I froze when I opened the trash. There was a pickle.
I hate pickles.
And I live alone.
Someone was in my house! Eating pickles.
Then a man walked into the kitchen.
Not for ice cream.
I called 911. He did too.
They arrested me! They said I was living in this guy’s attic for months.
That doesn’t seem right, but it’s true I’m not in any of the framed pictures.
Which is strange.
They ordered a psych evaluation.
I just have one question.
Who have I been paying rent to all this time?