This story is dedicated to my friend Amy, who has been getting picked on by the Universe lately. Cheer up, it could be worse.
![[*]](https://greenwalledtower.files.wordpress.com/2014/10/lightning-2.jpg)
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“Hey! Hey you!” I called, getting out. “Are you hurt?”
He looked over, muzzily, I thought. “No, I’m fine.” Actually, he sounded resigned more than anything.
“Good. I mean, dang! Are you sure?”
He started to walk towards me. “It happens a lot. Hey, do you have a quarter?”
“Heck, I’ll give you a whole dollar,” I said. I kept looking for signs of damage but he looked fine.
“No, just a quarter, please. When this happens, my mouth tastes like pennies. I like to suck on a quarter, just for variety.”
With his monotone voice, I couldn’t tell if he was joking, so I gave him a Tic Tac. Maybe I was just happier handing him something non-conductive. He accepted it with a nod.
“So, what do you mean by ‘happens a lot’?” I asked.
“I get struck a couple times a week,” he said, sucking on his Tic Tac, like a scurvy sailor sucking on a lime. “More when it’s cloudy. Actually when it’s stormy, my town hooks me up to the grid. It blows the transformers every time, but our mayor’s not that smart.” He shrugged.
Meh.
“And you’re really okay?” I said, unable to move past that basic point.
He looked at me for a moment, then shouted, “Okay? Of course I’m not okay! Do you know how lonely it is being a man who attracts lightning? No kid wanted to play on the jungle gym with me in elementary school. And girlfriends? Forget about it! I actually do like long walks on the beach, but I’ve never had one. I’ve only had short ones, followed by a trip to the hospital for whoever I’m with. Do you know what that’s like?”
“No,” I said, with perfect honesty. “Are you okay physically though . . . ?”
“Physically, I’m fine. Doctors have warned me that it might cause lowered intelligence, but that’s baloney. I’m at least as smart as anyone I know.” He stopped suddenly and licked his lips. “Hey, that quarter you gave me was pretty good. Do you have any more?”
The Green-Walled Tower 
October 8th, 2014 at 2:50 am
Ha ha ha! Oh, you made laugh! I’m dying here. This was great, David. Loved it! I’m so honored that you dedicated it to me. This is my kind of story.
October 8th, 2014 at 5:25 pm
Glad to hear it. I gotta prove the whole Universe isn’t against you, even if you do have to type on an iPad. 😉
October 8th, 2014 at 6:25 pm
I guess it could be worse, right? It could be on an iPhone. 🙂 I’m feeling a little better towards the Universe today. Thanks for cheering me up!
October 8th, 2014 at 9:29 pm
Anytime! 🙂 I have written stories on my phone before, so yes, it is much worse. And may tomorrow be even better.
October 8th, 2014 at 4:57 am
brilliant imagination! poor soul!
October 8th, 2014 at 11:29 am
Ha Ha. With all that metal in his body he was not only a walking, conductive target, or lightening rod, but a virtual ‘piggy bank’. 🙂 Thanks, David for recently visiting my blog again and commenting on my psalm. ‘David’ is a powerful name. Can’t remember for certain what I read once on the original Hebrew meaning of David, but think it meant something like ‘warrior’ or something like that, meaning one who walks in ‘victory’, which is super cool and awesome I think.
October 8th, 2014 at 5:22 pm
I’ve always heard it meant “beloved”. It is a good name though. 🙂
October 8th, 2014 at 9:21 pm
I think that is what I may have read instead, but think I have heard it used with the other meanings too. But, yes it is a wonderful name and glad you are a ‘David’ too. 🙂
October 8th, 2014 at 3:50 pm
like a scurvy sailor sucking on a lime…do i love that…Sure hope Amy has more spring in her step after having this dedicated to her…such a treat. Love that he can’t get a girl…he’s hot, but in the wrong way.
October 8th, 2014 at 5:21 pm
He’s attractive, alright. 🙂
October 8th, 2014 at 5:41 pm
Greased Lightening, in pants 🙂
October 9th, 2014 at 9:21 am
Oh poor soul, that might have been one strike too many 😀
October 9th, 2014 at 10:20 am
Yes, very possibly. His brains must be slowly cooking.
October 14th, 2014 at 10:23 pm
Brilliant story-telling! I loved that story — and the whole concept of that guy’s mouth tasting like pennies after being struck by lightning, and his wanting to suck a quarter — totally creative and wildly imaginative.
October 14th, 2014 at 11:42 pm
Thank you. I like to be unexpected and bizarre sometimes. Thanks for reading. 🙂