Category Archives: Friday Fictioneers

December 16, 2015

Outside the Window

Well, for the first time in quite a while, I’m actually posting this on Wednesday. Despite this being exam week, I’m actually not as busy as I have been in the past few months.

A bomb exploded. Amna saw the orange death-flower blossom a mile away.

She ran water for dishes—

A helicopter thundered overhead.

rinsed a plate—

An angry line streaked from the ground.

washed the cutlery.

The helicopter exploded.

She refused to hide. This had been her home for her whole life.

Somewhere nearby, she heard the rattle of rifle fire.

They won’t change me, she thought savagely. They won’t win!

Her favorite cup, which she had been gripping unconsciously, shattered. She stared down at the blood dripping into the dishwater and realized, suddenly, that nothing would ever be the same again.

27 Comments | tags: denial, dishes, fiction, flash fiction, Friday Fictioneers, war | posted in Friday Fictioneers, Uncategorized

December 14, 2015

One Small Step for a Chicken

By David Stewart

One Small Step for a Chicken

Vanessa was one nervous chicken. She took a deep breath, and stepped out into the bright lights. Cameras flashed.

“Thank you,” she said. “I am proud to be the first chicken to be appointed as CEO of a Fortune 500 company. One small step for a chicken; one giant leap for poultry-kind.”

She was sweating through her feathers. Stress always made her— oh no, not now.

She felt the pressure but couldn’t stop it. Seconds later, a giant egg dropped onto the platform.

Shocked silence.

“Looks like I’m being productive already,” Vanessa said. The audience laughed, relieved.

She had this.

17 Comments | tags: business, CEO, chicken, embarrassing situation, fiction, flash fiction, Friday Fictioneers, funny, quirky | posted in Friday Fictioneers, Uncategorized

December 4, 2015

Did I Ever Tell You How I Met My Wife?

By David Stewart

Disclaimer: this is fiction. This is not how I, David Stewart, met my wife.

That said, this is my 3rd anniversary of doing Friday Fictioneers stories every week, which means I have written 156 100-word stories thus far.

I was having trouble thinking of a good story for this one so I asked the students in my writing class. They told me to write “a funny, horror love story”. Thanks guys, eh?

I got my revenge though, by assigning them each to write a story for Friday Fictioneers. They have their own WordPress blogs as part of our curriculum, so they’re going to post them there. If you want to read them, the links are:

https://bobybangladesh.wordpress.com/2015/12/05/surprising-assets/

https://yuxianadventure.wordpress.com/

https://tmsamurai.wordpress.com/

The last two hadn’t posted their stories at the time I posted this. Keep in mind that they are still learning English and before these stories, they had each written one fiction piece in English.

Now, on to the story.

Did I Ever Tell You How I Met My Wife?

I unearthed her while digging the foundation of a new office building. She lay there, dead but conscious, watching me.

It took me twenty minutes just to ask her name. I was so shy.

It was rough at first; all relationships are. I’m a vegetarian; she drinks the blood of the living. Well opposites attract, they say.

That was 6 years ago. We’ve both adjusted.

My phone buzzes. Honey, bring a ssssacrifice home for dinner. I hunger I thirst lol

“Hey Bill,” I say to my co-worker. “Wanna come home for supper? My wife will whip you up, something special.”

32 Comments | tags: creepy, death, fantasy, fiction, flash fiction, Friday Fictioneers, funny, marriage, monster, murder, quirky, sacrifice, students, teaching, wife, woman, writing class | posted in Friday Fictioneers

December 2, 2015

Sapphire Eternity

By David Stewart

The sea was calm and empty in the way a Twitter feed wasn’t.

Jake sat on the edge of the cliff, looking out into sapphire eternity.

He reached for his phone, realized he didn’t have it, realized that was the point.

What time was it?

The funeral was probably over.

They were probably furious with him.

How could he, of all people? they’d say.

He’d finally posted about her death, but couldn’t bear to change his relationship status.

He had to go back soon, he knew.

But for now he sat, letting it all drain out into that sapphire eternity.

11 Comments | tags: death, escape, fiction, flash fiction, Friday Fictioneers | posted in Friday Fictioneers, Uncategorized

November 22, 2015

Fruitcake

By David Stewart

My wife and I were making fruitcake today for the holidays since I love fruitcake. I asked her what I should write about for this story and she said fruitcake, so here it is.

Fruitcake

“It’s art,” Peter told his mother. He was ten and meticulously arranging boiled eggs around a raccoon carcass while a friend played D flat on the piano every 6.7 seconds.

“What does it mean?” she asked, but her expression said she thought he was a fruitcake.

“What does it mean?” a policeman asked ten years later, after Peter had put a woman’s shoe in every drain in New York.

“It’s art.”

“You’re a fruitcake, you know?”

Finally, he made a piece of artwork that captured national attention.

“100-foot statue made entirely of fruitcake!” the headlines screamed. “What could it mean?”

13 Comments | tags: art, fiction, flash fiction, Friday Fictioneers, fruitcake, New York, performance art, quirky | posted in Friday Fictioneers

November 17, 2015

Grave Requests

By David Stewart

I have fallen into the bad habit these past few weeks of writing my Friday Fictioneers stories on Tuesday, a full week almost after the picture was released. Last week I had the excuse that I was at a conference in Cancun for most of the week, but this week there is no excuse except the normal extreme busyness of life. Last week I made it into the InLinkz group literally 2 minutes before it closed. This week, for the second time in 3 years, I missed it altogether. Still, here is my story, for what it’s worth. I realize most people probably went for a Remembrance Day/Veteran’s Day theme. I didn’t go that way at all. I wrote this story for someone specific. They know who they are. 🙂

I pressed my face to the freshly-dug earth. “Don’t leave me, Mom.”

“I didn’t.” The voice was distinct, and came from under the earth.

“You’re dead!”

“I’m chained down here. Dig me up, quick!”

I fled, and spent the evening throwing up.

Something dragged me back.

“You’re not my Mom.”

“You sure? Dig me up.”

“No.”

“Do it!”

Finally, I got a shovel.

There was no body, just a speaker. A man approached. Words like experiment, psychological, hypothesis buzzed through my brain.

The next night, the university’s psychology building mysteriously burned down. Wonder how that fit into their hypothesis.

8 Comments | tags: creepy, death, experiment, fiction, Friday Fictioneers, psychology | posted in Friday Fictioneers

November 10, 2015

Signing off

By David Stewart

The dark box lay in the hole, half covered by dirt. Soft weeping was the only sound to be heard.

“It was so sudden, right in the middle of the nightly news,” Jane said, wiping her eyes. “He got this blank look and there was no reviving him.”

“I remember the way his face glowed with life as we sat down to watch Jeopardy after supper,” Kane said. “Those were the days.”

Jane took a deep breath. “So, now what?”

Kane shrugged. “I guess we have to go shopping and buy another one. Let’s get a high-def one this time.”

13 Comments | tags: death, fiction, flash fiction, Friday Fictioneers, funeral, funny, TV | posted in Friday Fictioneers

October 28, 2015

The History of a Future Solution

By David Stewart

The Neanderthal didn’t know the word cylinder when he pulled one from the swamp. It was hard and light and he found a thousand usages for it. When he looked into it, the crystalline interior sparkled like heaven in the rain.

He gave it to his son, who passed it to his. It was lost and found a dozen times through the ages, resting finally behind climate-controlled glass, a light shining through its crystalline core.

Marcus saw the cylinder at the museum while wrestling with an intractable problem. His brain shouted “Eureka!”

He ran home and finished his time machine.

38 Comments | tags: fiction, flash fiction, Friday Fictioneers, history, Neanderthals, science-fiction, time travel | posted in Friday Fictioneers

October 21, 2015

Emergency Telephone

By David Stewart

Rochelle, the moderator of this crazy group called the Friday Fictioneers, just announced that this week is her 3rd anniversary of taking over the reins. Incidentally, it is also my 150th story, which means I started just a few short weeks after she took over. It’s been quite the journey.

I must confess, I have thought about quitting sometimes, especially lately when I’ve been so busy. But I don’t want to, mostly because of all the great people I’ve gotten to know through this group. Also, I haven’t missed a week yet, and I put a lot of stock in precedent. I also think that it has helped my writing by making it more succinct. When you get in the habit of counting every word, you look for the strongest words, those that convey the most meaning. Efficient prose is generally good prose.

Emergency Telephone

The bus was shaking and bumping like a twerking paint mixer. The man in Row 24 leaned forward to Row 23.

“I feel sick. Tell the driver to pull over.”

The man leaned forward. “Tell driver . . . sick . . . pull over.”

“Someone’s sick of wearing a pullover.”

“He knows a chick from Conover.”

“Someone wants chicken and cauliflower.”

The passenger in Row 1 tapped the driver. “Just wanted to tell you, someone in the back took Colombian karate, but the alligators didn’t bite.” There was the sound of retching.

The driver slammed the brakes. “Why didn’t anyone tell me he was sick?”