I climbed that pillar
to meet God, hungering
and thirsting after
ragged flesh covered
my naked soul.
“What a self-righteous prig. Holier than thou? Holier than Moses, that one. He finally got fed up with us sinners and climbed up to get away. We’d yell, ‘Met God yet?’”
I met God and
He betrayed me.
I wanted to
stay but He
wouldn’t let me.
“Go back,” He said.
“I was there when he climbed down. I was going to jeer but then I saw the tears. ‘Forgive me,’ he said. I didn’t know what to say.”
April 30th, 2015 at 12:44 am
Sounds as though someone might have risen above himself. His God appears to have been looking for do-ers not thinkers. But there’s quite a note of compassion in that last comment, very effectively conveyed.
May 3rd, 2015 at 6:21 pm
Thanks, Sandra. Compassion is key in everything, I think.
April 30th, 2015 at 2:02 am
God disappoints, as he always must. Very sensitive piece about the search for god and meaning. Well-rendered.
May 3rd, 2015 at 6:22 pm
Thanks, Perry. 🙂
April 30th, 2015 at 2:49 am
Interesting… my relationship with God is more than peachy… but I know too many have too many complaints against God.
May 3rd, 2015 at 6:25 pm
I see God as a cross between a parent and a personal trainer: a cross between loving and always pushing us higher and better. I don’t know if there are any answers when it comes to God but it’s something I love to think about.
April 30th, 2015 at 3:51 am
Very interesting take on the prompt. And that: “I didn’t know what to say” shows compassion. Great story!
May 3rd, 2015 at 6:28 pm
Thanks, Francesca. Glad you liked it.
April 30th, 2015 at 7:39 am
Thought provoking. Maybe we shouldn’t be so quick to judge. Good one.
May 3rd, 2015 at 6:29 pm
Thanks. I think we usually don’t have enough information to judge accurately. Who knows what’s going on inside a person’s head. 🙂
April 30th, 2015 at 1:38 pm
When I met God I’m not sure what I’ll say either, but forgive me is always a good start. Very well written and thought provoking, David.
May 3rd, 2015 at 6:30 pm
Thanks Russell. I appreciate your comment.
April 30th, 2015 at 6:45 pm
Very interesting piece. Whether someone might think it disappointing that God sent him back, I think how wonderful that God even spoke to him. Your character may have felt betrayed, but I think he has been sent back to live life to its fullest – and that is a gift.
Of course, I could be wrong.
I like the Piece, though
May 3rd, 2015 at 6:31 pm
Yes, I agree and I’m glad you picked up on that. I used the word “betrayed” for the emotional impact but obviously in the long run it is better to live among people and help them than live by yourself on top of a pillar.
Thanks for your comment.
April 30th, 2015 at 8:55 pm
The comments are as interesting as the story itself.
May 3rd, 2015 at 6:45 pm
You’re right. 🙂 I like stories that bring out comments like this, although I try to be respectful of everyone’s beliefs and not inflammatory.
May 1st, 2015 at 6:04 am
don’t forget about 170×170
May 3rd, 2015 at 6:46 pm
I won’t, although is it a challenge that’s already begun? In other words, even if I wanted to do it, is it too late?
May 1st, 2015 at 8:21 am
I find your take very unique.. Somehow climbing down again after meeting his failure was the only way to gain some respect,
May 3rd, 2015 at 6:48 pm
Thanks, Bjorn. I don’t he failed by climbing up, but he realized that his place was down with the other people. Isolation may help us sometimes but it doesn’t help others.
May 1st, 2015 at 6:02 pm
Passionate dedication to a cause often gets ridiculed, religious or not. I like the way your story shows that, and the way the narrator gets second thoughts about his own actions, being on the brink of learning that other worldviews than one’s own can have value, too.
May 3rd, 2015 at 6:50 pm
I think passionate dedication can be valuable but without love and respect, it can be poisonous as we’ve seen so many times throughout history. Ideas, even true ones, shouldn’t be used to trample people.
May 4th, 2015 at 4:53 am
May 1st, 2015 at 8:05 pm
Dear David – Beautiful words placed in the perfect order so that you have honored God! Truly a touching tribute! Nan
May 3rd, 2015 at 6:52 pm
Thank you so much, Nan. 🙂 I like using fiction to point towards greater truths.
May 1st, 2015 at 11:12 pm
I’m with Russell, forgive me is a good place to start with God. 🙂 Compassion really came through. Nice, thought-provoking take, David. Well done.
May 3rd, 2015 at 6:53 pm
It is a very good place to start. Thank you for the great comment, Amy. Glad you liked it.
May 2nd, 2015 at 3:46 am
earth to towerkeeper…
May 3rd, 2015 at 6:13 pm
I have noticed that I tend to drop offline at the end of the week. Nothing to fear, I always come back. 🙂
May 2nd, 2015 at 5:15 pm
So it works both ways them? Interesting!
Good piece and good day, Tay.
May 3rd, 2015 at 6:13 pm
May 3rd, 2015 at 6:14 am
As humans we’re quick to judge the other person. The humility in the last line is touching. Beautifully written. This one will stay with me.
May 3rd, 2015 at 6:12 pm
Thanks, Rochelle. I saw this and thought of an anchorite immediately, but wasn’t sure what direction to go in. I like this idea though, of meeting God in isolation and being sent back to other people.
May 3rd, 2015 at 8:55 pm
I usually cringe when a Friday Fictioneer attempts poetry, but yours is evidence that any type of storytelling can be valid, even superb. Great work, fantastic visuals, good message.
Interestingly, I thought of Anchorites as well with this photo but kept obsessing over Columbus instead of going the more spiritual route. It’s just as well seeing as you handled the topic so masterfully. Nice work.
All my best,
May 4th, 2015 at 7:56 pm
Thank you so much, MG. 🙂
I find it interesting you saw this as poetry, though, since I didn’t intend it as such. I was trying to find a way to present it to distinguish the two sides of the narrative. Thank you for the kind words.
May 3rd, 2015 at 9:51 pm
Beautifully done, and the photos are haunting.
May 4th, 2015 at 7:53 pm
May 5th, 2015 at 2:59 pm
It’s been said that God doesn’t give us what we want, He gives us what we need. It’s always worked for me. Also, that the answer one often gets is “Wait.” 🙂 — Suzanne
May 6th, 2015 at 8:06 am
So true, Suzanne. Thanks for the comment. 🙂
May 13th, 2015 at 4:49 pm
Exactly, Suzanne. That’s what I was going for. Maturity means doing what we need, not what we want, even if it’s momentarily painful. Thanks for the comment, and sorry the reply is so late.