Happy Canada Day everyone! I’m sorry I’ve been away so much in the last few weeks and this week isn’t any better. I’ll be gone for most of the remainder of the week, totally beyond the range of Internet access. However, I’ll try to read as many as I can when I get back.
copyright Jean L. Hays
Sacrifices to the Monster
A few feeble cries still came from the sweltering trunks of the half-buried wrecks. As the sun set, the cars descended on a platform into the earth, moving silently on well-oiled gears.
When it stopped, an old man approached and unlocked the trunks. He pulled out the sacrifice victims, all young men and women as he had demanded.
He gave them food and water.
“They said you were a monster,” one croaked. “That you would eat us.”
“They are barbarians,” the man said. “Live down here with me until we have enough. Then we will ascend and retake our land.”
The Green-Walled Tower 
July 1st, 2015 at 11:58 am
I’d love to see this lengthened and expanded. You could do a lot with the concept of trying to figure out who and what to trust once things seem so turned around.
July 1st, 2015 at 12:00 pm
Thanks, BW. 🙂 It was almost too big a story for this, since so much is implied but yes, I could do a lot with this concept. Maybe, when I have time.
July 1st, 2015 at 12:58 pm
What Brightwaters said. More, please.
July 8th, 2015 at 10:10 pm
Thanks. You’re very kind. 🙂
July 1st, 2015 at 1:35 pm
Ah. We just have to create that colony below.. Reminds me of the Artillery man in war of the worlds…
July 8th, 2015 at 10:10 pm
Yeah, kind of that idea. I liked that part of the story.
July 1st, 2015 at 2:15 pm
Having just watched The Boxtrolls… I totally get the monster stories being told of the unknown…
July 8th, 2015 at 10:09 pm
Hmm, I’ll have to go watch that, I guess. I saw that it’s on Netflix. Would you recommend it?
July 8th, 2015 at 11:18 pm
I would indeed. Rhe stop motion is incredibly smooth. Fabulously done (came highly recommended by my animator nieces)
July 1st, 2015 at 8:18 pm
I love the premise and agree that it should be expanded. Good stuff.
July 8th, 2015 at 10:09 pm
Thanks. I guess I’ll have to now, with so many people saying that. 🙂
July 1st, 2015 at 11:44 pm
hope you read the answer to your email.
July 8th, 2015 at 10:08 pm
Yep, I got it. By the way, did you ever pick out a T-shirt from my store? You won one of the free ones from the promotion, so if you pick one out, I’ll mail it to you.
July 2nd, 2015 at 12:54 am
Good one, and yes, could make an interesting short. Well done!
July 8th, 2015 at 9:36 pm
Thanks!
July 2nd, 2015 at 1:01 am
Maybe he is a monster?
Good piece.
July 8th, 2015 at 9:36 pm
He could still be, I suppose. 🙂
July 2nd, 2015 at 1:27 am
I agree. I think there’s more to be done with this concept. I’m not entirely sure I trust him anyway. Well done.
July 2nd, 2015 at 5:05 am
Lovely. I hope the old man can be trusted.
July 8th, 2015 at 9:35 pm
I think he can, but I guess you never know. I won’t know for sure either until I write more.
July 2nd, 2015 at 9:54 am
Ah! The plot thickens. Wondering if a sequel is on the cards 🙂
July 8th, 2015 at 9:35 pm
Thanks. We’ll see, although I think a sequel might require more than 100 words. 🙂
July 2nd, 2015 at 1:11 pm
David,
I appreciate the ambiguity here. Is the old man truly kind but misunderstood, or is he a despicable villain with plans far more evil than those who provide the sacrifices can comprehend? Stellar bit of flash fiction.
Don’t worry about your time away. I hope you’re enjoying this summer and have time to play during your travels. We’ll all still be here when you get back.
All my best,
Marie Gail
July 8th, 2015 at 9:33 pm
Thanks for being such a good friend, Marie Gail, and thanks for your comments. You know I like ambiguous stories anyway and ones that make people think, so I guess this one accomplished that.
July 2nd, 2015 at 2:59 pm
Oh, this is a good one, David. Whether the old man can be trusted or not is hard to tell, but the folks on the surface didn’t seem too kind either.
Enjoy your time away from the internet. It’ll be here when you get back–unless of course the old man demands they shut it down.
July 2nd, 2015 at 3:59 pm
Oh that’s really inventive and creative. I like how this totally changes direction at the end. Well done!
July 3rd, 2015 at 3:35 am
Dear David,
I’m hoping the man isn’t the cruel beast who will eat them. It could go either way. Good bit of writing as always. As others have said this could segue into a larger work.
Shalom,
Rochelle
July 6th, 2015 at 9:58 pm
I was hoping the ending would be less ambiguous, but it’s hard to know with these until you get reader reaction. In my mind, he is not a monster at all, just an exile looking for revenge by pretending to be a monster that needs appeasing.
July 3rd, 2015 at 10:54 pm
If he requested them I am thinking he has an appetite for them..once he maybe fattens em up a bit.
July 6th, 2015 at 9:57 pm
My idea was that he is masquerading as a monster, requesting the young, strong ones that will be best for his army. But I’m sure there are several ways to take this.
July 7th, 2015 at 4:00 pm
Oh…I like that angle!
July 4th, 2015 at 3:37 pm
Nice writing, David. Good and creepy. What a way to retrieve them from the trunks of the car. Happy Canada Day, a little late. 🙂
July 6th, 2015 at 9:55 pm
Thanks Amy, and happy 4th of July to you too. 🙂
July 8th, 2015 at 12:22 am
Thanks! I’m catching up, too. I don’t know where the time is going, David.
July 8th, 2015 at 9:30 pm
I look back and wonder how I ever had so much time to blog and write before. These days it seems like my free time just evaporates.
July 6th, 2015 at 1:22 am
apparently you are planning to desert us ;p
July 6th, 2015 at 9:54 pm
No, I was just camping in a remote area with no cell phone or Internet access. I’m back now. 🙂
July 6th, 2015 at 12:22 pm
Oh, creepy and compelling, David! Very interesting take on this prompt, and very well written.
July 6th, 2015 at 9:53 pm
Thanks, Dawn!
July 7th, 2015 at 9:47 am
Oh what a wonderful take on the monster and sacrifice theme. It shows who the real monsters are: it’s always the others who get sacrificed, never the ones in power. I’d love to see more of this story, too.
July 8th, 2015 at 9:30 pm
Thanks so much. Maybe I’ll bring it back again in one form or another.