Rochelle, the moderator of this crazy group called the Friday Fictioneers, just announced that this week is her 3rd anniversary of taking over the reins. Incidentally, it is also my 150th story, which means I started just a few short weeks after she took over. It’s been quite the journey.
I must confess, I have thought about quitting sometimes, especially lately when I’ve been so busy. But I don’t want to, mostly because of all the great people I’ve gotten to know through this group. Also, I haven’t missed a week yet, and I put a lot of stock in precedent. I also think that it has helped my writing by making it more succinct. When you get in the habit of counting every word, you look for the strongest words, those that convey the most meaning. Efficient prose is generally good prose.
copyright Ron Pruitt
Emergency Telephone
The bus was shaking and bumping like a twerking paint mixer. The man in Row 24 leaned forward to Row 23.
“I feel sick. Tell the driver to pull over.”
The man leaned forward. “Tell driver . . . sick . . . pull over.”
“Someone’s sick of wearing a pullover.”
“He knows a chick from Conover.”
“Someone wants chicken and cauliflower.”
The passenger in Row 1 tapped the driver. “Just wanted to tell you, someone in the back took Colombian karate, but the alligators didn’t bite.” There was the sound of retching.
The driver slammed the brakes. “Why didn’t anyone tell me he was sick?”
The Green-Walled Tower 
October 22nd, 2015 at 1:13 am
Hilarious. Really, really well done. I’m glad you’re still with us.
October 28th, 2015 at 10:06 pm
Thanks! Don’t worry, I’ll stick around.
October 22nd, 2015 at 2:39 am
A wonderful illustration of chinese whispers. Great take on the prompt.
October 23rd, 2015 at 2:29 am
I’ve never heard of ‘Chinese whispers’. I got to play ‘the telephone game’, and it went to gibberish in three iterations. 😯
October 28th, 2015 at 9:57 pm
It seems we attribute all kinds of foreign languages to this. In my experience, the message is exactly the same for about 5 people, and then one person will totally mangle it and it’s all downhill from there.
October 28th, 2015 at 11:40 pm
While I’ve heard ‘Telephone Game’ numerous times, I’ve only actually observed it once. A course instructor told the first of 4 team members, “The red car turned left, and struck the white car.”
When he relayed it, the driver was speeding and left skid marks.
His version, to the female on the team, added that the driver had probably been drinking.
When she had to face the anchor member, all she could do was stand there and giggle hysterically.
He inferred that some information was to have been given to him, but he had no idea what it was.
I’ve never seen something go so bad, so quickly. 😯
October 28th, 2015 at 10:04 pm
Thanks, Sandra. As Archon said, I’ve never heard that name for it, but I’m learning all kinds of things with this story.
October 22nd, 2015 at 7:35 am
Hysterical. Can’t write, must laugh…
October 28th, 2015 at 10:03 pm
🙂 You’ve got me laughing now. Must be contagious.
October 22nd, 2015 at 9:29 am
Dear David,
You left me laughing so hard with this I’m in danger of retching myself. 😉 Seriously some good story telling. A good example of how things get twisted as they go from mouth to mouth.
You actually have more stories in your FF queue because I’ve posted a rerun or two along the way. You are a pleasure to have as a passenger on this crazy bus and I’m happy that I got meet you in person. In all honesty there have been weeks I’ve thought about quitting, too. Somehow I just can’t bring myself to do that.
Shalom,
Rochelle
October 28th, 2015 at 10:03 pm
Well, as I said to Amy if you keep putting up pictures, I’ll keep writing stories for them. It’s too addictive, Rochelle, I’m afraid. Of course, the writing I could do on my own, but the community is irreplaceable.
I hope I don’t make you retch, but if there’s any real danger, I’ll call the doctor for you. Well, actually, I’ll call Russell, and he’ll call Sandra, and she’ll call Doug and he’ll call… Who knows what dread disease you’ll have when the doctor finally gets the call. 🙂
October 22nd, 2015 at 12:48 pm
Haha! That is so hilarious. Anyone who’s played that game knows how a simple message can be distorted. Watching it change bit by bit was great. Fun story! 🙂
October 28th, 2015 at 9:59 pm
Thanks. It’s fun to write that kind of stuff too.
October 22nd, 2015 at 2:00 pm
That was totally brilliant AND funny!
Nicely done!
October 28th, 2015 at 9:59 pm
Hehe, thanks. 🙂
October 22nd, 2015 at 3:18 pm
Absolutely perfect… Love how it twists and turns to the end… I’m still smiling after my perfect chuckle
October 28th, 2015 at 9:58 pm
Glad to hear that, Bjorn. 🙂 Knowing that makes me smile too.
October 22nd, 2015 at 8:14 pm
Funny story, they passed the words one by one, but finally it turned to be something else 😀
October 28th, 2015 at 9:57 pm
Pretty much. ^^ Did you play this kind of game when you were young? What’s it called in Chinese?
October 29th, 2015 at 8:12 pm
Yes we played it, we call ” Chuan Hua” Game :D. In English it means passing words kind of.
October 23rd, 2015 at 5:43 am
Tell me more about the chick from Conover. Is it true she wears a silk pullover? And what about the Columbian alligators with false teeth? I’m beginning to think you’re just making this stuff up.
October 28th, 2015 at 9:55 pm
No, no, Russell. It’s all totally verifiable by the guys behind me in line. At least that’s what they said.
October 23rd, 2015 at 9:21 pm
What a hoot! We used to call it Russian Telephone! Always amazing how stories get totally distorted.
October 28th, 2015 at 9:54 pm
Thanks, Dale. I’ve never heard Russian telephone before. What area did you grow up in?
October 28th, 2015 at 10:14 pm
I grew up in, and still live, on the south shore of Montreal, in a town called Boucherville.
October 24th, 2015 at 10:56 am
Oh David, I loved this..and 150? I am so impressed. Having only done three, I know it’s not as easy as it looks being stirring in 100 words or less. I applaud Rochelle for her time and dedication since I know, now much people get out of penning FF. You are such an awesome writer my friend.
October 28th, 2015 at 9:53 pm
Thank you so much for those words, Susannah. It means a lot to me. I’m sure I’ll be here for another 150 at least, and we can all hope that at least some of those are decent.
October 24th, 2015 at 4:44 pm
Listen more carefully!!!! Well done!
October 28th, 2015 at 9:51 pm
Thanks. 🙂
October 25th, 2015 at 11:12 pm
Ha! This is hilarious. You better not quit, David. I would miss you too much. I love the first line – a twerking paint mixer. That’s making every word count.
October 28th, 2015 at 9:51 pm
Don’t worry, Amy. I won’t quit. Everyone has up and down days but as long as Rochelle keeps putting up pictures, I’ll keep writing down words for them. 🙂 I like the image of a twerking paint mixer too. Le mot juste, I think. 😉
October 26th, 2015 at 5:24 am
😉 😉 😉 😉
Wow. That was retched.
Randy
October 26th, 2015 at 11:26 am
Hilarious, David. And that’s the way it goes. Well written. Congratulations for writing so many stories for this blog. 😀 — Suzanne
October 28th, 2015 at 9:48 pm
Thanks, Suzanne. It’s been a while, but being in a writing group like this is very rewarding.
October 26th, 2015 at 11:27 am
This made me LOL. I loved this game as a girl and later as a mom.
October 28th, 2015 at 9:48 pm
Thanks. It’s always a fun thing to play.
October 26th, 2015 at 7:32 pm
ha ha .
In school we made a game called “passing the secret” and the intent was to pass the message around a circle by whispering it to the person to your right and the see how the message came back to you …the game never failed to entertain us. This story is very well made and reminded me of fun times 🙂
October 28th, 2015 at 9:47 pm
Yeah, that’s always a great game to play with a group.
November 13th, 2015 at 1:51 am
hilarious!