Well, Merry Christmas everyone. It doesn’t look very Christmassy here at the moment, with the warm weather and green grass, but I guess I can’t complain.
This week’s Friday Fictioneers story is the first repeat that I participated in before, back in 2012; in fact, it was my 3rd story ever, which you can read here, if you want. I was tempted to use the same story, but I ended up writing a different one.
copyright Scott L. Vannater
Okay, I ate the milk and cookies. But I did not eat the Elf on the Shelf.
I know the empty little suit is incriminating but it wasn’t me. Go ask the dog.
True, the suit was found in my bed.
Okay, I admit I ate the elf, but I didn’t attack the presents. The shreds of wrapping paper were planted.
By whom? No clue.
Fine! I shredded the presents, but that was before the fat man climbed down the chimney. I didn’t kill him, I swear.
This is all very stressful, your Honor. I request a scratching post recess.
The Green-Walled Tower 
December 24th, 2015 at 4:02 pm
Guilty! My guys have tried the same excuses.
DJ
January 3rd, 2016 at 2:06 pm
Yeah, this looks like an open and shut case. Pets are rarely as sneaky as they think they are.
December 24th, 2015 at 7:33 pm
Love it! LOL’s 🙂
January 3rd, 2016 at 2:05 pm
Thanks. 🙂
December 25th, 2015 at 11:14 pm
Haha! Seems you wrote about a bad kitty too. Yours is worse though. He killed Santa! I wonder if he’ll get the death penalty for that. 😉 Funny, fun story! 🙂
January 3rd, 2016 at 2:05 pm
Well, cats have 9 lives so I’m sure even with the death penalty he’ll be back at it soon enough.
December 26th, 2015 at 3:44 am
I think a litter tray recess might be called for when the judge reconvenes the court.
January 3rd, 2016 at 2:04 pm
Yeah that too. They’ll have to check the litter box for buried evidence too, just in case he tried to hide anything incriminating. 🙂
December 27th, 2015 at 12:28 am
Love the angle you took David. Such a witty monologue!
January 3rd, 2016 at 2:03 pm
Thanks, Dawn. Glad you liked it.
December 27th, 2015 at 6:17 am
Very good. I love the voice. That cat in the picture is definitely guilty of something.
January 3rd, 2016 at 2:03 pm
Yeah, it has that forced innocent look of someone caught red handed.
December 27th, 2015 at 11:04 pm
That cat killed Santa? The eaten elf and shredded presents were bad enough, but Santa? They’ll jail that cat and throw away the key. Hilarious, David. That was one bad cat. It looks like he didn’t get what he wanted for Christmas. 😀 — Suzanne
January 3rd, 2016 at 2:02 pm
Thanks Suzanne. Well, I’m not sure if he actually did kill Santa, but now that he has no credibility, no one will believe him.
December 28th, 2015 at 3:04 pm
I don’t want to be present when the cat brings up the hairballs from this meal… such a cute and fun story, I love it.
January 3rd, 2016 at 2:01 pm
Thanks! Glad you liked it.
December 29th, 2015 at 11:34 am
Dear David,
Are you familiar with the comic strip Get Fuzzy? This has to be Bucky Katt on trial. Cute story.
Shalom,
Rochelle
January 3rd, 2016 at 2:00 pm
Rochelle, I haven’t read a lot of that comic but I am familiar with it. And yes, that’s exactly the kind of cat I was picturing for this. 🙂
-David
December 30th, 2015 at 9:11 am
Because your blog is so enjoyable, I mentioned it in my last blog post-
Here’s To Being Human | Living life as a human
https://herestobeinghuman.wordpress.com/.
January 3rd, 2016 at 1:54 pm
Thanks so much!
January 15th, 2016 at 6:51 am
fair enough