Tag Archives: Friday Fictioneers

Pattern Recognition

copyright Sandra Crook

copyright Sandra Crook

Pattern Recognition

I turn the corner and let out a primal scream. Then I take off my shoe and hurl it in rage. People look at me but then realize I’m a tourist and ignore me.

My girlfriend walks up. “What the— oh, it’s that pattern again.”

“It’s stalking me!” I wail. “It’s not argyle, it’s not plaid but I keep seeing it. The socks, the wallpaper, the hipster’s vest, that one Pinterest page, and now . . . this!”

“Just go ask,” she says.

I finally find an English speaker. “I don’t know its name,” the woman says. “We just found it on Pinterest.”

 


Reality Bestiarius

copyright Stephen Baum

copyright Stephen Baum

Reality Bestiarius

I crouch, trembling, in the storm drain. I can hear the hunter slavering outside—almost feel his hot, stinking breath. He’s been pursuing me for days. I am terrified and bone-tired.

skull icon

I sniff weakly around the storm drain entrance, my desperation for food bordering on panic. I have not eaten meat in days. I wonder if my little ones have already died of starvation.

skull icon

“Welcome back to Day 6 of the Predator/Prey Showdown! We’ve seen some surprises but it’s all going to end soon for one contestant. Remember to text 684833 to place your bets on the winner. Call now!

skull icon

Note: the title is actually a misnomer, since a bestiarius refers to a person who is forced into a combat with an animal. I could not find the Roman term for two animals who are forced to fight each other, as this story intends.


Sacrifices to the Monster

Happy Canada Day everyone! I’m sorry I’ve been away so much in the last few weeks and this week isn’t any better. I’ll be gone for most of the remainder of the week, totally beyond the range of Internet access. However, I’ll try to read as many as I can when I get back.

copyright Jean L. Hays

copyright Jean L. Hays

Sacrifices to the Monster

A few feeble cries still came from the sweltering trunks of the half-buried wrecks. As the sun set, the cars descended on a platform into the earth, moving silently on well-oiled gears.

When it stopped, an old man approached and unlocked the trunks. He pulled out the sacrifice victims, all young men and women as he had demanded.

He gave them food and water.

“They said you were a monster,” one croaked. “That you would eat us.”

“They are barbarians,” the man said. “Live down here with me until we have enough. Then we will ascend and retake our land.”

 


Misnomer

To say this installment of Friday Fictioneers is late is somewhat of an understatement. It’s so late, it’s almost early for next week. I will apologize for being busy, but next week is not much better, since I leave for a 4-day trip on Wednesday afternoon. Thanks to those who continue to read my work when I post it. I appreciate you all.

copyright Kent Bonham

copyright Kent Bonham

Misnomer

Kent sat silently, surrounded by racks of string bikinis, more air than there. Outside, the snow lay slathered over the landscape like sunscreen applied liberally by an inexpert hand. It even mockingly covered the TRAK Beachware: Yellowknife Branch sign. The red “A” still glowed optimistically pink through the snow.

He was going to be a pioneer, but it was June 15 and he had taken a snowmobile to work. He morosely picked up the reply to his angry letter to Environment Canada.

“Actually, Mr. Bonham, we prefer the term climate change these days. Global warming is somewhat of a misnomer.”


Piety by Proximity – Friday Fictioneers

copyright Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

copyright Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

Piety by Proximity

My dad believed in piety by proximity. His nightstand was a stack of Bibles. My desk lamp was holy, he told me.

“It’ll keep you safe from demons,” he said.

“What’s a demon?”

“It’s like a cross between a deer and a lemon, I think.”

One day, I went on a field trip to the cathedral and saw a row of lamps like mine, one missing.

“Did you steal my lamp?” I asked him later.

“They have five more,” he protested.

“What about the eighth commandment?”

“I didn’t covet it; I just took it.”

I suggested he read his nightstand.


Clock Tower Jill

I wrote this originally for Sunday Photo Fiction, which is a story challenge based on a picture. The stories are supposed to be around 200 words. I try to stay close to that but this week it’s a bit longer, just as forewarning.

Clock Tower Jill

I called her Clock Tower Jill, even back when I was still trying to eat her. I didn’t know her real name because we never talked, of course. She was a quirky one, Clock Tower Jill.

It was July and the hot, muzzy air was hanging like a lead blanket in the forest when I first saw those long legs stepping towards me through the undergrowth. I wasn’t starving but I roared and readied myself to pounce. She picked up a stick and swung it like a bat, right into my snout. That stunned me and before I could recover, she sprinted away. It was too hot for me to run far and by the time I found her, she had reached the ruined town. I saw her at the top of the clock tower, sticking her tongue out at me.

I kept her treed up there for days, out of spite for my hurt snout. Then I realized she would eventually starve to death and I would not get to eat her anyway. So I brought her some food. It was accepted imperiously, without even a thank you. I named her Jill. She was like my pet.

After a month of living up in the tower, she came down and called to me. “You, creature. I want to go down to the lake to swim.”

I had long given up trying to eat her and I stood by to let her go.

“I want to ride you,” she said. I bristled at that, but gave in eventually, since she was my pet.

She sat on my back and held my mane while I trotted down to the lake. I stood guard while she swam and then I brought her back. She was a good pet.

“Good boy,” she said, patting my head before she went back up into her tower. “Bring me something good tonight, okay?” That rankled but I did it for her anyway since I liked having her around. And after all, she was pretty quirky, my Clock Tower Jill.


Looking for a Deal-Breaker

copyright Raina Na

copyright Raina Ng

Looking for a Deal-Breaker

“Here’s the kitchen, where Mrs. Hernandez hacked up her husband,” I said.

The oohs and ahhs sounded disturbingly enthusiastic. The family crowded around the spot. I needed to change tactics.

“The toaster is possessed. If it catches you—”

“You’re toast?” the mother said. They all laughed. The father snapped a picture.

I started to panic. If they passed on this house, the boss said I could buy it.

“It’s part of a homeowner association!” I blurted out.

I expected horror but they just smiled creepily. “It’s okay, we like HOAs,” the father said.

I let them have the house.

My apologies to anyone who likes their homeowners association. Here are some reasons why I’ll never be part of one though.


The Family Chain – Friday Fictioneers

Copyright C. Hase

Copyright C. Hase

The Family Chain

The gaping hole in our backyard was my father’s retirement fund. There was gold down there somewhere; his father and grandfather had sworn on it.

It started with ten grand pirated from my college savings for digging equipment and from then on yielded a steady -20% return on investment until his bankrupt deathbed.

“I failed,” he told me. “Finish the work. Find my gold.” And I felt the heavy chain being passed to me.

I waited until after his final breath to put down that chain forever. I couldn’t let him see me do it. It would have killed him.


Net Sacrifice – Friday Fictioneers

I am crazy busy these days. I apologize for not being around more and not posting as much as usual. Someday, perhaps, things will get back to normal. Thanks again to all those who shared my post about my t-shirt line, Fiction T’s. I’ll be drawing for the free t-shirts tomorrow.

copyright Douglas M. MacIlroy

copyright Douglas M. MacIlroy

 Net Sacrifice

They dragged the screaming goat into the sweltering, LED-lit cave where hulking monsters hurled beams of light across the world, billions a second.

“We have the offering,” Mark said.

The Switch sat enthroned among the machines, a wizened creature with the light of a trillion bits gleaming in empty sockets.

“Goat,” it sneered. “I need more power! More speed! Bring me human.”

“Of course.” They escaped, the goat’s dying shriek echoing as the door slammed.

“We can’t do this,” Larry said. “People won’t stand for it.”

“No, people won’t stand for Google or Facebook slowing down.”

A pause.

“So . . . who?”

To me this story seems clear, but since it is sufficiently bizarre, for those who aren’t clear on the meaning, let me just say, it is as if the book Tubes, by Andrew Blum was instead written by H.P. Lovecraft. That’s all I’ve got: follow the links. Bonus points if you get the significance of the people’s names.


Ad-diction – Friday Fictioneers

A couple things before the story:

First of all, I’ve just launched a t-shirt line called Fiction T’s, which have some of the Green-Walled Tower’s best flash fiction on the back. There are a few Friday Fictioneers stories among them as well. Check out the store here, or click on this link to see the post about them. Reblog or share that post before next Wednesday and I will enter you to win one of the shirts.

Fiction Tees Logo 2

Second, last weekend I took a trip down to Kansas City and met with Rochelle Wisoff-Fields and Marie Gail Stratford. It was a great chance to chat about writing and other random things. Hopefully I can get the chance to meet other Fictioneers down the road sometime.

FF meeting

Now, on with the story. I waffled a lot on this picture before settling on this story. Click the links if you don’t get the references.

copyright Santoshwriter

copyright Santoshwriter

Ad-dicted

I did the Dew.” His hands trembled. “Nike made me. ‘Just do it,’ they kept whispering.

“Volkswagen told me to Think Small, so I sold my house and lived in a cardboard box. IMAX told me to Think Big, so now I live in a refrigerator box. I only eat McDonald’s hamburgers.”

“Because you’re loving it?”

He nodded. “I ate 82 yesterday.”

“That’s impossible.”

Impossible is nothing.” He shuddered. “I need help.”

“I might not be the best one for that,” I said, producing a brochure. “But if you get a car again, remember: you’re in good hands with Allstate.”

 


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