🙂
September 17th, 2014 at 9:53 pm
Great job, more like a movie than written story. Yep, the dad was taken over but he warned the son with his last ounce of normalcy. (right?)
September 18th, 2014 at 3:45 pm
Yes, exactly. I wanted the monsters to speak earlier to show their words in green to get that across. I’m glad you got it.
September 17th, 2014 at 10:01 pm
The story itself is really good. They way you shared it here, using color and spacing and controlling pace, yeah, good stuff. Do it again!
September 18th, 2014 at 3:48 pm
Thanks! I’m not sure if I could do it again; at least this type of thing seems like a one-off sort of thing. Maybe if I get another story that would work with that format.
September 18th, 2014 at 12:46 am
Is it zombies? I just watched zombies. I really enjoy the combination of color, words, and scrolling (pacing). That was a fun and clever journey. You’re quite creative, David. Brill.
September 18th, 2014 at 3:47 pm
They are supposed to be like zombies, in that if they bite you, you turn into one. I avoided calling them zombies, since zombies don’t usually talk and I had to have them speak for the story to work. Glad you liked it. 🙂
September 18th, 2014 at 3:26 am
Great story. I was in the dark in more than one way, till Perry shared his IQ with me. 😕
September 18th, 2014 at 3:46 pm
🙂
September 18th, 2014 at 4:23 am
Great presentation, great idea and a terrific story. You surpass yourself.
September 18th, 2014 at 3:44 pm
Thank you, Sandra. I’m glad you liked it.
September 18th, 2014 at 5:38 am
brilliant!
September 18th, 2014 at 3:39 pm
🙂 Thank you, my friend.
September 18th, 2014 at 6:27 am
Dear
David,
this was
different
and visual
and successful.
shalom
Rochelle
September 18th, 2014 at 3:38 pm
Thanks, Rochelle. You know I always like to try new things. 🙂
September 18th, 2014 at 6:27 am
Dear Dave,
Dad is a monster now, isn’t he?
This was very well done, experiment a success. How did you get the paper to have a color gradient? Inquiring minds want to know.
Aloha,
Doug
September 18th, 2014 at 3:38 pm
Yes, you got it. I could have called them zombies to make it more clear, but I didn’t want to be stereotypical, and then people might wonder how they were talking. As for the colors, I wrote the story first, then make the whole thing one big image in Gimp.
September 18th, 2014 at 12:14 pm
Yikes! He didn’t get them all. There are more. RUN!!
September 18th, 2014 at 3:51 pm
There probably all, but at the end it’s the father, turning into a monster himself.
September 18th, 2014 at 1:14 pm
Love the graphic elements of this. It really adds a “texture” to the story. And yeah, it really is powerful. Great job!
September 18th, 2014 at 3:35 pm
Thanks. The idea of doing a more graphic story occurred to me last week so I wanted to try it.
September 18th, 2014 at 6:11 pm
I can’t believe we both did something like this the same week, although mine depended more on structure than colors and fonts. Good story.
janet
September 18th, 2014 at 10:49 pm
That’s cool. I’ll go read yours now too.
September 18th, 2014 at 6:33 pm
Great formatting. And the green words worked perfectly for the monsters. I never had a doubt.
September 18th, 2014 at 10:52 pm
Thanks. I’m glad it was clear. 🙂
September 19th, 2014 at 5:40 am
Great presentation, looks like you had fun putting it together
September 19th, 2014 at 10:46 am
Yeah, it was fun, although I hadn’t used Gimp in a while so it took me a bit to remember how to do things.
September 19th, 2014 at 8:36 am
Loved this. The scrolling of the story, of the living dead added to the suspense.
September 19th, 2014 at 10:46 am
Thanks. 🙂
September 19th, 2014 at 10:03 am
Very clever design with the formatting. Nice sense of creepiness, too. I liked it.
September 19th, 2014 at 10:47 am
Thanks. Glad you liked it.
September 20th, 2014 at 6:38 am
Clever structure. Nice. Shame the dad copped it.
September 20th, 2014 at 4:26 pm
Perfect David, the visual effects and colors added so much to this story…
September 21st, 2014 at 10:48 pm
Thanks. It was a fun project to do.
September 21st, 2014 at 9:28 am
David, Fantastic! It’s the first time I’ve ever seen that done on this type of venue. I agree it was more like a movie than just a story. To say well written isn’t doing it justice it’s so creative. 🙂 —Susan
September 21st, 2014 at 10:22 pm
Thank you so much. 🙂 I’m glad you liked it. It was fun to do.
September 22nd, 2014 at 1:18 pm
First of all, I do get it and think it’s one of your best…I love the format..how you created visual suspense…the brevity with such a slam dunk result is brilliant. It also made me think of that documentary they made a few years back about the guy who lived among the bears and was eaten by one…RUN…was what go me there…he had told his girlfriend to run, but stayed and was killed too. I know…grim city, but essays evoke…they do, and we have no control over what they bring up…GLAD YOU’RE BACK!!!
September 22nd, 2014 at 4:49 pm
Thanks, Susannah. 🙂 When I read through this, I wondered if I should have left more space between the dialogue, to give more sense of the passage of time. But of course the image was already 5000 pixels long, so I didn’t want to make it too ridiculous.
I am back, although I’m hard at work getting the house in shape and also spending a lot of time editing a novel I’m working on. But I’m going to start posting 2-3 times a week at least.
September 22nd, 2014 at 5:10 pm
That’s such good news…I still think you should compile all these little jewels into a book…they’re like a whole new genre.
September 22nd, 2014 at 5:38 pm
Maybe I will at some point. I have other ideas for them too, but I like to go through and take out only the best of them and then edit them a bit more. So, in other words, when I get time. 🙂
September 22nd, 2014 at 8:23 pm
Wow, what a wonderfully constructed piece. Bravo!
When I first read the title I thought it said Salt Flats Tenor – HA! What a story that would have made, but I think I like this one better.
September 23rd, 2014 at 10:35 am
Salt Flats Tenor…hmm. Just once, Rochelle should give us all a title instead of a picture and see what we come up with. I’m glad you liked this. 🙂
September 23rd, 2014 at 6:49 pm
E-Gads – you got me with this one – it’s amazing! Love it! Love it David!
Thanks! Nan 🙂
September 23rd, 2014 at 10:42 pm
Thank you so much, Nan. Your comment just made my day. 🙂