Category Archives: Friday Fictioneers

April 3, 2019

The Family Legacy

The Family Legacy

The basement stank of burned flesh.

“It’s a gateway to outside our world,” my dad said, pointing to the hole. “They never stop coming, but light attracts them.”

I adjusted my night vision goggles. “Can we block it up?”

“You don’t think I’ve tried?”

A stygian tendril snaked out. Dad’s machete came down, severing it cleanly. I heard a shriek.

“They do that sometimes.” He tossed the writhing limb into the incinerator.

“What if they’re intelligent, if they need help?”

“We can’t risk it,” he said. “Don’t worry, you’ll get used to it. All blood is black in the dark.”

36 Comments | tags: dark, fiction, flash fiction, Friday Fictioneers, horror, invasion, monsters | posted in Dark, Friday Fictioneers

March 27, 2019

This is my 200th Friday Fictioneers story, each one exactly 100 words. I started doing these over six years ago, but I took a break for most of the last two years, which is why I’m only reaching this number now.

I decided to go through the Friday Fictioneers stories I did in the past and pick my top five stories. I came up with 22 favorites, but narrowed it down to 10. If you have been reading for a while, you might remember some of these. Here they are in chronological order:

1. The Wrong Tourist (#11) (This was the first one that used a picture I submitted)

2. Knick-Knack Paddy Whack (#40)

3. The Dog, the Clubhouse, and the Cookies (#53)

4. What Does This Button Do? (#61)

5. Jasper’s Lamp (#62)

6. Fructocidal (#63)

7. The Last Few Seconds (#64)

8. A Bad Car Dynamic (#127)

9. Desertedmoonlitclearing.com (#139)

10. Prodigal (#181)

And now, this week’s story.

Baby Balloons

Finally, the loom stopped.

“That’s the last one,” Mrs. Arane said. She sighed.

Her assistant Cyclosa pointed to the hundreds of shroud-white balloons along the walls. “You made them well.”

“What if they get hungry during the flight?” Mrs. Arane sniffed.

“They’ll be okay.”

Mrs. Arane wiped her eyes. “Some of them.”

“Children, come get your balloons!” Cyclosa called. She grabbed four balloons in four of her limbs.

The baby spiders lined up, bouncing with excitement. One by one, they took a balloon and, waving goodbye, launched themselves into the open air.

Mrs. Arane watched with tears and a smile.

Read about spider ballooning

19 Comments | tags: balloon, ballooning, fiction, flash fiction, Friday Fictioneers, good bye, silk, spiders, weaving | posted in Friday Fictioneers

March 14, 2019

Rebirth

By David Stewart

I tried to think of a pithier title and couldn’t come up with anything.

Rebirth

You can’t know what happens after you die. The piano feels screws loosening, feels a crowbar somewhere underneath. Wood cracks, splinters. It’ll be soon. They’ve already pried off its ivory keys. At least it doesn’t hurt.

There’s a pling sound as its strings are cut, the last music it will ever play.

Consciousness fades.

* * *

“What a unique table!”

The table feels a hand run along its glossy surface.

“It looks like it was made from a grand piano top.”

Was I ever a piano? the table wonders. It can’t remember. Unfortunately, you can’t know what happened before you were born.

26 Comments | tags: fiction, flash fiction, Friday Fictioneers, music, Piano, rebirth, reincarnation | posted in Dusk, Friday Fictioneers

November 1, 2018

I, Pawn

By David Stewart

Even pawns can become queen. Just keep moving forward.

I may only be a lady-in-waiting, but over the years, across the chessboard, the queen has taught me everything until I am sure I know more than that hapless prince.

So one night I take a large pillow and go to the queen’s bed.

Just get to the end.

Regicide? No, promotion.

I put on the crown and march to the hall.

“The queen is dead! Long live your new queen!”

I don’t see Sir Geoffrey until he stabs his sword into my side.

I always forget how the knights move.

24 Comments | tags: chess, fiction, flash fiction, Friday Fictioneers, queen, regicide | posted in Dusk, Friday Fictioneers

October 24, 2018

Big Sister Loves You

By David Stewart

copyright Roger Bultot

The phone rang immediately. Of course.

Be strong. I picked up the receiver.

“Josh,” the female voice said. “You covered your camera again.”

“Look, I’m just not comfortable—“

“Josh.” She was chiding. “It’s for your own good. How many lives does SIS save?”

Everyone knew the statistics. Special Interior Surveillance saved 47,000 lives a year. They said.

“What if you have another panic attack? Like last month? We need to see to help you.”

My chest was already tightening at the thought. “Okay,” I mumbled.

She made a kissing noise into the phone. “Thanks, Josh. SIS loves you, remember?”

26 Comments | tags: dystopian, fiction, Friday Fictioneers, surveillance, technology | posted in Dusk, Friday Fictioneers

June 20, 2018

Anna and Me and the Sa-shee-mee

By David Stewart

Anna and Me and the Sa-shee-mee

Anna and me and 30 crates of future sa-shee-mee are stuck on I-90C, America’s only interstate canal. A kayak’s jackknifed up ahead, blocking both directions, and our fishies are stewing in the sun, slowly turning into gumbo.

“We’re on water,” Anna says. “Ya gotta think outside the boat.”

She grabs a fine-mesh net and I start dumping in the crates while she gets snorkeled up. There’s a splash and then she’s getting pulled along like a professional fish-walker.

“I couldn’t hold ‘em,” she gasps when I find her twenty miles later.

Danged if that wasn’t the fishies’ plan all along.

*sa-shee-mee

32 Comments | tags: canal, fiction, flash fiction, Friday, humor, sashimi, traffic jam | posted in Friday Fictioneers, Light

September 23, 2017

Equal Opportunity Employer

By David Stewart

Night of the Living Job Applicant, Jessica thought as the man shuffled in, clutching a scribbled resume. IT guys were scruffy, but not usually abandoned-corpse scruffy.

“Job.” The voice was like dusty silk.

Taking the crumpled resume, Jessica noticed a gap between the shirt and glove. There was no skin, just thick threads running next to white bone.

The eyes were glassy, unfocused. She got the feeling this was less a person than a machine, being controlled from the inside.

Still, they were an equal opportunity employer.

“Any experience in web design?”

The head jerked once. Up. Down. “Oh yes.”

22 Comments | tags: equal opportunity employer, fiction, flash fiction, Friday Fictioneers, funny, humor, IT, job applicant, spider | posted in Friday Fictioneers, Light

September 14, 2017

Five, Maybe Six

By David Stewart

Jeremy stared at the bread, horrorstruck. It was the fifth heart.

Maybe the sixth.

Last week, he’d gone to a fortuneteller and somehow a seven-of-hearts had gotten stuck in the tarot deck. The fortuneteller gamely forged ahead, declaring he would die after seeing seven hearts.

Now he’d seen five—maybe six: that cloud had either been a heart or a camel.

Jeremy finished making his sandwich and left for work. Stepping outside, he heard a screech of metal. He looked up just as the heart from a new erotic cake bakery sign bore down.

It wasn’t a camel, he thought.

28 Comments | tags: dark humor, death, fiction, flash fiction, fortune telling, Friday Fictioneers, heart, humor, tarot | posted in Friday Fictioneers, Light

July 13, 2017

When Fame Sucks

By David Stewart

Susie said Grandma’s crystal bowl was a chamber pot.

I used it.

Grandma screamed.

Then fainted.

Dad jumped to catch her.

He dropped his cigar on the rug.

A neighbor heard the scream.

He called the police.

The rug caught fire.

Mom grabbed the crystal bowl to extinguish it.

Then had second thoughts.

The police came.

They smelled smoke and called the fire department.

A news helicopter saw the commotion.

People mobbed the house.

Someone stole the bowl.

I tackled him.

The bowl survived.

I cleaned it.

Grandma forgave me.

Eventually.

That night, headlines screamed:

WHIZ KID SAVES THE DAY!

20 Comments | tags: chamber pot, fiction, fire department, Friday Fictioneers, headlines, humor, police | posted in Friday Fictioneers, Light

June 15, 2017

A Date with Death

By David Stewart

A Date with Death

The moon was a milky corpse eye shining over the Lopinot Estate, Trinidad’s most haunted site. Inside, flashlights beams swept back and forth.

One disappeared.

“Honey?” There was no answer. She listened. A scream came from out in the jungle. Just an animal. Probably.

Creak. She hid her light. Come on, she thought.

Nothing.

A light appeared in the next room. “Hey, I found the basement!” he said, poking his head out. “It looks like there’s a grave. Let’s go down and sit in the dark.”

“Awesome!” She kissed him hard. “I love you. This is the best anniversary ever.”

I wrote this story for my wife Leah. As of tomorrow we will have been married for sixteen years, and I’m sure one of our anniversaries in the future will be spent exploring a haunted house in the dead of night looking for ghosts.