First of all, apologies to all the Fictioneers whose stories I didn’t get a chance to read last week. I’ve been doing a lot of traveling and it’s hard to read and comment on my phone. However, this week I’m going to make up for it by reading all of them.
Also, this story may seem a bit confusing, but stick with it to the end.
What Does This Button Do?
Just before the bombs struck, Patty pressed the button.
The high-pitched whistle above meant imminent death.
As she reached the workshop, she heard the dreaded drone of bombers above.
There it was, half-buried.
Penny scrambled over wreckage, biting back the scream that kept trying to rise.
The workshop! Was it still untouched?
She peered out of a burning hole into a hellscape littered with bodies and burning cars.
The next day, the bombs fell; Patty woke to heat and smoke.
“Ok.”
“It reverses the flow of time,” her uncle said. “Don’t touch it.”
“What does this button do?” Patty asked.
January 30th, 2014 at 3:05 pm
I get it, I’m supposed to read it the wrong way round. Brilliant.
January 30th, 2014 at 3:13 pm
Exactly. 🙂 I hoped that everything would become clear when people got to the end.
January 30th, 2014 at 4:30 pm
A clever structure to complement the theme. I pretty much realised what was happening about three lines in but couldn’t be entirely sure so read it backwards at the end A good idea, but then I’ve come to expect something different from you each week – not just the story itself but the manner of delivery. It’s going to be hard to keep this up David.
January 30th, 2014 at 5:08 pm
It probably will, but I just write things as they come to me, not necessarily trying for something novel every time. We’ll see how it goes. 🙂
January 30th, 2014 at 4:44 pm
saved by a button?
January 30th, 2014 at 5:09 pm
saved, possibly, although maybe just delaying everything and causing it to repeat again. I’ll let you decide how that works. 🙂
January 30th, 2014 at 5:49 pm
you know my choice 🙂
btw, if you can get the all the seasons of fringe watch it! believe me, its worth every minute!
January 30th, 2014 at 10:23 pm
Oh, I liked this very much. Very clever. I didn’t realise until the very end. And yes, I really want to know if the button simply sets everything on repeat…?
January 30th, 2014 at 11:23 pm
Or, maybe it just sets time in reverse forever, all the way back to the beginning of time. 🙂
January 30th, 2014 at 10:32 pm
yet another clever way of presenting a very imaginative piece. well done 🙂
January 30th, 2014 at 11:27 pm
Thanks. 🙂 I don’t want to get too gimmicky with the presentation in general, but it’s fun to play around and in this case, I felt it was necessary for the story.
January 30th, 2014 at 11:38 pm
Very creative, David. You’re always up to something new and different.
janet
January 31st, 2014 at 12:26 am
Hope your time-reversal button doesn’t keep repeating the cycle from Patty’s query to her pressing the button–pretty boring way to spend eternity, although there’s a lot of excitement in that brief time period.. Interesting take here.
January 31st, 2014 at 12:39 am
Clever twist, darling. Like an apocalyptic Groundhog Day. All that’s missing is Bill Murray.
January 31st, 2014 at 12:54 am
Love it… That’s one way of saving it all.. The last sentence is hilarious.
January 31st, 2014 at 2:12 am
Very interesting story, it definitely makes me want to read more!
January 31st, 2014 at 8:25 am
Kind of twilight zone ‘ish’. Like rewind.
January 31st, 2014 at 10:08 am
Very creative storytelling…
January 31st, 2014 at 5:47 pm
Cool – great story – and I did read it bottoms up – very good!
January 31st, 2014 at 7:29 pm
This is good and very cleverly written. What a horrible thought though, living life in a continuous loop.
January 31st, 2014 at 9:14 pm
That would be horrible, although of course, you’d never know. 😉
January 31st, 2014 at 11:29 pm
next time when you go out on a hiking trip, think about stories and when you return share them 🙂
February 1st, 2014 at 8:51 am
So, does it happen over and over again?! Hmm? I hope they can break the cycle. So clever, David!
February 1st, 2014 at 4:47 pm
Very cool concept and very well executed! Took me a while to get;actually I had to buy the Cliff’s’ Notes. Now get me one of those buttons but with a shut off switch when I get back in time far enough!
February 1st, 2014 at 7:06 pm
Dear David,
I’m in awe of your writing. Clever structure.
Shalom,
Rochelle
February 2nd, 2014 at 12:22 am
Thank you so much, Rochelle. That is high praise indeed. Have a great weekend,
-David
February 1st, 2014 at 11:17 pm
come on david!!!! wakie wakie!
February 1st, 2014 at 11:28 pm
I just posted something 5 minutes ago. 🙂 It’s kind of a story.
February 1st, 2014 at 11:30 pm
Can I get a machine to do that? Keep Patty away!
February 1st, 2014 at 11:52 pm
That would be definitely useful at times, unless yes, someone else kept rewinding things on us, making us go through things we’d rather not revisit.
February 2nd, 2014 at 3:03 am
Some people just can’t keep their hands off buttons and switches, can they. Like the say, curiosity killed the cat.
February 2nd, 2014 at 5:45 am
“What does this button do?” one of the great questions of our times. A brilliant interpretation.
February 2nd, 2014 at 9:19 pm
Very clever – it reminded me of the film Memento, with Guy Pierce… 🙂
February 2nd, 2014 at 11:11 pm
Oh,this was so unique-a great idea and brilliantly done David:-)
February 3rd, 2014 at 12:04 am
Thank you very much. 🙂
February 3rd, 2014 at 12:23 am
🙂
February 3rd, 2014 at 2:13 am
Very clever! It made a lot more sense once I got to the end and then read it the other way round.
February 3rd, 2014 at 8:09 pm
Really clever and interesting 🙂
February 3rd, 2014 at 8:36 pm
But how long can she do that?
February 3rd, 2014 at 8:58 pm
It’s hard to tell. She won’t know that she’s ever done it before if she reverses time (of course, another question is, when does the reversal stop?)
February 3rd, 2014 at 9:18 pm
Groundhog day!
February 4th, 2014 at 2:14 am
This is sensational! It took me a while to understand, but when I did get it,I was spellbound. Amazingly done
February 4th, 2014 at 8:25 am
Thank you. I’m glad you liked it. 🙂
February 12th, 2014 at 9:40 am
Cleverly brilliant….:)
March 27th, 2019 at 11:15 am
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