copyright Erin Leary
Pat stepped outside and saw a figure yanking up handfuls of rushes from the marsh garden.
“Those’re mine, you know.”
The figure whirled. “I’m hungry, okay?”
“How about some real food?”
“Sure.”
“I’m Pat.”
“Shannon.”
They walked to the house. The supper smells greeted them at the door like a spouse’s kiss.
They ate in silence, Shannon wolfing down the food.
“Do you have a place to stay?” Pat asked.
“No.”
“You can stay here.”
“You got an extra bed?”
“I’ll take the floor.”
Shannon’s face was night sky of distrust, but still a tiny star of hope shone through.
The Green-Walled Tower 
February 3rd, 2016 at 10:18 pm
Super thought
February 4th, 2016 at 8:38 pm
Thanks. 🙂
February 3rd, 2016 at 11:19 pm
I think he found a friend…I hope so.
February 4th, 2016 at 8:38 pm
Hopefully. We all need friends.
February 3rd, 2016 at 11:37 pm
I hope they can be friends. Shannon needs some help. Hopefully, she’ll come around.
February 4th, 2016 at 8:37 pm
I hope so. Shannon seems to be thawing a little by the end.
February 4th, 2016 at 1:06 am
Nice scene. It’s interesting that you don’t reveal the gender of these two. Their names, the lack of ‘he’ and ‘she’. It reads quite differently depending on how you imagine the two. I like the supper smells ‘like a spouse’s kiss’, and the final line is great.
February 4th, 2016 at 8:35 pm
Thanks Margaret. It does change the story, depending on how you see them. Did you picture them as men, women, or one of each when you read it?
February 7th, 2016 at 6:06 am
I picture Pat as male and Shannon as female. Pat seems the dominant one – therefore – male. Isn’t it dreadful that I should fall back on stereotypes like that?
February 7th, 2016 at 5:33 pm
It’s fine. There are no wrong answers. 🙂
February 4th, 2016 at 4:57 am
The last line is an absolute gem, David
February 4th, 2016 at 8:34 pm
Thanks Chris. It was a late inspiration, but I like it too.
February 4th, 2016 at 9:32 am
Dear David,
I enjoyed the imagery in this story. You know…your characters could be two women or two guys. 😉 My eldest son’s name is Shannon so I didn’t automatically think it was a woman in your story. It didn’t detract at all for me I just had to through it out there. Well written as always.
Shalom,
Rochelle
February 4th, 2016 at 8:34 pm
Thanks Rochelle. I did that quite deliberately and you’d be surprised (or not) at how hard it is not to use pronouns. I find that readers unconsciously project onto the stories they read, especially short ones like these, so I was curious how people would take it with no gender clues.
-David
February 4th, 2016 at 9:33 am
That ‘night sky of distrust’ is a classic line. Loved it.
February 4th, 2016 at 8:32 pm
Thanks Sandra. 🙂
February 4th, 2016 at 10:42 am
Sounds like she found a friend. I hope it works out for her. Great story.
February 4th, 2016 at 8:32 pm
Thanks! I hope so.
February 4th, 2016 at 11:00 am
I like how to kept gender ambigious …if that was your intention. The world will be a better place with more people like Pat. Nicely written.
February 4th, 2016 at 8:31 pm
Yes, I did that very intentionally, just to see how readers would interpret it. It could be two girls, two guys, or one of each. Glad you liked it.
February 4th, 2016 at 1:54 pm
I really love the name you choose… the gender unimportant, or at least we are lefter wondering… Also the whole scene is something like survivors after a disaster… that’s when you need friends.
February 4th, 2016 at 8:29 pm
Thanks Bjorn. I like that idea of survivors after a storm. 100 words isn’t enough to flesh out the context but I like that one.
February 5th, 2016 at 4:04 pm
I immediately saw them as male (Pat) and female (Shannon), but after reading the comments… could be anyone. Pat is a nice person, and Shannon a lucky one. We need more Pats. Good story.
February 5th, 2016 at 9:19 pm
Yeah, there isn’t enough compassion in the world. I wanted it to be a positive story in the end.
February 5th, 2016 at 4:58 pm
As a woman, I couldn’t help but think (presuming Shannon was a woman and Pat a guy) “what does he want from her?” My next thought was..maybe HE is not a guy! Then i began reading the comments.
Obviously your story is quite intriguing.
February 5th, 2016 at 9:17 pm
Thanks for your comments, Dawn. I’m glad it was thought-provoking.
February 5th, 2016 at 11:15 pm
Much as I usually take the name Shannon for a girl, I somehow thought these two characters were male. Doesn’t matter at all as it is a story of human kindness. Yes, we do need more Pats in this world!
February 6th, 2016 at 6:39 pm
Thanks Dale. Yes, Pat could have called the police, but did the more humanitarian thing.
February 6th, 2016 at 7:42 am
Interesting picture of the conflict between trust and mistrust in the sphere of giving and receiving. Beware Greeks …
February 6th, 2016 at 6:34 pm
Good point. What is really free in life and when is there a hidden catch. That is the sort of question that causes those internal conflicts. I won’t speculate on the case here, but I’d like to think the best of Pat.
February 6th, 2016 at 8:48 am
Lovely and hopeful. A true Good Samaritan.
February 9th, 2016 at 10:52 am
Pat surely lived in a house by the side of the road. Beautiful, David. 🙂 — Suzanne
February 11th, 2016 at 8:38 pm
Thanks Suzanne. 🙂
April 2nd, 2016 at 11:14 am
loved it