copyright Madison Woods
Our company was crashing hard when the head of my department rage-quit, switching our water cooler with a beer keg before he left.
HR found out . . . and started stopping by for a 10am pick-me-up. The company grapevines lit up and soon we were like the popular frat house of the company. I started answering morning emails to the hammering thud of techno music blaring over the cubicles. On Friday I had to step over the passed out CFO on the way to the bathroom.
Productivity plummeted.
That quarter, our profits skyrocketed. Turns out, productivity had been our problem all along.
The Green-Walled Tower 
May 6th, 2015 at 8:48 am
Management by buzz-word: we’ve all been there.
Good piece.
May 6th, 2015 at 8:52 am
Ha.. guess that doing nothing is sometimes the smoothest path to real productivity. Could we have our coffee machines replaced with those for Irish coffee?
May 6th, 2015 at 10:01 am
LOL. Good twist at the end!
May 13th, 2015 at 4:48 pm
Thanks. 🙂
May 6th, 2015 at 10:06 am
loved the final statement!
May 13th, 2015 at 4:48 pm
Thanks! I liked that idea, of people actually hurting the company by working. It sounds like the comic Dilbert.
May 6th, 2015 at 11:15 am
What a quirky little “pick-me-up” this story is. And it’s so nice to know that doing nothing can be so profitable.
May 13th, 2015 at 4:47 pm
If only it really was this way, Sandra, eh?
May 6th, 2015 at 12:11 pm
Dear David,
You had me laughing at this one. I remember one Christmas when I worked for a drafting firm. One of the ladies brought in a rum cake. You can tell me all you want about how the alcohol cooks out. In which case she must have soaked it after it was baked. I remember it being a giggly afternoon. 😉
You’re at the top of the heap when it comes to imagination. Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
May 13th, 2015 at 4:44 pm
I think rum cake is a very acceptable way to get some alcohol at work. I’ll have to recommend it to someone at work. 🙂 I had heard that alcohol cooks out very quickly but I saw a chart once and apparently, depending on how long you cook it, a fair bit can remain. Mmm, now I really want some rum cake.
May 6th, 2015 at 3:02 pm
Nice ending there, David! Sounds like the biggest problem was too much management. Fun take on the week’s prompt. Let’s hope someone manages to keep that keg stocked properly.
All my best,
MG
May 13th, 2015 at 4:42 pm
Thanks, Marie Gail. I wonder if they have a “designated worker” there, who does all the stuff that takes a sober head to do. 🙂
May 6th, 2015 at 3:31 pm
A very funny take on the prompt! And that last line made me laugh.
May 13th, 2015 at 4:40 pm
Thanks, Francesca!
May 6th, 2015 at 5:24 pm
Funny and clever, David. 🙂 I remember seeing this photo and doing a story of my own for this prompt a couple years ago. Was this photo used again for this week’s prompt? Even though I did not copy or upload all the photos to my blog for each FF story I did back then, I do remember doing this one, because my story was about the Hoover Dam in Nv. and an act of corporate vandalism to destroy the water reservoir and supply.
May 13th, 2015 at 4:40 pm
Thanks, Joyce. Yes, this week Rochelle was very busy so she reused one of Madison Woods’ prompts with the same story she did back then. You must have been one of the first ones in the group then. That picture was still 6 months before my time, it seems.
May 7th, 2015 at 2:19 am
Funny, what a great end.
May 13th, 2015 at 4:38 pm
Thanks!
May 7th, 2015 at 2:27 am
Superb ! Will use it as an anecdote in my management training next time !
May 13th, 2015 at 4:38 pm
Hehe, there you go. I think the moral of this story though is that humans are the problem. 🙂
May 7th, 2015 at 4:10 am
Lovely. Perhaps all the business schools should pick up on this.
May 13th, 2015 at 4:37 pm
I’m sure the students would love the idea, at least. 🙂
May 7th, 2015 at 4:57 am
Great story with a great ending, great fun.
May 13th, 2015 at 4:36 pm
Thanks Sally!
May 7th, 2015 at 6:52 am
I really like this. It’s not often we get a ‘business’ story on FF.
May 13th, 2015 at 4:36 pm
I’ve always thought it would be interested to get some statistics on the types of stories people write, although who has the time. There seem to be a lot of murder, marriage, and dystopia/post-apocalyptic stories in my impression. Maybe I’ll do it for my own stories sometime.
May 7th, 2015 at 7:09 am
I’m all in favor of any disruption to “life” in the cubicle farm.
May 13th, 2015 at 4:34 pm
I used to work in one of them, and yes, any sort of disruption is appreciated.
May 7th, 2015 at 7:00 pm
Haha, maybe that is what’s wrong at my office!
May 7th, 2015 at 10:19 pm
Well, there’s only one way to find out 😉
May 7th, 2015 at 7:16 pm
A “murder” of crows, a “congress” of owls, a “hindrance” of managers. (really) Funny if it weren’t so true. Well done.
May 7th, 2015 at 10:19 pm
pretty much. I like that 🙂
May 8th, 2015 at 2:25 am
Hopefully American business will take the hint! Very funny.
May 13th, 2015 at 4:32 pm
Yeah, really. I’m sure they would if it really did increase profits. 🙂
May 8th, 2015 at 9:29 am
Such a brilliant idea! Well done.
May 13th, 2015 at 4:29 pm
Thanks, Sandra. Not that this is based on personal experience or anything… 🙂
May 8th, 2015 at 1:40 pm
When you like your workplace, productivity goes up. Great and fun take on the prompt.
May 8th, 2015 at 6:21 pm
My husbands software company was at its very best when they had video games on every floor, slushie machines and a basket ball hoop outside. A corporate coop resulted in a crack down on frivolity and their sales and stock plummeted. Coincidence? I think not.
Nice take on the prompt,
Tracey
May 10th, 2015 at 10:04 pm
Employee morale has a lot to do with things, that’s for sure.
May 9th, 2015 at 1:10 am
WRITE WRITE WRITE!!!!
May 10th, 2015 at 10:03 pm
Thanks for the pep talk. 🙂 I really need to snap out of it, don’t I?
May 11th, 2015 at 11:51 am
ARE YOU THERE YET????
May 9th, 2015 at 1:12 pm
Love this! There’s no harm in having a little fun to boost profits. I like how you answered emails to techno music. Great take, David.
May 10th, 2015 at 10:02 pm
Actually, at my job I often work to techno music, although it’s on headphones. 🙂
May 10th, 2015 at 10:55 pm
A ha! That’s very funny.
May 9th, 2015 at 10:07 pm
Great take on the prompt. It sounds like an XYZ company gone wild.
May 10th, 2015 at 10:02 pm
Pretty much. I see this is as kind of a Dilbert-esque company, where employees are not the most important resource.
May 11th, 2015 at 10:39 am
YEs indeed.
May 10th, 2015 at 7:00 am
Look after the employees and the rest will take care of itself. Loved replacing the water cooler for a beer keg. That’s a company to work for.
May 10th, 2015 at 10:01 pm
Sounds like a dream job, where no actual work gets done. 🙂
May 11th, 2015 at 4:20 am
I want a job at that firm. Fun story.
May 13th, 2015 at 4:23 pm
Sounds like working at a frat house. Could be fun, although I like my quiet office in the basement that I have now. 🙂
May 11th, 2015 at 2:35 pm
Hilarious, David. Maybe all the departments should try it. They could be the happiest company around. Driving home must be a but of a problem. 😀 — Suzanne
May 13th, 2015 at 4:22 pm
Yeah, they might have to schedule a shuttle bus to take people home. Actually, I’m sure if it really increased profits in real life, companies would do it.
May 12th, 2015 at 3:50 am
NOW I AM GETTING REALLY CROSS!
May 13th, 2015 at 4:20 pm
Don’t get cross at me. 🙂 I’m back. It’s all good.