I realize this is two letters home from children in a week, but they’re very different and apparently this is how my mind is thinking at the moment.
copyright Joe Owens
Dear Mum and Dad,
Greetings from the land of inter-dimensional hospitality! Well, my first week at the Nexus Hotel is over. It didn’t drive me insane but there were several points where I wished I’d never been born. Sorry Mum, you did your best and all.
It’s pretty brutal out here. I had a party of Neanderthals stumble in from some primitive dimension and demand the first floor suites. No credit card, of course, but I got half a gazelle as payment. They trashed the rooms and set fire to two of the beds. They also massacred half a Venusian furry convention that was meeting on the third floor. I comped the survivors their rooms. Hope that’s okay.
On Wednesday, we had a couple dark specters arrive. Didn’t pay, of course, just loitered around haunting the place. I got them exorcised finally. It’s fine now.
Some sort of space princess came two days ago. That’s when things started looking up. She’s pretty. I let her have the top two floors indefinitely. I’m redecorating for her, turning it into a castle.
Don’t worry about the hotel, I’m handling everything.
Your son,
Winky.
Winky’s father put down the letter. “Maybe I should go help him out. Just for a few days.”
“You’re retired,” his wife said. “You promised.”
Her husband noticed the way she was fingering her knife. “Right, right. I’m sure he’ll be fine.”
